The Times Magazine - 15.08.2026
2026-08-16 Boosty PDF 中文极简摘要
The Times Magazine - 15.08.2026.pdf
- Boosty 帖子：Magazines - 16.08.2026
- 凯特琳·莫兰 / 谁会出现在我的遗嘱里？：凯特琳·莫兰讨论更新遗嘱的计划，旨在通过法律文件清算旧账。
- 封面故事 / 达米安·刘易斯：生存、丧亲与创作音乐：演员达米安·刘易斯在发行新专辑之际，分享其对音乐的热爱以及在悲伤与混乱中活在当下的感悟。
- 人物访谈 / 从《恋爱岛》到全球播客：播客《现代智慧》主持人克里斯·威廉姆森回顾其早年作为DJ和模特的生活，以及参加《恋爱岛》被淘汰的经历。
- 疼痛一代 / 疼痛一代：慢性疼痛的挑战：33岁的西多妮·威尔逊讲述因网球运动导致L4-5纤维环撕裂，在尝试多种医疗手段后仍陷入慢性剧痛的困境。
- 行善在心 / 牛仔裤支持基因 (Jeans for Genes) 筹款活动：通过销售单价22英镑的限量版T恤及组织筹款日，为患有遗传性疾病的英国儿童筹集资金。
- 泰晤士杂志 / 美食 / 美食推荐与Jiaonest餐厅体验：盖尔斯·科伦推荐了包括Payst泰式咖喱酱在内的超市产品，并分享在伦敦东区Jiaonest餐厅的用餐体验。
The Times Magazine - 15.08.2026.pdf
THE 4TH TIMES
凯特琳·莫兰 谁会出现在我的遗嘱里？
杂志
15.08.26
他加入了乐队！ 为达米安·刘易斯喝彩！
这位演员讲述关于 生存、丧亲与创作音乐 作者：威尔·霍奇金森
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15.08.26
5 凯特琳·莫兰 我正在更新我的遗嘱。是时候清算旧账了。 7 我所学到的 凯蒂·派珀表示，美貌是女性的一种强大货币。 8 封面故事 达米安·刘易斯 在这位演员发行新专辑之际，他向威尔·霍奇金森讲述了他终身对音乐的热爱。 14 我诱捕了我的虐待者 一名女性如何冒着生命危险让她的虐待伴侣被定罪。 20 从《恋爱岛》到全球播客 主播克里斯·威廉姆森，他是全球最大播客之一《现代智慧》背后的男人。 24 疼痛一代 为什么生活在慢性疼痛中的年轻人数量在增加？ 27 吃！我与安东尼·波登的邂逅，以及他的法式食谱。 38 爱我的间谍 本·麦金泰尔讲述米基·伯恩的非凡一生，他曾是《泰晤士报》记者、战争英雄，也是双面间谍盖伊·伯吉斯的爱人。 44 百万富翁时尚影响力者 她在学生时代开始写博客。现在维多利亚·马格拉思拥有自己的商业帝国。 49 噘嘴！夏季最佳轻盈妆容。 51 吃货的顶级厨房秘籍 用 12 个快捷技巧节省时间和精力。 52 盖尔斯·科伦点评伦敦 E2 区的 Jiaonest。 58 Beta 男：汤姆·佩克 我每天穿同样的衣服。这简直是天才之举。罗伯特·克兰普顿休假中
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封面：TOM JACKSON，本页：TIM JOBLING, ROMAS FOORD, GETTY IMAGES
编辑 NICOLA JEAL 副编辑 LOUISE FRANCE 艺术总监 CHRIS HITCHCOCK 助理 JANE MULKERRINS 助手 TONY TURNBULL
专题 MONIQUE RIVALLAND 委约 GEORGINA ROBERTS 主编 CHRIS RILEY 副艺术总监 PAUL REED
副主编 KEVIN GRANT 图片 ANNA BASSETT 副图片 LUCY DALEY 特约 BRIDGET HARRISON
《泰晤士杂志》
3
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凯特琳·莫兰
我正在更新我的遗嘱——这意味着我终于可以清算一些旧账了
我专门抽出一整天时间，来处理那些在心理上被归类为“成年人的糟糕琐事”的文件。房贷相关资料、人寿保险、保修单。所有这些东西都会被你放进一个贴着“无聊——直到发生可怕的事情，那时才至关重要”标签的盒子。
在心怀不满但高效地处理完这一切后，我终于在那个“无聊盒子”的底部找到了我的遗嘱——自从2001年它被盖章寄回给我那天起，就一直落满灰尘且无人触碰。考虑到遗嘱应该定期更新，我查看了一下——结果惊恐地发现，在“执行人”一栏，我填了一位我已经17年没联系过的电视节目主持人，以及一位随后搬到澳大利亚的牧师。
如果我在切斯特（Chester）去世，这些人显然不是处理我悲痛的孩子们以及律师的理想人选。
“这份遗嘱需要更新！”我说，“做这件事将是我今天最后一件、也是最大的一件‘无聊行政工作’。”
九小时后，我不得不承认，我既沮丧又恼火。由于之前的遗嘱是在我的第一个孩子刚出生六周时——在产后焦虑的匆忙中——草拟的，所以它是一份非常标准、模版化的文件。感觉一点也不……个性化。它只是简单地说，如果我死了，所有东西都给皮特（Pete）——如果他和我死在同一场可怕的鲨鱼袭击中，所有东西就给孩子们。
在翻阅了前几页枯燥的内容后，我决定 2026 版遗嘱将是一件更加详尽且充满情感的事情——就像狄更斯和奥斯汀小说中那种被大声朗读出来的 19 世纪遗嘱。里面充满了对意外受益者的华丽赞美（“给我忠诚可靠的 DPD 快递员——一把雨伞！愿它保护你免受北伦敦反常天气的变幻莫测之苦，那些天气干扰了你高尚的职责”），以及偶尔的随口抱怨（“给那位形容我的乳房‘结块’的全科医生——绝对什么都不给！请花点时间反思你的措辞，我也觉得你的措辞‘结块’（粗糙）”）。
而且，最重要的是，要包含温柔且私人化的遗赠。我想要大量的温柔且私人化的遗赠。你知道那种风格：“给我温柔公正的姐姐谢丽尔（Cheryl）——我的象牙发梳和种子珍珠挂表。给我朋友劳伦（Lauren）——我那本摩洛哥皮装订的《拉塞拉斯》（Rasselas）和金汞漆墨水瓶。给纳迪亚（Nadia）——位于萨洛普郡（Salop）的寡妇小屋，以纪念那些在哈哈墙（ha-ha）边饮用鸦片酊度过的欢乐夜晚。”
我试图列一份我要遗赠的珍贵物品清单。但我拥有的只有一张杰米·奥利弗（Jamie Oliver）为我画的画和一封来自大卫·鲍伊（David Bowie）的电子邮件。
我非常渴望拥有那种遗嘱。然而，当我拿着笔记本在房子里走动，记录所有最珍贵且不寻常的物品清单时，我走到了最后一间卧室——页面依然尴尬地空白着。
在过去的 51 年里，我怎么可能没有收集到任何绝妙且具有个人特色的物品？当然，我有东西——一个巨大的滤水篮、Le Creuset 的马克杯、一个空气炸锅——但这些是每个人都有的东西。你不会遗赠这些。遗赠应该是青金石胸针、象脚形状的雨伞架、或者来自“无敌号”战舰（HMS Invincible）的船钟。我一样都没有。
在进行了三小时的深度挖掘后，我能找到的最“珍贵且不寻常”的物品是：a) 一张 1993 年 Hole 乐队全通票证；b) 一张杰米·奥利弗画的他的大脑内部图，解释说他 80% 的想法都是“奶酪”；以及 c) 一封来自大卫·鲍伊的电子邮件，他在信中说：“好姑娘！”
尽管我非常珍惜所有这些东西，但很难将它们作为遗赠。我的意思是，那封邮件就只是……一封邮件。即使我把它打印出来装在相框里，感觉也不太像可以遗赠的东西。大概我们现在进入了一个时代，许多人手机里存的是“珍贵”的电子邮件，而不是一盒盒大号信纸书信——但当这些人去世时，这些东西是不可能被博德利图书馆（Bodleian Library）档案馆抢着收藏的。
弗朗西斯·克里克写给儿子的解释 DNA 是什么的信件，在拍卖会上以 600万美元 成交。赖内·马利亚·里尔克与一位年轻作家的通信，最终被出版为传世之作《给青年诗人的信》。
考虑到这一点，我 2010 年收到来自乔恩·朗森的一条短信——“你在哪？我们在法拉费摊位旁边”——这是我们在格拉斯顿伯里音乐节走散时发来的，现在看来显得非常……凡俗，而且不太可能被出版成册，在未来激励他人。
这就是为什么，最终我没有修改遗嘱。甚至连那些早已过时的执行人也原封不动。如果我不能给我的挚爱之人留下任何珍贵且不寻常的物品，那么至少我可以给他们留下一个珍贵且不寻常的消遣，好让他们从——毫无疑问是令人瘫痪的——悲痛中转移注意力：给一个极其困惑的演艺经纪人打电话并询问：“您能联系您的客户，告知他们需要来决定凯特琳的七个兄弟姐妹中谁分到空气炸锅，谁分到 Le Creuset 的马克杯吗？很抱歉。只是——她似乎忘了更新她的遗嘱。”
罗伯特·威尔逊
《泰晤士杂志》 5
维珍大西洋假期 已为您准备好 西部荒野公路之旅。
但不仅仅是 高端航班。 或豪华座驾。
我们规划好了 日落徒步路线； 午夜观星之行； 并找到了如此绝美的 黄金时刻景观， 以至于您可能会 错过那个远离喧嚣的 晚餐预约。
这足以让您 发出轻微的“咿——哈”惊叹。
所以您唯一 需要问自己的是……
我所学到的——凯蒂·派珀
凯蒂·派珀（Katie Piper），42岁，在汉普郡长大。2008年，在她24岁时，前男友的一次硫酸袭击毁了她的面容，并导致她一只眼睛部分失明。2009年的纪录片《凯蒂：我美丽的脸庞》（Katie: My Beautiful Face）获得了英国电影学院奖（Bafta）的提名。她的凯蒂·派珀基金会致力于支持烧伤幸存者，她因在慈善事业方面的贡献于2022年被授予大英帝国官佐勋章（OBE）。她主持了两部关于监狱的纪录片，并出版了多本书籍。她与丈夫理查德育有两个女儿。
袭击之后，我的脸就像一个“白痴过滤器”。 因为我永远不会吸引那种会因为我变老、体重增加，或者因为遇到了更年轻的模特而不再爱我的男人——因为他从一开始就不会对我感兴趣。
在我成长过程中，人们告诉我，美貌是女性可以拥有的最强大的货币之一。 那么，当你失去了美貌，接下来该怎么办？我学到的是，成为最自信的女性，并不意味着要成为房间里长得最漂亮的女性。
有人把我的照片放入AI，然后说：“让她变得正常、完美、美丽。” 他们的行为在道德或伦理上是否错误？我不知道。这伤害到我了吗？没有。但对于一个没有经过20年重建自信和自尊的人来说，这会伤害到他们吗？是的，我认为会。
我母亲在医院里支持我。 她自己也经历过癌症的医疗治疗。我的母亲非常坚毅——沉默但强大。她不像现在这一代人那样会把所有的感受都写在互联网上。我看着她忍受很多事情且表现得非常优雅。这激励我也要成为那样的人。
总的来说，我不认同监禁女性。 [派珀主持了纪录片《被囚路易斯安那》和《监狱母亲》。] 我相信康复，相信其他支持和赋能女性的计划，让他们在心理和生理上重新恢复健康。很多女性是在家庭暴力的情况下进行自我防卫，她们此前没有犯罪记录，但在一次自我防卫的瞬间犯下了谋杀或严重袭击罪。
我永远不会对一名烧伤幸存者说：“内在才是最重要的。无论如何你都很美。” 因为这不是我们所生活的世界的真相。现在的约会大多依赖数字应用和照片，而我们这些不符合对称标准的人可能会因为一张头像而被拒绝。所以，告诉人们这样一个谎言是非常不公平的。这不能让他们做好面对世界的准备。
我觉得自己与监狱里许多被判终身监禁的女性很亲近。 我深信，我们所有人距离这种境地可能只差一个错误的决定或一个糟糕的日子。我们将 Parkrun（公园跑）引入监狱，在院子里进行5公里跑。
访谈：乔治娜·罗伯茨
当我的事业看起来进展非常顺利时，孩子们会更亲近我的丈夫， 而我不知道他们喜欢什么样的睡前故事，或者学校里发生了什么。但如果我在家里玩橡皮泥、烤蛋糕，我就会羡慕我的同事，感到不安，并担心其他人得到了我错过的机会。
我们尝试要第三个孩子，但没能成功。 我们尝试了两年半。我快四十岁了，我想，我不想在校门口接孩子时已经60岁了，所以也许我们应该停止。我们放弃了，转而领养了一只小狗。
社交媒体上有大量的误导信息和恐慌宣传。
我最大的担忧是人们在将他人非人化。这是危险的。我们始终需要以共情心为先。
我从未在经济上如此安全过。 我在职业生涯中也从未如此成功过。我的四十岁是我的全盛时期。
我的丈夫不需要太多关注——他不像我。 当我获得 OBE（大英帝国官佐勋章）时，他们只允许带一个人。在我从事慈善工作的起因[2008年的硫酸袭击事件]发生时，我的丈夫并不在身边，所以他很体贴地退出了，他说：“我不应该是你的陪同者。应该是你的母亲或父亲。” 和妈妈一起去参加那个仪式是一件非常美好的事情，这给了她一些快乐的回馈。
在有了孩子之前，我陷入了将事业等同于身份的陷阱。 我通过惨痛的教训意识到，工作和电视节目都会结束，图书合约可能不会续签，而且人们对你的看法也会改变。■
由凯蒂·派珀（Katie Piper）撰写的《依然美丽：以力量与目标拥抱年龄》（Still Beautiful: Embracing Age with Power and Purpose，DK Red 出版，£10.99）现已出版平装本。
《泰晤士杂志》 7
“我热爱音乐
因为
你不是
亨利五世，
你也不是
亨利八世。”
他是这个国家最伟大的演员之一，出演过从《狼厅》到《国土安全》的领衔角色——那么，为什么达米安·刘易斯要开着面包车在英国的俱乐部巡演？威尔·霍奇金森为你揭晓答案。
达米安·刘易斯，55岁，摄影：Tom Jackson。造型：Free White
当一位同代最伟大的演员——他曾在《狼厅》中将亨利八世的都铎王朝式猜忌演绎得淋漓尽致，并在《国土安全》中展现了美国海军陆战队成员转变为基地组织特工的尼古拉斯·布罗迪的内心冲突——发行一张专辑时，人们首先会被吸引去问的问题是：为什么？
“如果这个说法不过分大胆的话，”达米安·刘易斯说，“我想向世界释放一些美。这是一个 18 世纪的理念：创作一件可能带来启迪和超越的作品，我觉得我有话要说。这并不容易，但一部剧作、一部小说或一首歌可以实现这一点。”
刘易斯是一个自带某种稳重感的人。在伦敦东区 Shoreditch House 的午餐期间，在一次涵盖了早期音乐冒险、定义其职业生涯的角色、已故演员妻子海伦·麦克罗里之死，以及促使他在五十多岁时制作专辑的力量的漫长对话中，他散发出一种老派的英伦气质：举止得体且相当坚毅，但在那层礼节的甲壳之下隐藏着一种敏感。毕竟，老伊顿公学毕业生通常不会在关于爱、欲望、摩托车车祸，以及路易斯·麦克尼斯在诗作《雪》中所描述的“万物多样之醉”的歌曲中倾诉一切。这些主题都出现在他的新专辑《甜蜜混沌》（Sweet Chaos）中，这是他继 2023 年在 52 岁时发行首张专辑《任务蔓延》（Mission Creep）之后的续作。事实证明，创作音乐是刘易斯长期以来一直试图满足的渴望。
“我在 12, 13 岁时学习古典吉他，我想唱歌并演奏，”刘易斯在谈到他 55 岁时开启的这个新（或者说是旧）的第二职业时说道。“而且我当时在街头表演。在 18, 19, 20, 21 岁时，我骑上摩托车，带着帐篷在夏天环游欧洲。我可以从鲍伊唱到披头士，从埃尔维斯唱到鲍勃·马利……各种知名歌曲的大杂烩。”
就像许多拥有相当舒适生活保障的人在某个阶段做过的那样，刘易斯当时过着波希米亚式的梦想生活：靠唱歌换取晚餐，独自旅行，赚足够的钱在城镇之间穿梭，沿途住在露营地。“在阿维尼翁的戏剧节期间，我会坐在河边表演，所有深夜回来的人，无论是喝醉了还是怎么着，都会坐下来倾听。我面对大约 100 人表演，那感觉太棒了。”
换句话说，在 1997 年加入皇家莎士比亚公司（RSC）并开启人生道路之前，刘易斯曾是一名流浪吟游诗人。“我听了很多五十年代的摇滚乐——卡尔·珀金斯、埃迪·科克伦、埃尔维斯·普雷斯利——这就是我想从一个
“有些歌曲毫无疑问是关于海伦的，但这并非一种疗法”
2013年与妻子海伦·麦克罗里（Helen McCrory）在一起
嗓音和一把原声吉他。你听埃尔维斯的《神秘火车》（Mystery Train），它的节奏感强得令人难以置信。那是我的初恋，第一张专辑也源于此。”
人们很容易将刘易斯的音乐转型视为一种自我放纵、中年危机，或者像我对他建议的那样，将其视为2021年麦克罗里去世后的一种疗法。他则表示，情况更像是将演戏作为一种（稍微）风险较低的职业选择。他在北伦敦圣约翰伍德（St John's Wood）长大，父亲是一名保险经纪人，母亲曾任皇家法院剧院（Royal Court）董事会成员，对他而言，戏剧比追求摇滚或至少是创作歌手的荣耀显得更体面一些。
“在学校时，我一直在演戏，一直在唱歌，一直在演奏乐器。我想是因为我成长的文化环境——私立学校以及父母都是剧院常客——这看起来像是一个正确的选择，”他说。“我不认为当时面临某种人生分叉路口；并没有那么戏剧化。从16岁起，我就觉得我想成为一名演员。我的父母对此非常开明，所以我去了戏剧学校而不是大学。那是最清晰可见的路径，虽然我热爱音乐，但除了参加学校乐队和街头表演，我与音乐并没有真正的接触。这是一种可以与我赖以生存的职业共存的热情。”
伊顿公学也并非有时被描绘成的那样是戏剧天才的温床，前学生埃迪·雷德梅恩（Eddie Redmayne，44岁）、汤姆·希德勒斯顿（Tom Hiddleston，45岁）、多米尼克·韦斯特（Dominic West，56岁）和休·劳里（Hugh Laurie，67岁）分布在过去二十年的校友名单中。“在那年毕业的250人中，只有两个人想从事艺术相关的工作，”刘易斯指出。“另一个人叫格雷斯比·纳什（Gresby Nash），他也去了戏剧学校，演了一段时间戏，然后成了音乐家和作曲家。在那个年代，声明你想成为一名演员感觉就像在‘西部荒野’——与其说是反叛，不如说当时根本没有其他人这么做。”
出身于建制派确实意味着刘易斯能够深刻揣摩那些贵族人物。在即将上映的《压力》（Pressure）中，他饰演伯纳德·“蒙蒂”·蒙哥马利（Bernard "Monty" Montgomery）。这是一部关于第二次世界大战诺曼底登陆准备阶段的剧集，由安德鲁·斯科特（Andrew Scott）饰演的气象学家因一场即将来临的风暴而反对蒙哥马利和艾森豪威尔将军的计划。这部电影讲述了英国在对抗纳粹德国战争中的辉煌时刻，但它同时也关于天气。没有什么比这更具有英国特色了。
“无法回避的是：《压力》是一部关于天气预报的电影，”刘易斯承认。“我对蒙蒂——这位在阿拉曼战役中击败‘沙漠之狐’隆美尔的伟大英雄——仅有学生时代的认知。后来我阅读了一些关于他的资料，发现他是一个复杂的人物：一个特定时代和特定阶层的人，压抑，或许在性方面，在情感方面肯定如此。他与年轻男性有一种略显复杂的关系，将他们作为笔友。他娶了第一个与他发生性关系的女人，随后她去世了，他再也没有和其他女人在一起。”
当我建议刘易斯在歌曲中表达自我的需求可能源于寄宿学校带来的压抑（考虑到他八岁就被送到东萨塞克斯郡的艾什当屋学校），他将这一观点斥为“扶手椅心理学”（凭空臆测）。但他确实了解那个世界，而这体现在他的表演中。刘易斯在《狼厅》（Wolf Hall）中将亨利八世塑造为一个神一般的形象，其表演达到了巅峰，展现了绝对权威与精神折磨的复杂交织——事实上，这有点像许多公立学校体系的幸存者。
“斯坦尼斯拉夫斯基在他的表演著作中写到了情感记忆：你从自己的生活中借用情感，并将其附着在你所扮演的任何角色上，”刘易斯
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他在新电影《压力》（Pressure）中饰演伯纳德·蒙哥马利
确认了这一点，当我询问他是否利用自身经验来塑造角色时，他回答道：“我不会刻意这样做，但毫无疑问这在潜意识中会发生。表演就是你为了在角色所处的世界中与他相遇而进行的一场想象之旅。亨利变得越来越偏执。他对自己的健康感到沮丧，并感受到了身为君主的沉重压力，而他认为这是他的神圣权利。但亨利的长处之一是他喜欢那些世故之人，比如沃尔西和克伦威尔。他提拔他们，提升他们的地位，然后将他们处死。”
我向刘易斯提出，他可能在某些方面与亨利八世的做法相似。“处决？”他随口问道，在叉起一口新土豆时与我对视。 “暗杀？”
我更多是在想他如何摆脱名声的枷锁，加入一支摇滚乐队在路上奔波，就像亨利喜欢与屠夫和铁匠之子为伍一样。“在拍摄结束时，我总是组建乐队在杀青派对上演出。令人惊讶的是，现在竟然有这么多音乐家在道具组或音效部门工作，”他这样回答道。“他们会拿出一把贝斯，说：‘没错，我24岁的时候差点签了唱片合约，’结果发现他们才华横溢。但你知道音乐家想要成功有多难。”
就音乐而言，刘易斯自己的突破发生在他在一个 Radio 2 节目中演唱了几首爵士标准曲之后，观众中一名叫史蒂夫·艾博特（Steve Abbott）的人（现在是他的经纪人）建议他录制一些素材。“那时我已经习惯了扮演演员，所以这相当出格，但我认为：人生苦短，为什么不试试呢？现在我生命中的过去五年里制作了两张专辑，并且乐在其中。”
他是否患有冒充者综合征？“我大部分决定凭直觉做出，而且感觉很自然，所以答案是否定的。但在其他人看来，
在 Wolf Ball 中饰演亨利八世
你所做的决定可能看起来要么勇敢，要么愚蠢。我从未有那种感觉。我有想要表达的东西，虽然媒介不同，但核心主张是一样的：通过讲述故事来触及让我们所有人运转的那个核心。这其中有很多交叉影响。”
当刘易斯在 2023 年发行那张带有爵士风格、慵懒且
与他的伴侣，来自 The Kills 乐队的艾莉森·米沙特（Alison Meashart）在一起
“18岁时，我带着帐篷和摩托车在欧洲各地街头表演。那太棒了”
在《国土安全》（Homeland）中与克莱尔·丹妮丝在一起
略显忧伤的《任务蔓延》（Mission Creep）时，距离麦克罗里（McCrory）去世仅过去两年。麦克罗里是他孩子马农（Manon）和古利弗（Gulliver）的母亲，孩子们现在分别是 19 岁和 18 岁，而她去世时 52 岁。“我在海伦去世之前就开始[创作专辑中的歌曲]了，”在有人暗示她的去世促使他需要通过歌曲来理清思绪时，他说道。“但如果你接受一张专辑就像一本日志，即使你是布鲁斯·斯普林斯汀（Bruce Springsteen）在写新泽西州，它也会渗透你当时所处的状态。所以，是的，有些歌曲毫无疑问是关于海伦或失去的，但这并不是一种治疗行为。”
麦克罗里是个怎样的人？“她是一位伟大的演员，拥有艺术家的灵魂和思维方式，而且她充满好奇心。她比任何人都更热爱鲍勃·迪伦（Bob Dylan）。”她支持他的新方向吗？“她是支持的，但坦白说，那时她已经病了，我们正在处理更重大的事情。关于这件事并没有太多交谈。”
在录制第一张专辑期间，刘易斯有时认为自己捕捉到了某种令人愉悦且充满活力的感觉。直到他回听像《想在巴黎变老》（Wanna Grow Old in Paris）和《她来了》（She Comes）这些显然是关于麦克罗里的歌曲时，他才意识到悲痛在多大程度上影响了基调。“那一定是因为我的心态，因为当时我很脆弱，”他说。“现在我意识到这是一张多么温柔的唱片。这就像拍电影一样：你自己的情绪和个性会渗入其中，所以最终呈现出的东西并不一定是你最初预想的。偶尔我会回听我的第一张专辑，然后想：‘我真的很喜欢这个。我想知道是谁做的？’”
这一次，刘易斯转向了摇滚和民谣，并加入了一些大嗓门的抒情曲。《甜蜜混沌》（Sweet Chaos）的同名主打歌是对一个“迷人的男人，从不庸俗或粗鲁”的刻画，带有斯科特·沃克那种宏大戏剧感的色彩。“我认为这关乎于在
《泰晤士杂志》 11
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约克郡建筑协会 (YORKSHIRE BUILDING SOCIETY)
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“这就是生活的混乱，”刘易斯在谈到这首歌时说道。“在悲伤中，在混乱中，你唯一能做的就是活在当下。你无法控制它，而这反而让人感到一种奇妙的解脱。除此之外，我们的精神被现代世界分散了，如果你是一个容易因为担心忘记周末该做的事情而焦虑的人，那么这可能会很困难。就像我妈妈说的：列清单吧。”
并非所有主题都如此宏大。《彭顿维尔监狱》(Pentonville Prison) 是关于刘易斯在同名伦敦街道上的一次摩托车事故。《太阳穴发灰》(Grey at the Temples) 是一首关于记忆力不佳的甜美民谣。还有一首曲调轻快的歌，标题叫作《水蛭》(Leech)，这个标题并不令人愉快，而其主题让我感到相当紧张。歌词写道：“所以我们聊聊天气，你赞美我的毛衣，你问我靴子是在哪里买的”，“你说它们看起来像名牌，肯定花了一英镑以上，而我好奇这个问题是从何而来的。”很多演员对记者心存戒备。但只有极少数人会将记者的虚伪通过歌曲永恒记录下来。
“我不喜欢不诚实，”刘易斯在谈到这段经历时说道，这听起来像是一个熟悉的场景：采访期间赞美有加，之后却出现一篇负面报道，或者至少是刘易斯认为负面的报道。“那个人表现得很糟糕，所以有了这首歌。这就是你需要知道的一切。”
拥有公众形象显然为写作提供了素材。很多年前，刘易斯曾被一名跟踪者纠缠，对方在首演时出现，最后开始写信，信中的威胁日益暴力。“最终，我在洛杉矶合作的制片厂申请了禁制令，她才离开我，”当我询问名为《无人区》(No Man’s Land) 的歌曲（歌词中提到爱闻起来像血）是否与该事件有关时，刘易斯这样回答。“实际上这首歌不是关于她的，但它是我最偏执的一首歌：将爱视为一种侵略行为。爱本应永远美好，但人生中总有那么一段时间并非如此。读到这里的人可能会想，‘真是个怪人’，但爱有时会让人感到一种奇妙的敌意。这与一个人的心态有关。”
如今，刘易斯有了新女友，
艾莉森·莫什哈特 (Alison Mosshart)，她是来自佛罗里达州的摇滚双人组 The Kills 的主唱。当我问她是否产生了影响时，他说除了确认她支持他的新方向外，他不想过多谈论她。他愿意透露的是，只要演艺工作允许，他已经准备好忍受巡演生活的艰苦，包括在高速公路服务站用餐和微薄的酬劳。他将在 10 月再次出发，他说，这是为了对音乐的热爱。
“我们坐进面包车后座，在全国各地奔波，”他说。“通常我的演出观众在 250-400 人之间，我非常享受其中，因为你不是亨利五世，也不是亨利八世：你只是你自己。而且它必须自负盈亏。这就是你稍微在不经意间踏入的领域。我最初只想写几首歌，而现在，随着乐队每个成员都拿到报酬，我是在经营一家企业。我不是像 Oasis 那样巡演。而是在俱乐部演出，开着分体式面包车旅行。我们将在 Garage [伦敦，October 14] 演出。你可以来，威尔。放弃你那些盛大的复兴音乐会吧。来和普通人一起体验底层生活。”
我确实可以，尽管我将与之共事（ slumming it）的“普通人”之一是达米安·刘易斯——《兄弟连》、《国土安全》、《亿万》以及许多其他作品的明星。他必须承认，相比于一般的创作歌手希望之星，他确实拥有某种优势。
“嗯，这可能在一次机会时很有用，”他总结道，“但从长远来看，这没有帮助。”因为你必须证明更多东西？“我想是的。”说完，达米安·刘易斯为我们两人买单。■
《Sweet Chaos》现已发行。达米安·刘易斯将于10月开始巡演 (damian-lewis.com)。《Pressure》将于9月9日在电影院上映。
TOM JACKSON, JOSEPH LYNN, JACKET, JIM ANDERSON, JOHN TROUSERS, DORCOM BOOTS, JIMMYCHOCOM, HAT, LOCKHATTERS, CO. UK
“创作音乐虽然不走寻常路，但人生苦短”
《泰晤士杂志》 13
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我冒着生命危险让我的虐待伴侣被定罪——并被判处 23 年监禁
露西·戈德利（Lucy Godley）的伴侣看起来像是一个充满爱心、体贴的男人。但当她怀孕时，他开始了一场恐怖的身体和性虐待。由于担心自己的生命安全，她和母亲执行了一个秘密且危险的计划，这个计划最终救了她。
路易丝·卡彭特（Louise Carpenter）报道
露西·戈德利，25 岁。
摄影：
加比·奥海达（Gabi Ohaeda）
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上帝保佑
一杯半的滋味
当露西·戈德利（Lucy Godley）在 2021 年 12 月提前两周进入分娩状态时，没有人询问原因。她当时 24 岁，在硬膜外麻醉的帮助下自然分娩，且似乎有一个在整个过程中一直握着她的手的深情伴侣。
不到一小时后，当婴儿躺在旁边的医院婴儿床里时，这位新母亲感觉到危险临近。她男友的情绪突然转变。他的眼神变得阴沉。随后是关于性不忠的疯狂指责。
“我能感觉到它在逼近，”她回忆道。“我想，‘我应该向护士求助吗？我要说什么吗？’ 护士离开房间后，那个在分娩期间表现得如此深情的男人，在婴儿就躺在她身边的医院病床上袭击了她。随后，在他们将女儿莱拉（Lyla）安置在汽车安全座椅上开车回家后，他在卧室里再次袭击了她。他骂她是‘荡妇’和‘贱货’，说孩子不是他的。‘距离医院的袭击还不到一小时，’她在谈到医院袭击时说，‘然后他开始哭泣。他经常就这样突然转变。很难描述，但他看起来会完全不同。他的瞳孔会发生变化，当我看到那些巨大的黑色瞳孔时，我会想，‘我的天呐。’ 随着袭击变得越来越严重，而他却能逃脱惩罚，我想他从中获得了一种快感。产前病房的人看到我身上布满了淤青，但我把它们解释为癫痫发作的结果。’”
然而，那些癫痫发作是由长期压力引起的，这种压力始于 2021 年夏天他第一次对她实施暴力之后不久，当时她怀孕 20 周，“那时他知道我被他困住了”。他用钢头靴踢她的腿，掐她的脖子，并咬她的手臂背面。这仅仅是个开始。
她于 2021 年 1 月开始与他约会，她 23 岁，他 21 岁，两人都来自朴次茅斯。当时她刚结束与两岁儿子亚瑟（Arthur）父亲的一段感情（他们现在成功地共同抚养亚瑟）。她是通过朋友认识新男友的。没有人提到过任何暴力史。没有人知道他有任何愤怒倾向。“一路走来全是积极信号，”她说。“他很深情，为我开门，想支付餐费，最重要的是，他对我的儿子非常好。当我告诉他我的儿子比任何事情都重要时，他完全同意。”
家庭暴力在英国很普遍。慈善机构 Refuge 的数据显示，英格兰和威尔士每四名女性中就有一名在生命中会遭受虐待。在英格兰和威尔士，平均每五天就有一名女性被虐待伴侣杀害。
另一张用作证据的照片
“当你被袭击时，脑海中首先想到的是生存。字面意义上的生存。”
在英格兰和威尔士，警方每 30 秒就会接到一个与家庭暴力相关的电话。然而据估计，只有不到 24% 的家庭暴力案件被举报。英国皇家检察署（CPS）去年的数据（截至 2025 年 3 月）显示，提交到法院的案件中 74.7% 获得了成功（41,070 起定罪），但 13,917 起案件未能成功；其中 2,167 起为无罪释放，6,624 起未能成功的案件被视为“与受害者相关”，要么是受害者退出——可能是出于恐惧——要么是未出庭。另有 4,191 起是因为证据冲突或“缺失法律要素”。
成功率令人鼓舞，但仍有数以千计的例子，为女性工作的律师无法让案件走到最后。这些情况为露西·戈德利讲述的故事提供了背景。露西现在 29 岁，终于摆脱了那个她担心会杀死她的男人，并且勇敢地讲述了这一切。
截至三月，在经历了一场令人心碎的为期两周的审判后，她的袭击者现已被判处 23 年监禁，在针对她的 11 项暴力指控中，其中 10 项（包括性暴力）被裁定有罪。她的案例不仅展现了她的勇敢与韧性，还揭示了即使在担心生命安全时，她也充分且清醒地意识到体制是如何对她不利的，以及需要做些什么。她开始制定一个周密的计划并收集证据，她的母亲也参与其中。她知道，如果想要让他入狱，这样做是必要的。事实证明她是正确的。
她收集了伤口和伤势的照片及视频，并将它们存储在
一个秘密文件中；这些照片显示了她在遭受袭击后几分钟或稍后时青一块紫一块的样子，并作为计划的一部分发送给了她的母亲。六个月后，袭击者在她的手机上发现了这些照片并全部删除。“但我发送的照片还多得是。”
作为一名受害者，她绝非孤身一人。就在不久前，西南部一名被殴打至昏迷的女性在拨打 999 之后，有先见之明地将手机藏在了花坛里。接线员当时认为自己在电话中听到该女性被活活打死。事情怎么会变成这样？监控画面显示，警员抵达现场后询问：“她还在呼吸吗？”
今天，那个来自医院病房的新生儿正在 Godley 和我交谈的房间外玩耍。她现在四岁了，推着一辆装着洋娃娃的婴儿车，在玩扮演母亲的游戏。她完全不知道，当她像那个洋娃娃一样大、被推在婴儿车里时，她的母亲当时的生活是什么样子。Godley 的儿子现在七岁了。他们仍然住在朴次茅斯。目前一项无限期禁制令已生效。除非 Godley 的虐待者在女儿年满 18 岁后决定联系他，否则他将无法见到女儿。
从 2021 年夏天（当时 Godley 怀孕 20 周）到 2023 年 10 月，她经常遭到殴打。她的头部被一个玻璃香薰机砸碎，其中的液体被浇在她的脸上导致灼伤。从 2022 年夏天起，她遭受了作为暴力行为一部分的性侵犯，为此她需要医院治疗，但从未寻求医疗帮助。
她的虐待者被判处 23 年监禁，这并非各项独立指控中虐待年限的累加，而是针对最后一次袭击的 22 年单一刑期。这次袭击涉及在厨房地板上用一把牛排刀抵住她的脖子，同时实施残暴的性侵犯。此行为被认为极其严重，以至于法官在做出裁决时，将刑期定在了量刑区间 22 年的上限。额外增加的一年（使总计达到 23 年）是因为恐吓证人。她的前男友曾对她及其家人发出死亡威胁。
“最后一次，我并不害怕自己死去，”她说，“我害怕的是他杀了我，而我的孩子们成了发现我尸体的人。这就是我告诉法官的话。”她的虐待者目前正在就其定罪和量刑提出上诉。
Godley 在社交媒体上拥有大量追随者，这源于她最初为了自我疗愈而创作、现在可以自由在网上分享的内容。门铃监控画面记录了她的朋友们回到家中告知她有罪判决的瞬间，画面中她因宽慰而瘫倒在朋友们的怀抱中。这段视频在网上疯传，播放量达到 2100 万 次。在经历了如此长久的黑暗生活后，Godley 正试图通过她的帖子将家庭暴力带到阳光下，揭露其真实面目，
LUCEY / GODLEY / INSTAGRAM
The Times Magazine 17
以便让其他女性感到不再孤单：“我现在致力于帮助他人。”
她现在自由了，但对法院系统不信任。“个别警察表现得很出色，但最终接受审判的是受害者，而不是加害者。”她几乎在审判过程中选择放弃，并且她说，“我唯一感到安全的时候，就是他身在监狱之中。”
她的胜诉几乎达到了最好的结果，但这建立在她让自己承受巨大风险的基础之上。在母亲莎伦的帮助下，她在收集证据的过程中，实际上成了自己案件的侦探。在这个过程中，她和她的母亲都病得很重。
“当你遭受袭击时，脑子里想的第一件事就是生存，”戈德利说，“字面意义上的生存。你不会自然而然地想到，让我拿出手机把这一切录下来。你始终在规划如何安全。当他掐你脖子时，你在想，怎么才能把他的手指从我的喉咙上移开？当他向你扔东西时，你不会想到，我要拍张照片。”
但她意识到，要从长远上逃脱，就必须这样思考，“因为和他在一起根本没有生活可言”。
到2022年下半年，戈德利达到了崩溃的边缘。她的男友控制她的行动，可以访问她的银行账户，并限制她与他人接触。她的母亲很早之前就怀疑发生了什么，但戈德利一直否认。
最终，她坦白了。她的伤痕遍布全脸，所有人都能看到：黑眼圈、破裂的嘴唇——而且还有没人能看到的内伤。戈德利制定了一个计划。（当她的母亲在戈德利怀孕期间第一次看到那些淤青时，她变得歇斯底里，想要报警。她的女儿说服她那是从楼梯上摔下来的。）
在2022年到2023年之间，戈德利花了一年时间秘密构建她所需的证据。
当然，戈德利是创伤的受害者，但如今，她也被那次勇敢的行为所定义。
她那份由照片组成的证据档案随后被警方证实为真实。这证明了她的指控。然而，这揭示了英国法律的阴暗面，以及家庭暴力受害者在证明其指控时被要求承担多少责任，这令人感到凄凉。
“当然，我妈想报警。我们一直为此争吵，但我让她坐下来对她说：‘我几乎没有任何证据。提供性侵犯的证据真的很难。’我说，‘妈，我查过谷歌了，我一直在寻求帮助。我们必须这样做。’那时我已经明白，[如果没有充分证据]，家庭暴力[定罪]的成功率是非常低的。而且我知道他会让我的生活变成地狱。他已经威胁过，如果我报警就杀了我。”
“我妈心碎了。但我对她说：‘要么你帮我这样做，我们把他关起来，要么他会变得更糟。’这对她来说非常、非常困难。她瘦了很多。我也瘦到了六英石。”
“她必须看着我黑眼圈的照片，看着我脸上的灼伤。在我发给她最新的照片后，她经常在睡觉前不得不放下手机。但她从未安睡。她后来告诉我，她一直在权衡：我是现在报警，然后毁掉露西的[计划]？还是不报警，然后有一天接到警方的电话说，‘很抱歉，您的女儿露西被杀害了’？”
“这对妈妈来说真的很艰难。我知道后来很多人[谈论]我的勇敢，但这也是我妈妈的勇敢。在得知她的所作所为后，有人在社交媒体上批评她，说她怎么能眼睁睁地看着这一切发生？正是因为我妈妈，我们才得到了那23年的判决。她是我的英雄。”
“我会用手机提前计划。我学会了数他的脚步声。如果他[在虐待我之后]去了厨房，我知道我有20秒的时间拍照并发送给我妈。我会把手机放在身边。我知道我的机会窗口非常小。”
如果她感觉到袭击即将到来，她会尝试将手机设置为录音状态。
她将照片存储在一个秘密的Snapchat文件中。她不建议其他受害者这样做，因为他抓住了她。在确保24 / 7安全的同时，还要在收集证据方面领先三步，这让她精疲力竭。
“我本已准备好报警。但他把所有东西都删了。从那时起，我开始处于被软禁的状态。他在我的手机上安装了追踪器。我有三个月没见到我妈。”
在她工作的养老院里，他会
突然出现，把她带到吸烟区，然后在那里掐她的腿，这是一种控制的信号。“受害者会感到非常羞愧。就好像是你某种程度上导致了他们这样对待你一样。你经常听到这种话。而且在很长一段时间里，我爱他。他会表现出悔意。他会抱着莱拉（Lyla）说他会保护她。”直到下一次发生。
“他不知道的是，我一直在给我的母亲发送图片。我打电话给她说：‘我们需要更加小心。我会尽快把东西发给你，然后在我这边删除。不要回信息问我是否没事。他可能会看到你的短信，从而知道我们在做什么。’”
后来，警方介入了。有些出警是因为邻居听到了她的尖叫。而他则予以否认，并指责她才是虐待他的人。他告诉她，她会失去孩子。随后，她开始自己报警。“请不要说是我打的电话，”她会对接线员说。但警员到达后会说：“我们接到一个叫露西（Lucy）的人打来的电话……”他会被强行带走，但 24 小时后就被释放，这让她陷入了比之前更危险的境地。
戈德利（Godley）描述的场景超乎想象。在最后一次袭击后，在他被起诉之前，他躲在衣柜里。一名警员打开了一扇门，但没有打开另一扇。警方再次被叫回，最终发现他躲在床下，但即便如此，她还必须提醒她的朋友拨打 999 说：“告诉警员他躲在床下。”
在我们在一起的两小时里，戈德利哭了两次。两次都是因为想到其他人因她遭受虐待而经历的事情，主要是她的母亲，还有她的朋友们。与他在一起的大部分时间里，她是麻木的。当他被逮捕时，她的心理健康状况骤然恶化。
结果她失去了很多朋友。对他们来说，看着她在遭受虐待期间一次次回到他身边太痛苦了。“是的，”她说，“我确实爱过他。”但她知道，如果结果走向另一个方向，是那些陪她去法庭听取判决的朋友圈子能帮她挺过来。“我可能会产生自杀念头，但我知道如果他们在身边，他们会支持我的。”
虐待者的定罪意味着一切，“尤其是因为在性侵指控上，人们相信了我”。十月，她将为 Women's Aid 参加一场半程马拉松。
“热浪期间，我的朋友们来了。‘看看你，’他们说。‘什么意思？’我问。‘后门开着呢！’确实开着。我不再害怕了。” ■
可通过 refuge.org.uk 联系 Refuge；Women's Aid 请访问 womensaid.org.uk。国家家庭虐待帮助热线为 0808 2000 247
18 《泰晤士杂志》
全新，纯电
MAZDA6e
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车型所示：全新 Mazda6e Takumi Plus，晶魂红：P11D 价值 39,930 英镑 起。晶魂红车漆需额外支付 1,000 英镑。¹ 所示数据为 WLTP 综合续航里程；出于可比性目的，请仅将 LV 续航数据与其他采用相同技术程序测试的车辆进行比较。这些数据可能无法反映实际驾驶结果，实际结果将取决于个体因素，包括电池初始电量、安装的配件（注册后）、天气变化、驾驶风格和车辆载荷，以及空调或加热座椅等功能的使用情况。所有引用数据均源自最新的 WLTP 测试周期。² 在环境温度为 25℃ 的最佳条件下，电池电量从 30% 充电至 80%。实际充电时间将根据充电器类型、充电器功率、电池状态和环境因素而有所不同。全新 Mazda6e 现已上市。交付时间可能因配置和颜色而异。
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6
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保修
来自《恋爱岛》
--。
致全球顶尖播客主
克里斯·威廉姆森（Chris Williamson）曾是来自蒂赛赛德（Teesside）的一名夜店推广员，并参加了第一季的《恋爱岛》。如今，他的播客下载量已突破 10 亿次——使其成为全球最具影响力的播客之一。
作者：马克·史密斯（Mark Smith）
克里斯·威廉姆森，38, 摄影：克里斯·戴维斯（Chris Davis）。 对面页：2015 年在《恋爱岛》中
开篇跨页：由 SHUTTERSTOCK 提供，本跨页：WENN, CHRISWELL, INSTAGRAM
为了纪念他的访谈播客《现代智慧》（Modern Wisdom）迎来第 10 亿次下载，克里斯·威廉姆森租用了德克萨斯州最大的数字视频墙，以重现近未来美国中西部尘土飞扬的平原：这是在向由马修·麦康纳（Matthew McConaughey）主演的克里斯托弗·诺兰电影《星际穿越》致敬。
这个壮观的布景是为了迎接一位重量级嘉宾：麦康纳本人。他应威廉姆森之邀进行了两小时的对话，两人在其中讨论了 #MeToo 运动（两人都认为该运动在无意中让好男人对自己的男性气概感到羞愧）以及“好心人”与“好男人”之间的区别，且经常赞同地替对方把话说完。
这成为了威廉姆森播客中分享次数最多的单集之一。这集病毒式传播的第 1,000 集标志着 38, 岁的威廉姆森——这位来自斯托克顿-昂-蒂斯（Stockton-on-Tees）的前模特和夜店推广员——已经取得了怎样的成就。它也反映了播客主地位的改变。播客现在拥有文化和政治影响力——从威廉姆森在纽卡斯尔卧室里“白手起家”的起步阶段，到去年《现代智慧》在 Spotify 全球年终榜单中排名第八。
威廉姆森在德克萨斯州奥斯汀的办公室里与我交谈。这座城市已悄然成为播客主、挑衅者和白手起家的媒体人物的聚集地——其中包括乔·罗根（Joe Rogan，Spotify 排名第一）和安德鲁·休伯曼（Andrew Huberman），两人都曾出现在《现代智慧》中。威廉姆森穿着一件 T 恤，紧身程度足以解释他为何能成为“暗黑浪漫”类情色小说的封面模特。“我妈想要几本副本，但她是不被允许阅读的，”他说。
《现代智慧》的核心领域是男性自我提升。另一个相关领域是进化心理学。
这可能是充满争议的领域，尤其是当他的播客主题通过标题党式的缩写（如“为什么现代女性在失败”）进行商业化，或者被剪辑成关于诸如出生率下降的直白断言时。“进化心理学和行为遗传学是学术界‘取消文化’末日的两名骑士，”他开玩笑说，随后补充道，“我并不是说因为某种现象存在，它就是正确的。分析不等于证明。”
一名女性评论家最近写道，该播客“呈现了一场令人印象深刻的逆向思考者和伪专家的游行”。
其他评论家将他的嘉宾名单视为某种特定世界观的证据：乔丹·彼得森（Jordan Peterson）、道格拉斯·默里（Douglas Murray）和康斯坦丁·基辛（Konstantin Kisin）——这些男人认为男性被不公正地诋毁，生物学决定命运，且进步主义机构已经失败。
在 YouTube 上对其内容进行数周的深度挖掘后，该平台似乎认为我——一个 45, 岁的已婚男同性恋者——可能在寻找“海外新娘”。但嘉宾名单中也包括民主党参议员伯尼·桑德斯（Bernie Sanders）和英国成人电影明星邦妮·布鲁（Bonnie Blue）。
他刚刚与企鹅出版公司（Penguin）签署了协议，使其成为了他崇拜的另一位常客嘉宾阿兰·德波顿（Alain de Botton）的同门。他共同创立的促智饮品 Neutonic 已在 Sainsbury's、特易购（Tesco）和沃尔玛（Walmart）销售。他正准备将他的现场表演《Mostly Wise》带到英国各地售罄的场馆。
进入这个宇宙的意外虫洞是 ITV2 的真人秀《恋爱岛》。2015, 年夏天，当时 27, 岁的威廉姆森在重启后的该节目推出第一季时，成为了第一个走进马略卡岛别墅的参赛者。威廉姆森通过担任夜店推广员和 DJ 的工作认识了 MTV 节目《Geordie Shore》的演员，并将参加《恋爱岛》视为一次精明的职业举措，就像晋级到了“职业派对男孩的冠军联赛”。
[...OMITTED...]
在每周那些没有配对且拍摄极少的闲暇日——那时制片人会指示参赛者要“尽可能地无趣”——威廉姆森与另一位参赛者乔丹一起放松，详细地解释了物理学家基普·索恩在其上述《星际穿越》配套书籍中描述的引力时间膨胀科学。
“我不确定这是否属于典型的夜店推广员聊天内容，”威廉姆森说。那天他不知道，或者已经忘记了，他的麦克风正处于开启状态。当他第二天早晨出现并前往食堂时，两名音频工程师出现在他肩头，渴望听到更多内容。“唯一能保证不会被播出的内容，恰恰是这群听了我三周所有话的人唯一关心的事情，”他说，“这太迷人了。”将此视为一个灵光乍现的时刻是否过于理想化了？他说，大概是的。“生活必须向前经历，”他引用 19 世纪哲学家索伦·克尔凯郭尔的话说道，“但只有在回顾时才有意义。”
在威廉姆森在那里成长的时候，蒂斯河畔斯托克顿以拥有英格兰最高的青少年怀孕率而闻名。
他赚到了足够的钱来用现金支付他的硕士学位——“我用一个鞋盒递交了 8000 英镑”
“后来它不再是最高了，”他带着讽刺的爱意说道。他是家族中第一个完成大学学位的人。他的母亲曾担任 Colman's Foods 和 Clintons Cards 的巡回营销代表——他指出，“对于 80 年代的女性来说，这是一份非常独立且高权力的工作”。他的父亲 16 岁离开学校，“没有通过 O-level 考试”，成为了一名蓝领工程师。“我真的处于杠铃的两端。”
作为独生子，他敏感、内向，且据他自己描述，“在学校里长期不受欢迎”且“经常被欺负”。板球是他的特长。他的水平之高，以至于纽卡斯尔大学的一位富有同情心的招生导师降低了他的入学要求，以便他能为大学校队效力。
他于 2006 年抵达纽卡斯尔学习商业管理。“很多人来自比我高贵得多的机构：寄宿学校、私立学校。很少有人来自像我这样的背景。”在迎新周让他倾家荡产后，他在定量方法研讨课上与邻居、来自赫尔的卢克·贝茨找到了共同点，后者建议他们尝试为当地夜店派发传单（贝茨至今仍是他的商业伙伴）。
这是威廉姆森在夜店推广这一丰厚职业生涯中的首次尝试。他成为了一家名为 Carnage 的在大学城开展酒吧巡游品牌的区域推广员。“你的 T 恤就是你的门票，背面还有任务 [例如]：与随机的一个人交换鞋子。” 2009 年 10 月，一名穿着该 T 恤的谢菲尔德哈勒姆大学学生在一次活动期间，被拍到在战争纪念碑顶部的罂粟花环上小便。威廉姆森承认，这是一个可耻的片段，也是 Carnage 的一次“该死的头痛”。“T 恤酒吧巡游和那种喧闹的英国文化已被许多因素削弱，”他说，“人们开始关注健康和生活成本。但我认为，事实也是因为你可能会被相机拍到，并永远留在互联网上。”
Carnage 为他赚到了足够的钱，可以用现金支付一个国际硕士
22 《泰晤士杂志》
--。
他曾将伟哥走私进《恋爱岛》别墅，并被评为最佳躯干（他并未服用那些药片）
营销。“八千英镑放在一个匡威鞋盒里，”他说，“把它拍在招生办公室那些女士面前，她们惊恐万分地看着它。”他说他最终对高等教育失去了兴趣。“大学是我当时身处的一条铁轨，但我实际在玩的这场游戏是，我想在商业领域变得卓越。”
到二十五岁左右，他开始在东北部经营自己的活动，并且一年有“30周在伊比萨岛”度过。他是现代的斜杠青年：“DJ、商业男模、推广员——基本上就是你绝不希望出现在未来女婿身上的所有危险信号，”他说。
他将五颗伟哥药片藏在洗漱包的内衬里，走私进了《恋爱岛》的别墅。尽管在一次由女生们将男生身体部位拼接成照片的任务中，他被评为躯干最完美的男舍友，但他没找到药片的用武之地，并在 episode 16 中因为没有“走出自己的壳”而被投票淘汰。他说，这个评价是正确的，但并非暗示的那种含义。他所压抑的“不是缺乏胆量，而是敏感”。他离开时哭了——不是为了那些女孩（“我没有任何浪漫的情感”），而是为了他的“兄弟们”。
三年后，在 2018, 6月，他为自己刚起步的小型播客录制了一集，讲述参加《恋爱岛》的经历。他在其中顺便提到了索菲·格拉登（Sophie Gradon），她是第二季的一名参赛者，他将其描述为“同一类人：有点细心，有点内向，有浓厚的知识兴趣”。他说他知道她一直很挣扎。他以可怕的准确度预言，节目带来的曝光度会造成伤亡。“会有人像我一样参加节目，扮演一个角色……被捧上神坛，然后意识到，该死，游戏结束了，而我无法脱下这身戏服。”在该集节目上线十天后，格拉登自杀身亡。
当我向他提起这件事时，他沉默了。“重新听到这些令人心碎。我手臂上的汗毛都竖起来了，”他说。他认识格拉登，并把她视为朋友。“她是我的一个朋友的女朋友。在那之前的一年，她住在我的后屋。”随后是第三季参赛者迈克·萨拉西蒂斯（Mike Thalassitis）的去世，接着是节目的主持人卡罗琳·弗拉克（Caroline Flack），威廉姆森在社交场合认识她。“对于那些没有做好准备的人来说，这种大规模社交媒体曝光的环境——如果你是那种真正把事情放在心上的人，这太不真实了，太超现实了，”他说。
“因为录了那一集播客，我跟ITV之间所有的桥都烧断了，”他谈到那集节目时说道，该节目是在与广播公司的保密协议到期后立即录制的。但这让《现代智慧》突破了账号变现所需的 1,000 名YouTube订阅者。“那是旧世界向新世界的交接，”他说。在前 800 集中，他“自己寻找每一位嘉宾，撰写每一份脚本，录制每一段广告词，处理每一个音频文件，设计每一个缩略图。直到一个或
全球最受欢迎的 10 大播客
- The Joe Rogan Experience
- The Diary of a CEO by Steven Bartlett
- The Mel Robbins Podcast
- Call Her Daddy by Alex Cooper
- This Past Weekend with Theo Von
- Huberman Lab Andrew Huberman
- Crime Junkie Ashley Flowers
- 《现代智慧》(Modern Wisdom) 克里斯·威廉姆森 (Chris Williamson)
- On Purpose with Jay Shetty
- The Tucker Carlson Show
“凌晨两点，年复一年，如此循环。”
根据贝茨（Betts）的说法，搬到美国是为了“在鱼多的地方钓鱼”。当我问到威廉姆森对乔·罗根（Joe Rogan）的崇拜时——罗根对他而言依然是社交焦虑的“最终BOSS”，即便在现在，罗根的节目仍会让他的心率飙升——我提到了罗根多次为亚历克斯·琼斯（Alex Jones）提供平台，后者是一名阴谋论者，曾告诉桑迪胡克（Sandy Hook）谋杀案受害者的父母，说他们孩子的死亡是伪造的。这是威廉姆森不会逾越的底线吗？他的回答很谨慎。他谈到了“大数定律”——暗示在自己的节目中邀请了这么多嘉宾，难免会出现一些怪人。“总有人相信鸟类不是真实的。总有人相信南极洲不存在。”他并没有正面回答这个问题。他最终表示：“一旦你不断邀请那些在主张和可信度方面存在问题的人回来，那就涉及另一种责任了。”
他没有预料到的是一场个人健康危机，因为他租住的房产被发现布满了霉菌。“我的健康状况恶化了，”他说。“我开始忘词。有一天我低头一看，发现自己忘了怎么系鞋带。我无法忍受积水的味道。我无法忍受割草的味道。我无法忍受瓷器的声音。这全都是神经系统与环境相互作用，被调到了一个极端的敏感状态。”
在过去的两年里，他飞往立陶宛进行自然杀伤细胞输注，前往墨西哥在医院里待了三天，通过颈静脉导管清理血液，并前往维也纳进行他所谓的“全身高热疗法”——将身体强制维持在 40℃ 的温度四个小时，使身体成为微生物无法生存的环境。“两年来我一直承担着两份全职工作，”他说。“一份是应对霉菌，一份是经营节目。”
对于一个凭借推崇自我提升的严苛标准而积累粉丝的人来说，这一章节显得有些矛盾。一方面，这非常符合他的品牌形象：通过从主流医学未必验证过的菜单中精挑细选来实现自我优化。他指出，他可以通过短信联系到各种人物，从专注于“以肌肉为中心的医学”的医生加布里埃尔·里昂（Gabrielle Lyon），到试图每年花费 200万美元 在生物学上逆转衰老的科技百万富翁布莱恩·约翰逊（Bryan Johnson）。
另一方面，他不得不思考自己的极限。“过去两年我对自己非常温柔，”他说。“训练强度降低了，压力减轻了。睡眠时间增加了。”他说，他开始担心自己参与创造的文化已经僵化成了他所谓的“奋斗停滞”（grindstop）。“有时个人成长感觉就像在做作业。你会觉得无论自己多么努力，永远做得不够。”
如果之前的巡演片段具有代表性，那么当 Mostly Wise 巡演在 10 月抵达英国时，演出后的见面会（在伦敦阿波罗剧院起价为 £140）可能会出现一些认为他救了自己生命的人。Ticketmaster 上的一篇评论证明，《现代智慧》是一个“充满慰藉的世界”。
在最近的一集名为“成为父亲在心理上的痛苦代价”的节目中，他采访了临床心理学家达比·萨克斯比（Darby Saxbe）博士。我问威廉姆森是否在未来规划中考虑成为父亲。他回答说，他今年 38 岁且未婚，所以大概会先养一只金毛寻回犬。“我花了很长时间在自我提升上……当那个冒险到来时，我会非常兴奋，”他说。但目前目标很简单：“让人们感到不再那么孤独。” ■
《泰晤士杂志》 23
“我尝试过每一种止痛药和治疗方法，但每一天我都处于令人衰弱的、极度剧烈的痛苦之中”
疼痛一代：为什么这么多年轻人选择在沉默中承受？
经历慢性疼痛的年轻人比例大幅上升——这并不是因为他们变得“软弱”。右图的杰克·伯克（Jack Burke），31岁，长期忍受肩部疼痛，他对此进行了调查
从左至右：杰克·伯克（Jack Burke），由汤姆·杰克逊（Tom Jackson）拍摄；珍妮·童（Jenny Tong），29岁，以及威尔·凯奇波尔（Will Catchpole），31岁，由蒂姆·乔布林（Tim Jobling）拍摄。
造型：苏西·莱斯布里奇（Susie Lethbridge）
故事
TOM HOWLEY
精湛定制厨房
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厨房
泥靴房
步入式食品储藏室
媒体墙
吧台区
更衣室
《泰晤士报》
Eat!
人物特辑
安东尼·波登的
法国经典
一部新电影致敬这位最初的“坏小子”厨师， 他是一个真正的独一无二，而他的食谱证明了这一点
在安东尼·波登成名之前，我毙掉过他的一篇文章。多年后，我依然对此感到后悔，托尼·特本（Tony Turnbull）承认
Tony，昨天上映的这部电影讲述了安东尼·波登青少年时期一个具有决定性意义的夏天，它将这位脾气暴躁的美国厨师介绍给新的观众。在他61岁时于法国拍摄期间自杀已过去八年多。这恰恰表明，这位作家、主持人、反传统者和职业抱怨者，依然能够从天堂厨房门的另一侧吸引我们。
我在他的故事中扮演了一个脚注般的角色。去年出版的《安东尼·波登读本》（The Anthony Bourdain Reader）收录了他一些不为人知的散文和著作，其中一篇关于美国餐厅生活的文章被描述为由《伦敦泰晤士报》委约但因未知原因未发表。现在我可以透露，是的，那个原因就是我。是我毙掉了它。
为自己辩护的话，那是回溯到九十年代中期，当时波登更多地将自己视为一名小说作家，而非纽约餐饮底层世界的记录者。那部讽刺黑手党的小说《喉中之骨》（Bone in the Throat）还算是一本不错的书，但他为了推广该书而写的那篇文章感觉太像业内人士的自说自话，而且坦白说，对于当时仍沉迷于高级餐饮和乡村酒店的英国读者来说，太离谱了，无法引起共鸣。
在2000年他的硬核回忆录《厨房机密》（Kitchen Confidential）获得巨大成功后，我多么后悔那个决定。在那本书中，他描述了专业厨房生活中混乱、药物驱动但又极具纪律性的魅力，令读者在着迷的同时也感到恐惧。它鼓励了一代不合群的人磨快他们的刀，尝试在厨师领域碰碰运气。
波登的极高人气源于他完全没有伪装，以及他那极具磁性的摇滚感。在一个由精致的名厨主导的时代，波登提供了不加掩饰的真相，他赞美一线厨师、洗碗工和街头小吃摊贩，而非高级餐饮。作为一名曾经的海洛因成瘾者，他承认如果不是厨房救了他，他可能会“最终去抢劫酒铺”。
他也是一位讲故事的大师，在《厨师之旅》（A Cook's Tour）和《无保留》（No Reservations）等节目中改变了饮食和旅行的面貌，在这些节目中，他以一种类似于“冈佐”（gonzo）式的热情面对陌生和古怪的事物。“我唯一没吃过的是活猴脑。我不会为了新鲜感而折磨一只猴子，而且我曾
安东尼·波登
前页：ROMAS FOORD, GETTY IMAGES。本页：BOBBY FISHER, BOB GREEN, ROMAS FOORD, GETTY IMAGES
28 《泰晤士杂志》
法式小酒馆经典
“我当时完全不指望它会好吃，”他曾对我这样说过。
这就是波登的特点：每次他开口，说出的话都像是已经成型地倾泻而出。下次我见到他时，他正和我们自己的厨房“坏小子”戈登·拉姆齐在一起。我对他们进行了共同采访，询问他们对员工采取的“严厉之爱”，我必须得说，这位纽约人在这方面在每一个回合都完胜拉姆齐。
“当你责骂你的团队并把他们批得体无完肤时，如果你能做得出色且有风格，确实会有所帮助，”波登用他那毫无起伏的、每天抽60支烟熏出来的男中音说道。“这对接收者和旁观者都很重要。你得发挥一点创意。”
他还喜欢夸大他认为在这个领域不可避免的“街头斗殴”氛围。“有过几次审问相当残酷，”他补充道，语气像托尼·索普拉诺和连姆·尼森的结合体。“那项工作必须完成。我需要立刻击垮某人。而我恰好非常擅长这个。”
另一次，我为了写一篇关于素食主义日益流行文章而给他发邮件，我知道他能提供一个有力的反面观点，以抵消我听到的所有关于爱与宽容的论调。
“素食主义者是恐惧、愤怒且痛苦的人，”他在几秒钟内就回击道。“这总是源于某种创伤性事件——‘我丈夫离开了我’，‘我被解雇了’，‘离婚后我想寻找一些不同的东西’，‘我服用过量的迷幻药’。我经常觉得，如果不是素食主义，也会是某种其他的原教旨主义信仰，而我讨厌任何形式的正统主义。如果我发现某人是素食主义者，就像你在约会时回到女孩的公寓，她去洗手间，于是你翻看她的唱片收藏，结果看到了比利·乔尔的完整全集——当她走出洗手间时，我就已经不在那儿了。”
所以，他是一个文字大师，也是一个行动派，而且是个行家里手，尤其是在经典法餐方面。他在童年去法国旅行期间培养了对美食的热情。1978年从美国烹饪学院毕业后，他在纽约厨房的高压前线奋斗了二十年，直到1998年他在曼哈顿的法式小酒馆 Brasserie Les Halles 担任执行主厨，找到了自己的归宿，并在那里工作了接下来的四年。
你可以通过这些食谱亲自感受他的热情，这些食谱摘自他在那里工作期间撰写的书籍《Les Halles Cookbook》，出版于2004年。他引导读者完成从洋葱汤到马德拉酱小牛舌的所有步骤，全程贯穿着他标志性的知识、热情以及潜藏的威胁感。
1. 普罗旺斯蔬菜汤 (SOUPE AU PISTOU)
6人份（见背面）。总时长：2小时，另加浸泡时间
一种与意式蔬菜汤（minestrone）类似的法式蔬菜汤。Pistou 与青酱（pesto）相似。
225克白豆（斑豆、大北方豆或塔贝豆均可） 28毫升橄榄油 - 2瓣大蒜，切薄片（像《好家伙》电影里那样） 1个中型洋葱，切小丁 450克去籽、切碎的新鲜熟番茄 2根韭葱，彻底洗净并切成6毫米厚的片 - 2个小西葫芦，切小丁（记得只使用西葫芦和黄南瓜的外层部分。不要使用种子腔；将其扔掉） 2个小黄南瓜，切小丁 - 1个茴香球茎，切小丁 - 900毫升清鸡汤或肉汤 - 1束香料束 (bouquet garni) - 75克通心粉
普罗旺斯青酱 (Pistou)
- 1把新鲜罗勒叶，摘除茎部，洗净晾干
- 6瓣大蒜 120毫升特级初榨橄榄油 112克帕玛森芝士碎
器材
大号厚底锅，木勺，汤勺，研钵和研杵（如果你懒到无可救药，也可以用食物处理机）
第一步
在制作汤的前一天，将豆类浸泡在充足的冷水中 24 小时。既然时间充裕，你可以在此时考虑自己熬制鸡汤。
《泰晤士杂志》
29
尽情享用！安东尼·波登
第二天
- 放点音乐。将豆类沥干并冲洗，然后放入水或鸡汤中煮至接近熟透——也就是说中心仍有一点硬。请不要把豆子煮成糊状。准备好后，用冷水沥干并冲洗以停止烹饪。将其放在一旁，稍后会用到。完成所有的刀工准备，即切丁、切片等等。
-
现在我们准备开始实际的烹饪了。对吧？东西都齐了？有条理地摆放好准备好的食材。你的“准备工作 (meez)”都做好了吗？开始吧……
-
在大号厚底锅中加热橄榄油。油热后，加入大蒜和洋葱，用小火炒几分钟以激发香味。当洋葱开始变透明时，加入其余蔬菜，继续用小火翻炒（出汗法），直到稍微变软。加入鸡汤或肉汤以及香料束 (bouquet garni)，用大火快速煮沸，然后立即调低火力，使其保持温和的微沸状态。加入通心粉，继续微沸直到接近煮熟。放入豆类。在微沸过程中偶尔搅拌，
记得用汤勺不断撇除、撇除、撇除浮沫和泡沫。
-
在汤微沸时，制作青酱 (pistou)。用研钵和研杵将罗勒和大蒜一起研磨捣碎，直到变成泥状糊状物。用叉子缓慢地少量多次地加入橄榄油。最后拌入帕马森芝士。用盐和胡椒调味。我想，你也可以偷懒用食物处理器来做；很多，如果不是绝大多数的话，餐厅可能都是这么做的。但那样是不正确的。
-
大约 30 分钟后，当汤准备好时（意味着通心粉和豆类已煮熟但没有变成糊状或过火，仍保持其结构完整），搅拌入青酱，根据口味加入盐和胡椒，立即上桌。
2. 红油黄油煎伪菲力 (FAUX-FILET AU BEURRE ROUGE)
4 人份。总耗时：1小时 15 分钟
- 110ml 红葡萄酒
- 1 个干葱头，切细末
- 225g 黄油，软化
- 1 枝平叶欧芹，切细末
- 4 块 225g 纽约客牛排（修剪过的西冷牛排）
- 1 茶匙油
设备
小锅，搅拌碗，食物处理器，橡胶刮刀，保鲜膜，刷子，户外烤架或烤盘
制作红酒黄油
- 在小锅中，将葡萄酒和干葱头混合，用大火煮沸。煮至葡萄酒几乎完全挥发，注意不要让干葱头烧焦。将混合物转移到搅拌碗中冷却。在食物处理器中，加入软化黄油、干葱头红酒混合物、欧芹，并根据口味加入盐和胡椒。充分混合。
- 用橡胶刮刀将黄油从食物处理器中刮出，放在一大块保鲜膜的中心。轻轻将其塑造成直径 1 英寸的圆柱体，像卷烟——或卷寿司一样进行塑形、挤压和滚动。别担心——你不会搞砸的。它就像橡皮泥：你随时可以重新来过。塑形正确后，将保鲜膜两端紧紧拧住，放入冰箱冷藏，直到黄油足够坚硬可以切片。
烹饪并供应牛排
在烹饪前 10 分钟将牛排从冰箱中取出。用盐和胡椒为牛排调味。在牛排表面轻刷一层油。将其烧烤，或在烤盘中煎至所需的熟度。在上桌前，在每块牛排上放一片红酒黄油。
30 《泰晤士杂志》
摄影 Romas Foord
尽情享用！安东尼·波登
2
《泰晤士杂志》 31
3
3. 格勒诺布尔式鳐鱼 (SKATE GRENOBLOISE)
Serves 2. 总时长：20 min
鳐鱼长期以来被认为是“垃圾鱼”，但它实际上是真正顶级的海鲜食材之一：肉质嫩、味道甜、口感好，而且价格便宜。这就是为什么许多厨师热衷于将其作为特供菜品。去除那层厚实且像橡胶一样的皮很麻烦，所以请让鱼贩帮你处理好……
- 56g 面粉
- 2 块 鳐鱼翅，去皮去骨
- 4 tbsp 黄油
- 1 tbsp 酸豆 (capers)
- 112g 面包丁
- 1 个 柠檬，取汁
- 1 枝 平叶欧芹，切碎
- 1 个 柠檬，去皮、去籽并切成瓣（可选）
设备
浅碗、煎锅、鱼铲或带孔铲、盛菜盘
准备
将面粉放入浅碗中，加入盐和胡椒调味。将鱼肉裹上面粉，抖掉多余部分。再次在鱼肉上撒盐和胡椒调味。
烹饪
在煎锅中，用中高火加热 1 tbsp 黄油。当黄油起泡并消退时，放入鱼肉。
© Anthony Bourdain, 2004. Recipes extracted from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook: Strategies, Recipes, and Techniques of Classic Bistro Cooking, published by Bloomsbury
用大火烹饪 2 分钟。再加入 1 tbsp 黄油并翻面，另一面烹饪 2 分钟。将鱼肉转移到盛菜盘中。
完成
倒掉锅中的黄油，然后加入剩余的 2 tbsp 黄油。用大火加热至起泡并消退，然后加入酸豆和面包丁。烹饪 30 秒，随后加入柠檬汁和欧芹。（此时也可以加入柠檬瓣。）离火，将酱汁淋在鱼肉上。
4. 诺曼底式贻贝 (MOULES NORMANDE)
Serves 4. 总时长：1hr
- 112g 厚切培根，切成 1cm 见方的丁
- 4 tbsp 黄油
- 1 个 意式小葱 (shallot)，切薄片
- 6 个 小白蘑菇，切薄片
- 半个 苹果，去核、去皮并切成小丁或块
- 75ml 高品质卡尔瓦多斯白兰地 (calvados)
- 225ml 浓奶油
- 2.7kg 贻贝，刷洗并去除须根（烹饪前处理）
设备
小锅、带盖大锅、木勺
烹饪
- 在小锅中，用中高火烹饪培根，直到肉色棕红且油脂析出，约 10 分钟，期间偶尔搅拌以防粘锅。倒掉油脂，保留肉丁。
- 在大锅中，加热黄油至起泡。加入意式小葱，烹饪至变软，约 3 分钟。加入蘑菇和苹果，烹饪 5 分钟，然后倒入卡尔瓦多斯白兰地，用木勺刮锅底，将粘在上面的棕色焦香物质刮下来。拌入浓奶油，用盐和胡椒调味。
- 待混合物沸腾后，加入贻贝并盖盖。烹饪 10 分钟，或直到所有贻贝全部张开。摇晃锅身。再烹饪 1 分钟。再次摇晃。立即上桌。
5. 阿尔萨斯式塔 (TARTE ALSACIENNE)
Serves 8. 总时长：2hr
- 3 tbsp 黄油
- 75g 糖
- 4 个 金冠美味苹果 (Golden Delicious)，去皮、去核并切成 1cm 厚的片
- 4 个 鸡蛋
- 110ml 牛奶
- 110ml 浓奶油
- 1 tsp 香草精
- 1 x 25cm 预烘焙短crust派皮壳
32 The Times Magazine
设备
2 个 烤盘，2 张 烘焙纸，大搅拌碗，打蛋器，小炖锅
准备苹果
将烤箱预热至 150℃。在烤盘上铺上烘焙纸，并在纸上抹 1 tbsp 黄油。在纸上撒 1 tbsp 糖，将苹果片排列在纸上，确保互不重叠。将剩余的 2 tbsp 黄油切成极小块，点缀在苹果片上。在苹果上再撒 1 tbsp 糖，放入烤箱烘烤约 40 分钟，或直到苹果变软但仍保持形状。从烤箱中取出并晾凉。
准备卡仕达酱
在搅拌碗中，将鸡蛋和剩余的糖混合并搅拌均匀。在小炖锅中，将牛奶、奶油和香草精混合并煮沸。将此混合液移离火源，缓慢地将其加入鸡蛋混合液中，不断搅拌直到完全融合且混合液略微变稠。
组装
将烤箱温度调至 180℃。在另一个烤盘上铺上羊皮纸，并将派皮放在上面。将苹果片以圆形图案排列在派皮中。苹果应填满派壳。将烤箱架向外拉出一半，将烤盘和派皮放在架子上。现在，小心地将卡仕达混合液倒入派皮中，填至顶部但不要过满。小心地将架子推回烤箱，烘烤至卡仕达酱凝固，约 25 分钟。食用前静置 15 分钟。■
《泰晤士杂志》 33
代际之痛（接第 25 页）
当我从麻醉中苏醒时，医生正站在我身边，而我后来得知，这绝非好兆头。
“恐怕情况比我们想象的要糟糕，”他阴沉地说道。截肢？他们手术做错手臂了吗？
“我们在肩关节里放入了摄像头。按照一到四级的标准，”他说，“一级是软骨完美的健康关节，四级是完全没有软骨，骨头直接磨骨头 [他停顿了一下，像《Deal or No Deal》节目中的 Stephen Mulhern 那样]，你是四级。”
我咽了口唾沫。
“这或许能解释为什么这些年来你一直如此痛苦。”
曾经，“关节炎”这个词会让我想起那些指关节肿大、费力地打开钱包的退休老人，但事实证明，它在任何年龄都可能发作。我 31 岁，患有肩关节炎，这是反复脱臼和手术失败留下的后遗症。
第一次发生时很可笑。我在大学时洗澡时滑倒了，据我所知，这在年轻男性中是一种出乎意料的常见受伤。而且一旦在那个韧带松弛的年纪肩关节出了问题，它就会一直出问题。
我被送去进行了常规手术并完全康复，但几年后在踢足球比赛时再次将其撞碎。在公园里的一次碰撞导致一个大块头压在我的修复肩上，将其脱出并撞裂了关节窝的前端。我被救护车鸣笛紧急送往急诊室（A&E）——并再次进行了重建手术。
但疼痛从未消失。事实上，——我并非轻率地说出这话——它在经济、情感和身体上给我的代价，比五年前的睾丸癌还要大。癌症伴随着一个计划：手术、化疗，以及一个充满希望的终点。而肩膀除了不确定性外什么也没有提供，在很长一段时间里，这种不确定性造成的伤害比诊断结果本身还要大。一种对未来的想象被剥夺了。我会发现自己在公园里看着年轻的父亲们举起他们的孩子，感到一阵刺痛，并深信这对我也将永远不可能，从而折磨自己。
我在一名又一名外科医生、一名又一名理疗师之间像乒乓球一样被传回传去，每个人对于为什么仍然疼痛都有不同的理论：紧绷、僵硬、关节损伤、神经痛。我经历了一系列手术，试图解决一个在经历了这一切之后依然无法解决的问题。现在，这个关节成了需要被“管理”而非被“修复”的对象。
这种疼痛将伴随我余生。而且事实证明，我并不孤单。在年轻人中，慢性疼痛正在增加。最近的一次全国审计，即 2024 英国健康调查（Health Survey for England）发现，略高于四分之一的成年人承受着某种慢性疼痛，而这一数字在 约 12% 左右。
我的肩痛比患癌时更糟糕——无论是情感上还是身体上
25岁以下人群，并随着十年又十年的岁月流逝，在75岁以上人群中攀升至 40%。
但那些疼痛严重到足以干扰工作、人际关系和日常生活的年轻人的比例大幅上升，从五分之一增加到三分之一——这是唯一出现如此激增的年龄组。
没有人能就原因达成一致。这仅仅是一个前所未有的自我监测时代吗？或者正如一位外科医生对我所说，是我们变得“软弱了，以至于任何与无痛状态的轻微偏差都会被注意到并被抓住不放”？还是说，21世纪的生活中有什么特殊之处，使得这一代人比前几代人承受更多的痛苦？
约书亚·费恩-布朗（Joshua Fein-Brown）肯定认为如此。他今年 34 岁，是一名整骨医生和疼痛治疗师，在 NHS 慢性疼痛服务部门和自己的私人诊所之间分配时间。他认为这种增长可以用现代生活来解释，现代生活“极大地改变了我们使用身体的方式。我们大多处于久坐状态，长时间从事重复性任务。”他说，当我们进行锻炼时，我们会自己在健身房拼命，或者穿着海绵跑鞋在人行道上奔跑。这就是现在年轻且健康的人的生活方式：整天对着电脑，但两端则是极端的运动——马拉松、Hyrox、CrossFit。
他说，在这一切之下，潜藏着两个被误导但可以理解的假设。“一个，”他论证道，“是每种疾病都有治愈方法。第二个是，我们被构建得完美无缺，我们的身体是为了健康而设计的。事实并非如此。我们的许多生物学设计得相当糟糕。”
但这一代人是在可优化健康文化、健身应用以及“身体是一个有解决方案的问题”的信念中成长起来的。去看全科医生（GP），拿一颗药或一份转诊单，问题就解决了。你在不知不觉中习得，疼痛是一种需要被纠正的暂时状态。
“疼痛是身体的尖叫，”费恩-布朗说，“而我们已经忘记了如何倾听。”
当你将这种倾听外包给一个小装置时，费恩-布朗对此有一个称呼：“Whoopitis”（Whoop病），这是一种被永久过度监测者的病症，是以流行的可穿戴健身追踪器 Whoop 命名的。我们培养出了一代精通自身数据但对自身感觉文盲的人，而年轻人则在疑惑自己为什么疼痛。
皇家自由医院（Royal Free Hospital）的疼痛顾问安东尼·奥德曼（Anthony Ordman）博士表示，不仅是我们的身体变得沉默，我们围绕身体的生活也是如此。我们的社交减少了，曾经支撑我们的社区已经萎缩到几乎消失。这一点至关重要，因为孤独与疼痛之间的联系并非推测。
奥德曼在走进他诊室的人群中看到了这一点。“有一个子群体，”他告诉我，“那些有社交困难的人，没有朋友或家庭网络，且通常从未工作过。他们似乎会患上各种形式的长期疼痛。”
关于社交连接作为镇痛剂的研究正日益增多。“我们倾向于更多地生活在屏幕背后，”奥德曼说，“这正在切断那些连接。”在手机陪伴下成长的一代是最孤独的一代，而且看来，也是疼痛最深的一代。
那么，我们为什么以及如何感受到疼痛？这是一个比听起来更复杂的问题，为了回答这个问题，我找到了牛津大学副校长、疼痛神经科学家艾琳·特雷西（Irene Tracey）教授。她花了 35 年时间让人们进入扫描仪，观察他们感受疼痛的过程。
“疼痛，在最基础的层面上，是我们最古老的感官和情感
34 《泰晤士杂志》
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“就像被一把刀从背后捅了一刀”
西多妮·威尔逊（Sidonie Wilson），33岁，讲述18个月前的一次运动损伤如何令医学专家们感到困惑
我曾经认为自己的痛阈很高。因为有个哥哥，我常开玩笑说这让我有了很好的锻炼。现在每当有人给我打针时，我几乎都不会眨眼。然而，疼痛恰恰是在过去的18个月里彻底颠覆我生活的东西。
去年二月，我在打网球时伤到了背部。当时并没有剧烈的弹响或沉重的跌落，但在一场激烈的竞技比赛结束后几小时，我的背部开始僵硬。几周之内，我陷入了一种令人衰弱且瘫痪般的剧痛之中，导致我无法行走。扫描很快显示 L4-5 纤维环撕裂——这是一种常见的椎间盘损伤，运动医生向我保证，这种情况在我的年龄段（我33岁）非常普遍，尤其是那些平时一周都蜷缩在办公桌前，周末又投身于剧烈运动的人。
但我的经历毫无“普遍”之处。疼痛根本没有消失。相反，它开启了一场由类固醇注射、神经阻滞、物理治疗和针灸组成的艰苦循环。我尝试了一切方法：冷冻疗法、LED 和红外线治疗，连续几个月在躯干上绑着一个小热水袋，以及将 Tens 机器贴在皮肤上。我让自己沉溺于由可待因、萘普生和地西泮组成的强效药物组合中，但没有任何效果。
根据英国国家医疗服务体系（NHS）的定义，慢性疼痛是指任何持续时间超过三个月的疼痛。极其不幸的是，这恰恰是我医疗保险停止支付扫描和就诊费用的时间点，因为我的病情已经从急性转为慢性。也就是说：成了一个没救的病例。
慢性疼痛悄悄地潜入你日常生活的每一个角落，直到起床都感觉像要攀登一座不可能逾越的高山。去年年底，在绝望之中，我尝试了医生所谓的“断路器”方案，请了几个月的假，让我的背部以及我的神经系统进行重置。
没有任何效果。我依然在不舒服的夜晚平躺着，翻阅医学期刊，拼命寻找一条尚未被探索的途径。我甚至发现自己希望扫描结果能显示出一根断骨，仅仅是为了能有一些物理证据来证明我的感受。相反，面对这种持续不断的剧痛，我却拿不出任何证据，而这种感觉就像腰部被一把浸过打火机油的刀捅了一刀。
处于持续的疼痛之中令人精疲力竭。大多数日子里，我剩余的能量被穿衣和去上班这些简单的行为完全消耗殆尽。我强迫自己继续坚持，低声对自己说这种情况不可能永远持续下去。当我的决心动摇时，我的伴侣会用同样鼓励的话语支持我。
但随着时间的推移，我能感觉到我们两人都变得疲惫不堪。这让我们在谈论未来时，如果不加上“等我的背好起来”这个前提就无法进行，并且推迟了那些三十多岁的朋友们正在进行的重大人生规划。
疼痛变成了一种全方位的疾病；你无法与伴侣思考或谈论除此之外的任何事情，但你又敏锐地意识到，它正在你们之间制造隔阂。它自然而然地扼杀了亲密感。没有什么比这更不性感了：当你伴侣试图在床上搂住你时，却被问到背部是否疼痛，或者整天在 1 到 10 的量表上给自己的痛苦打分。
除了身体上的损耗，看着自己的身体在无法阻止的情况下发生变化，还带来了心理上的沉重压力。曾经肌肉紧实的地方，现在我看到的只有一副走形的身躯。心理上的斗争则更为糟糕。疼痛让我想要逃离这个世界。
人们不再询问你的近况。我已经厌倦了谈论我的背部，所以我当然不指望其他人会问。在状态好的一天，我也许能勉强进行一次温和的游泳；而大多数日子里，我的活动仅限于步行去上班。回想起以前在 Barry's Bootcamp 疯狂奔跑在跑步机上的日子，我简直不敢相信。我知道与某些人相比我很幸运——我告诉自己情况可能会更糟——但这个想法并没有让事情变得更容易。
《泰晤士杂志》 35
“……经历，”她告诉我，“这是一个教学信号。你可能不记得第一次把手指伸进蜡烛里的感觉，但你肯定不会再做第二次。”
疼痛并非像我们所有人假设的那样，是在疼痛发生的地方被感知到的。我们的细胞无法直接与我们的意识沟通；它们根本不“感觉”任何东西。它们只能通过神经系统发送信号——这是对压力、热量或炎症化学物质的反应——发送到大脑，由大脑读取信息并决定是否制造我们称之为“疼痛”的东西，以及制造多少。
证明就在于损伤与疼痛的匹配程度之低。“损伤与感知之间存在非线性关系，”特雷西说，“你的腿可能被砍掉了一半，但几乎感觉不到任何东西，因为身体屏蔽了信号以便你能逃脱。而你可能完全没有受伤，仅仅是因为恐惧或预期，电路就会开启并给你带来完整的疼痛体验。巨大的伤口，没有疼痛；没有伤口，却极度痛苦——以及两者之间的一切情况。”
疼痛与其说是发生在你身上的一件事，不如说是你的大脑为你做的一件事，主要是为了让你生存下去。
但大脑永远不是中立的。“这取决于你的基准线、你的情绪，以及浸没在大脑中的化学物质，”伦敦一家诊所的整骨医生埃莉莎·布拉托（Elisa Burato）说道，“如果你是一个习惯于将事情灾难化的人，或者是一个积极乐观的人，这会改变疼痛严重程度的整个等式。”
情绪、过去的创伤和生活压力都会调高这个刻度。奥德曼（Ordman）已经看到情绪创伤和童年创伤如何使人们更容易患上长期疼痛疾病。在特雷西的扫描图中，一个焦虑、压力巨大的大脑像拉斯维加斯一样闪烁，而一个处于中立状态的大脑在面对同等疼痛输入时，看起来更像斯劳（Slough）。
布拉托还指出了反安慰剂效应（nocebo effect），它是安慰剂效应的邪恶双胞胎。她曾观察到从业者在开具发票时利用这一点：“我们需要拍X光，我们需要做核磁共振，你需要再来看我三次，”她说道，模仿着缓慢升级的惊恐感，“这创造了一个焦虑的反馈循环，我可以保证，这个人的疼痛感知将会飙升。”
特雷西说，这就是大多数人以及大多数医学界都搞错的地方。“慢性疼痛不仅仅是一个症状。旧的模型——即如果你修复了诱因，疼痛就会消失——并没有奏效。这就是为什么这么多人承受了 20, 30, 40 年的疼痛。对于越来越多的病症来说，慢性疼痛本身就是一种疾病。”
威尔·卡奇波尔（Will Catchpole）是一名来自诺福克的 31 岁体育教师兼硕士研究生。他在迪拜打橄榄球时 22 岁，身体健康，但一次头部撞击在两天后对他产生了影响。他在凌晨四点醒来
“慢性疼痛会吞噬你的生活。除非你亲身经历过，否则人们对此会有极其严重的评判”
他当时在尖叫，不知道自己在哪里，也不知道自己是谁，处于极度迷茫之中，以至于他寄宿的朋友冲进来时，坚信自己正目睹一个人死去。医院排除了脑出血，这本应是个好消息。然而，结果却是没有任何可指出的病灶，也没有任何可以修复的地方，只有一句他会随时间好转的安慰话。
但他没有好转。疼痛从未离开。它潜伏在他的眼后，阵阵跳动——不完全像偏头痛，也不完全像任何有名称的疾病。脑雾日益浓厚，直到句子在思考中途便消失不见。疲劳感让整天的时间都变得毫无意义。
Catchpole不得不放弃平面设计——这是他接受培训的职业——因为屏幕会让情况变得更糟。他搬回了诺里奇，回到了童年时代的卧室，并在那里度过了将近两年的时间，大部分时间都卧床不起。
比这一切更糟糕的是孤独感。“你仿佛漂浮在一个独立的宇宙中，”他说，“而其他所有人都在正常地生活。”自从这件事发生后，他就无法维持一段恋爱关系。
医生们越来越困惑，在诊断中摸索。最终，是Catchpole打破了这种循环，而不是医生。“我停止了就医，因为尝试不同的药物反而让我情况恶化。我觉得这在扼杀我的进步，而不是在帮助我。”
他贪婪地阅读并寻找治疗方法：眼动脱敏与再处理疗法（EMDR）；饮食；呼吸法；以及最终发现一个名为Curable的应用程序，该程序基于疼痛的神经科学构建，由三位同样患有慢性疼痛的人创立。其中包含少量的冥想、可视化、日志记录和认知行为疗法（CBT）。“那大概是我自始以来取得最大进步的时刻。”
这引导他尝试了磁刺激疗法，并自费前往澳大利亚的一家诊所。那里的一次扫描将他的大脑连接情况与数千名从未受过伤的人进行了对比。结果显示，他的神经系统陷入了警戒状态，无法找回原有的基准线，而是在时刻准备应对同样情况的再次发生。“它在保护你，”他说，“通过给你带来如此剧烈的疼痛，让你让自己留在安全的地方。”
这一切都没有让疼痛消失。“八年过去了，它依然每天、每时每刻都在，”他说。改变的是他与疼痛的关系。随之而来的是，疼痛最令人衰弱的影响得到了某种程度的缓解。
如今，他担任一名体育老师，正在攻读心理学硕士学位，并与那家澳大利亚诊所合作，帮助其他患者引导康复。“在过去的八年里，我学到的东西可能比以往任何时候都多，”他说。“我不希望任何人经历这一切。但某种共同经历带来的东西是无法复制的。”
当其他医生无法给出解释时，我被转诊给了西蒙·兰伯特（Simon Lambert）教授。在所有外科医生中，他为我拓宽对疼痛为何变为慢性疼痛的理解所做的贡献最多。
“在我们注意力被吸引到某个关节之前，我们谁都不会意识到关节的存在，”他告诉我。当一个关节受损时，大脑——本质上是一台预测机器——会匆忙解释这种变化，且通常能解释正确。但当疼痛持续存在时，预测本身就变质了。大脑开始预期疼痛，为此做准备，去寻找疼痛，无论它是否依然存在。在这种过程中，神经通路变得过度敏感，就像沙发底座经过多年使用而被压出凹痕一样被强化了。
我意识到，我的肩膀之所以如此棘手，原因之一是它承载了象征意义。就在2020年后期我因再次受伤而康复期间，我被诊断出患有睾丸癌。在经历了六个月的化疗，以及另外六个月缓解最严重的副作用之后，我得到了痊愈通知，并被告知继续生活。但肩膀拒绝好转。
它成了我的关注焦点，一个关于脆弱性的痛苦提醒。我会在深夜躺在床上寻找那种疼痛，将肩膀强行扭转到其有限活动范围的极限，仿佛在向自己证明：没错，疼痛依然在。
我唯一想做的就是恢复正常，将疼痛的世界和诊室留在身后。但肩膀——那无休止的钝痛以及对其成因的迷茫——将我拖住了。我一直在寻找一个始终没有出现的解决方法。
当我采访 29 岁的运动员珍妮·汤（Jenny Tong）时，她告诉我，在近十年的时间里，她一直在寻找同样的解决方法，而且她陷入黑暗的程度比我深得多。
珍妮并非一直是一名运动员。16 岁时，她是布里特学校（Brit School）的一名学生，拿着假身份证，在周末轻松出入夜总会。运动是她最不关心的事情。后来她上了大学，她说当时想要“重新与我的身体建立联系”。她偶然走进一个体育博览会，看到了举重摊位，拿起了一根杠铃，从此围绕着它重新规划了自己的生活。
几个月内，她的身体开始崩溃。受伤清单很长：膝盖、背部、髋部，以及一个从未修复的前十字韧带（ACL）。
THE JOB NO. WILL WEAR TO THE SHRT MANAGING PROCESS JENNY WEAVER, DREW, NORWOOD SCHOOL, BUCKS, MANAGING PROCESS.COM
36 《泰晤士杂志》
显然的问题是，为什么她坚持继续。“我爱上了因为运动而变成的那个自己，”她说，“我遇到了一个此前从未意识到存在的自我版本。”于是她采取了必要的恢复措施——尽管只是暂时的——并继续坚持。
有一天在健身房背部受伤时，最让汤感到恐惧的并非她的运动生涯。“我的第一个念头不是‘我还能举重吗？’而是‘如果我以后不能和想象中的未来的狗在公园里跑步怎么办？或者在没有疼痛的情况下抱起想象中的未来的孩子怎么办？’未来是我最担心的事情。你多年来一直被告知你是能干的，而你也相信这一点。慢性疼痛改变的不仅是你与身体的关系，还有你与自己的关系。”
如今，她时刻处于疼痛之中。“我不知道身体某个部位一小时没有疼痛是什么感觉，即使在休息时也是如此。”一周又一周，她出入于整骨医生和物理治疗师之间。“慢性疼痛不仅仅是疼痛，”她说，“它是一项行政事务，而且非常昂贵。”
那么，当医学不再是答案时，还能做些什么？
如果疼痛是由大脑构建、由大脑预测、由大脑放大并锁定的，那么理解心态并改变态度可以产生可衡量的效果。
特雷西（Tracey）教授对此非常强调。她有扫描结果作为支撑。“科学表明，疼痛在你的脑海中，”她说，“你拥有这些非凡的系统，可以让情况变得更糟或更好。如果你不接受这一点，你就错过了关键的一半。坦率地说，这些机制比任何药物都更强大。”
她说，患者讨厌被告知这一点，因为他们将其听成是对他们“在编造”的指责。但脑成像技术的伟大之处在于它能回应这种指责。特雷西的扫描结果可以向患者证明，积极的心态是开启身体天然药柜的一种方式。接受疼痛，改变对待疼痛的态度，做你热爱的事情——“这些会触发与安慰剂相同的电路，释放身体的止痛药。我们称之为‘自上而下的调节’（top-down modulation）。”
然而，几乎每个人首先寻找的是治愈方法。奥德曼（Ordman）看着他们来到他的诊所，而此时他们已经跑遍了该行业的一半从业者。他称他们为“医生购物者”，这些人将把一生花在“对一个永远不会到来的解决方法的永恒寻找”上。
相反，他将“疼痛”与“痛苦”区分开来。疼痛是信号。而痛苦是你围绕信号编织的故事，是你想象的未来。他可以通过注射、运动和时间在一定程度上解决疼痛，但仅限于某个限度。
剩下的工作需要由患者来完成。“最好的物理治疗师，”他说，“是那些在不告诉任何人的情况下，同时进行心理治疗的人。”
费恩-布朗对我进行了心理引导。在第一次面诊中，他花时间去理解为什么这种疼痛会产生如此强烈的情感共鸣。他让我停止去“寻找”疼痛，而是去寻找那些不会产生痛感的活动范围。他甚至让我给疼痛写一封信，这在以前我可能会嗤之以鼻，但结果却起到了一种宣泄作用。
“当你总是陷入‘修复自己’的执念中时，情况会变得更糟，”费恩-布朗说，“当你将注意力从‘修复事物’上移开时，情况反而会好转。”
在年轻时很难接受身体上的局限。但一旦我重新定义了这次受伤，“疼痛”就变得不再那么剧烈。如果你学会不再为其提供氧气，疼痛的火焰燃烧得就不会那么猛烈。
这确实仍让我觉得自己比以前更虚弱，不再那么“强而有力”。我的躯干有一种像卡西莫多般的失衡感。但我已经不再为此抱怨了。很大程度上是因为，人们对长期疼痛者的同情心是有限的。
在我与特蕾西交谈快结束时，她说：“人们需要理解。疼痛会吞噬你的生活、你的身份，以及你前行和享受事物的能力。除非你亲身经历过，否则我们对他人的疼痛往往带有严重的评判色彩。我最希望人们知道的一点是，这很艰难，很复杂，且具有毁灭性，我们应该对此更加宽容。” ■
《泰晤士杂志》 37
1935年纽伦堡集会上，米基·伯恩与尤妮蒂·米特福德
1950年的奥黛丽·赫本
1936年，米基·伯恩加入《泰晤士报》，在奥地利、南斯拉夫和匈牙利进行报道。他是一个华丽的双性恋者，曾是纳粹同情者，后来成为了坚定的共产主义者，既是战争英雄，也是科尔迪茨战俘营的囚犯。他救了奥黛丽·赫本的命，并且曾是盖伊·伯吉斯的情人。
他是否也可能是一名间谍？
性、谎言与秘密：米基·伯恩的非凡人生
作者：本·麦金泰尔
米基·伯恩，由 Scott Van Osdol 于 2016 年拍摄
上周，我收到了一份四页长的未发表文档，由米基·伯恩（Micky Burn）在四十年前写就。他是曾在《泰晤士报》工作过的最古怪且最有趣的记者之一。
伯恩于 1936 年加入本报，战后成为本报驻奥地利、南斯拉夫和匈牙利的特派员。他是一位出色的记者和作家，同时也是一名张扬的双性恋者、小说家、剧作家和诗人，一名获得勋章的战争英雄及科尔迪茨（Colditz）战俘，一个曾同情纳粹后转而成为坚定共产主义者的人。他可能救过年轻的奥黛丽·赫本的命，最终却在威尔士成为一名失败的贻贝养殖户。
在这份写于 1987 年的文档中，伯恩描述了他与外交官、KGB 双面间谍以及所谓“剑桥五人组”间谍环成员盖伊·伯吉斯（Guy Burgess）之间漫长且波折的恋情。伯恩的叙述是对 30 年代同性恋生活的卓越描绘，同时也揭露了苏联情报部门曾蓄意地试图招募本报记者担任间谍。
“在俄罗斯人可能的特工目标中，《泰晤士报》具有极高的优先级，甚至高于外交部，”伯恩写道。
KGB 在英国建制派内部安插了共产主义间谍：“剑桥五人组”中的三人是外交官，一人是 M16 官员，另一人则是著名的艺术史学家及国王 / 女王画作的鉴定员。但根据伯恩的说法，其首要目标是《泰晤士报》。莫斯科希望将其特工安插在英国无可争议的“记录之报”内部。而且，他们成功了。
金·菲尔比（Kim Philby）可能是历史上最臭名昭著的双面间谍，他在苏联上线指令下于 1937 年加入《泰晤士报》，随后报道了西班牙内战和敦刻尔克撤退。另一名 招募的人员哈里·斯莫莱特（Harry Smollett）是本报战后驻维也纳的特派员。根据一本新书，1977 年在开罗被神秘谋杀的《泰晤士报》及《星期日泰晤士报》记者大卫·霍尔登（David Holden）可能曾是为 工作的双面间谍。出生于澳大利亚的记者威尔弗雷德·伯切特（Wilfred Burchett）在战后期间为《泰晤士报》报道东欧，后来被认定为 的线人。
伯吉斯本人在战前通过在国内新闻编辑部担任副编辑的试用期，设法进入了
《泰晤士报》。他为人鲁莽、机智、邋遢、体味重且通常处于醉酒状态，在成为《泰晤士报》员工后仅坚持了 26 天，便因能力不足被解雇。
作为一名共产主义者和资深的《泰晤士报》记者，伯恩显然是 的目标。在笔记中，伯恩声称伯吉斯从未公开尝试招募他当间谍，但显然在评估他的爱人是否可以作为“剑桥间谍环”以及本报 特工名单的新成员。伯恩注意到，“他时不时会以一种神秘的方式提到秘密情报局。是否愿意在巴黎之余，也在斯德哥尔摩从事间谍活动……？”他还极力赞美伯恩的写作，这可能表明“他将我视为招募对象”。
伯吉斯于 1933 年在剑桥的一次五月舞会上首次见到伯恩，并迅速诱惑了他。伯吉斯比他大一岁半，当时正处于三一学院的最后一年，
在那里他结识了菲尔比和安东尼·布朗特（Anthony Blunt）。三人都是秘密的共产主义者，两年后被苏联情报部门招募。
伯恩被伯吉斯迷住了。“他非常才华横溢，幽默且善于社交，”他在关于两人关系的叙述中写道。“他走过来邀请我回他的房间。我大部分时间都和他在一起，然后爬出去重新加入那些邀请我来剑桥的女孩们。”就这样，一段断断续续的恋情开始了，直到 1951 年伯吉斯与同行间谍唐纳德·麦克林（Donald Maclean）一起叛逃至俄罗斯。
当他遇到伯吉斯时，伯恩刚刚因为完全不学习而被牛津大学开除（不过他确实抽时间为赛车冠军蒂姆·伯金代写了自传）。作为国王律师的儿子，伯恩在白金汉宫对面的一栋恩赐房中长大。他风流倜傥，英俊且天真，据他自己所述，
“我现在住在城堡里，就像那些上流人士一样，”他在科尔迪茨写信给父母时这样写道
伯恩被德军俘虏，并秘密做出 V 字胜利手势
前页铺展：汤姆·迪克森 / 泰晤士报：铺展：盖蒂图片社
40 《泰晤士杂志》
埃拉·凡·海姆斯特拉和她的女儿奥黛丽·赫本，1959年
希特勒曾为他题赠一本《我的奋斗》。伯恩曾将其视为珍宝，后来却将其遗忘在出租车里
极其娇生惯养：“我只需动动手指，一切就都准备好了。”当伯恩的父亲发现他的同性恋倾向时，伯恩接受了乔治五世御医注射的苯丙胺（Benzedrine），这让他变得过度活跃，但并未让他变成异性恋。
在与伯吉斯相遇的那一年，伯恩前往拜罗伊特沉浸在瓦格纳的音乐中，并陷入了纳粹主义的魔咒。“我的无知、盲目以及半犯罪的善意，使我成了一个被愚弄的人，”他后来写道。英国法西斯分子尤妮蒂·米特福德（Unity Mitford）将他介绍给了希特勒，后者为这位年轻的英国人题赠了一本《我的奋斗》。伯恩将这个令人厌恶的纪念品珍藏了一天，随后在醉酒后将其遗忘在了一辆出租车里。
在一次纽伦堡集会上，伯恩描述了“天空中巨大的灯光、动人的音乐、雄辩的辞令、呈现方式、时机、表演、配乐、狂喜与高潮”。坐在他身边的是另一位纳粹爱好者，荷兰贵族埃拉·凡·海姆斯特拉男爵夫人（Baroness Ella van Heemstra），伯恩与她开始了婚外情。
回到英国后，伯恩在意识形态上转向了完全相反的方向，在得出“希特勒向我提供的所谓拯救灵魂的东西纯属狗屁”的结论后，他拥抱了
极左翼政治。
伯吉斯在引导伯恩转向马克思列宁主义方面发挥了关键作用。“他当时并不掩饰自己的共产主义倾向，并教会了我很多相关知识，”伯恩写道。
伯恩加入了《泰晤士报》的帝国与国外新闻编辑部，并在1936年的退位危机期间与编辑杰弗里·道森（Geoffrey Dawson）密切合作。
通过伯吉斯，伯恩进入了一个生活放荡、经常出没于双性恋圈子的上流社会群体，并结识了众多文学名流。他告诉著名作家E.M. 福斯特（EM Forster）他认为萨默塞特·毛姆（Somerset Maugham）是“当代最伟大的小说家”，这冒犯了福斯特（却让伯吉斯觉得很有趣）。他回忆道，在剑桥，“我们翻过一面墙，盯着A.E. 豪斯曼（AE Housman）在[他的]花园里阅读。”那位诗人并没有发现他们。
“盖伊对自己的同性恋身份毫不掩饰，而且似乎认为历史上几乎所有伟大人物要么是公开的，要么是秘密的同性恋……他喜欢向他的同性恋朋友们炫耀我。”在《海外英国人》（An Englishman Abroad）一书中，艾伦·贝内特（Alan Bennett）将
伯吉斯描述为一名“衣衫不整的伊顿公学泥鳅”。
伯吉斯极其滥情，但他对伯恩的感情更为深沉。科学家兼军情五处（MI5）官员维克多·罗斯柴尔德（Victor Rothschild）告诉伯恩，伯吉斯爱上了他。“我想他确实爱我，就他所能做到的程度而言……但我并没有爱上他，”伯恩在关于他们关系的叙述中写道。
正是在这段时间，伯恩结识了金·菲尔比（Kim Philby），一位迷人的战地记者，也是《泰晤士报》的一颗冉冉升起的新星。菲尔比是根据其克格勃（KGB）上线——富有魅力的捷克知识分子阿诺德·多伊奇（Arnold Deutsch）的指令加入该报的。“一旦你进入内部，你就可以环顾四周，决定往哪个方向走。”
伯吉斯还向伯恩介绍了安东尼·布朗特（Anthony Blunt）和另一位外交官唐纳德·麦克林（Donald Maclean）。此时，伯吉斯、菲尔比、布朗特和麦克林都在秘密为苏联从事间谍活动。如果不是战争爆发，伯恩本人可能也会被卷入这个间谍环。
在外界看来，伯恩是一个业余爱好者，一个社交蝴蝶，在不同的床铺和想法之间跳跃，从未停下来深思。但他同时也拥有惊人的原始勇气。
他的战争记录读起来就像《少年自有报》（Boy's Own Paper）中的一篇报道。伯恩立即加入了特种服务旅（Special Service Brigade），这是一个由精锐突击队员组成的志愿单位，并在1940年德国入侵后参加了挪威的防御战，当时他身上仅携带“一本简·奥斯汀的小说和少量弹药”。
“你现在是个战争英雄了，”当他回家时，伯吉斯打趣道，“你穿制服的样子真美。”伯吉斯本人则完全没有参战的打算。“他在任何团里都撑不了多久，”伯恩写道。
1942年3月，伯恩在“战车行动”（Operation Chariot）中扮演了主导角色，这是一次针对纳粹舰队使用的圣纳泽尔（St Nazaire）码头的两栖攻击。在这次战争中最大胆的行动之一中，伯恩上尉率领由28名突击队员组成的单位执行任务，旨在摧毁港口的炮阵地，与此同时，一艘伪装成德国船只并装载高能炸药的驱逐舰撞击了码头。伯恩的部队损失了一半，但他一路奋战登岸，最终在手臂、大腿和背部受弹伤和碎片伤的情况下被俘。他后来被授予军事十字勋章。德国人发布了一张宣传照片，照片中伯恩在德国水兵的枪口威胁下被带走，双手举在空中：摄影师没有注意到伯恩的左手悄悄地比出了代表胜利的“V”字手势。他与数百名被俘的盟军军官一起被关押在科尔迪茨（Colditz）。
“我现在住在一座城堡里，就像大多数体面人在一年中的这个时节所做的那样，”伯恩在写给父母的信中这样写道。在那里，他成为了监狱里的驻场哲学家，“一个天生的乐观主义者，以及一个”
《泰晤士杂志》 41
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“……科尔迪茨少数几个从未感到沮丧的男人之一”。他还设法与其他男性发生性关系，这是科尔迪茨生活中在随后所有记录中都被严格掩盖的一面，尽管“这类事情”是一项挑战，因为“很难找到足够的隐私来使其变得愉快”。他利用记者的速记习惯，记录下隐藏在阁楼里的秘密收音机播出的每晚 BBC 广播，这些内容随后会被朗读给囚犯们听。在被囚期间，他学习并获得了牛津大学社会科学文凭，学习了俄语并开设了关于马克思主义的讲座。这些举动在狱友道格拉斯·巴德（Douglas Bader）那里并不受欢迎，巴德是一位失去双腿的飞行王牌，且持有激进的偏见。在巴德看来，伯恩的浮夸和左翼观点使他成了一个“危险的威胁”。
1945年10月，在从科尔迪茨获释后，伯恩收到了一封来自前情人埃拉·范·海姆斯特拉（Ella van Heemstra）的信。与他一样，她也放弃了早先对法西斯主义的迷恋，并在纳粹占领期间遭受了巨大的苦难。范·海姆斯特拉的女儿（被称为“埃达”）梦想成为一名舞者，但当时正患有黄疸、贫血以及由营养不良引起的感染。范·海姆斯特拉询问伯恩是否能弄到青霉素，这是一种可以救她女儿生命的新奇药。伯恩寄去了数千支香烟，范·海姆斯特拉在黑市上将其出售以购买药物。女孩康复了，后来成为了奥黛丽·赫本。
战后回到伦敦，伯恩发现伯吉斯变得憔悴许多，衣衫褴褛，且几乎处于永久的醉酒状态。放荡不羁的生活方式以及从事间谍活动的压力正在侵蚀他的健康。“他喝酒很多，变得相当臃肿，”伯恩写道。
伯恩回国时坚信自己是完全的同性恋，但随后迅速爱上了一位女性玛丽·布克（Mary Booker），并在接下来的三十年里与她结婚。他将她介绍给伯吉斯：“我听说你娶了伦敦最美丽的女人，事实确实如此，”伯吉斯说道，他一如既往地富有魅力。
正是因为伯恩持续的同性恋行为（显然是在其妻子的知情下进行的），导致他与伯吉斯关系疏远。
“我偶尔会在皮卡迪利广场附近找些男孩……不多，但偶尔会找，”他写道。有一天，伯恩在《世界新闻报》上读到一家男妓院被突袭，数名男子因同性恋罪行被捕。担心自己的名字可能出现在某个名单上，他前往苏格兰场，要求与负责此案的督察交谈。
“我告诉他我有个问题。我提供了我在白金汉门（Buckingham Gate）的姓名和地址。我希望他能提供建议和帮助。他感到很惊讶。他唯一说的是，他确信我会结婚并摆脱这一切。”
当他把这个故事讲给伯吉斯听时，这位克格勃间谍明显感到惊慌。“随后他冷静下来，说道：‘米基，你的做法非常客观。’”
伯吉斯现在显然将伯恩视为一个安全风险。“我想，作为一名间谍，与一个会将问题交给警察的人如此密切地交往，更不用说与之相爱，对他来说绝非好事……在那之后，他对我的兴趣逐渐减弱了。”
尽管如此，伯吉斯仍不时试图诱惑他。“你不明白，我结婚了，”伯恩告诉他。
“别这么自命不凡，”伯吉斯说。伯恩曾为共产党奔走，但在报道了共产主义的现实后，后来否认了马克思主义。
伯恩转向了小说创作。他的关于科尔迪茨（Colditz）的小说《是的，再见》（Yes, Farewell）是一篇伪装的社会主义宣言，宣告了旧有阶级结构的死亡。随后，他创作了大量质量参差不齐的书籍、剧本和诗歌。他的母亲将他的诗作推介给多位文学名流：J.B. 普里斯特利认为伯恩的诗句“非常有前景”，但 T.S. 艾略特则认为他的诗歌“不成熟，且经常显得笨拙”。他的父亲则更为直白：“除非押韵，否则我讨厌诗歌。”
伯恩搬到了波思马多格港（Porthmadog Harbour），在那里建立了一个基于社会主义原则运行的贻贝养殖合作社。不出所料，这在财务上失败了。
他在 2003 年发表于《泰晤士报》的一篇题为《盖伊·伯吉斯：爱我的间谍》的文章中写到了他与伯吉斯的私情。伯恩回忆起前任情人的那种“伪装的纯真，仿佛他刚刚按响了某个重要人物的门铃就匆忙逃走一样”。他在四页笔记中的大部分细节在文章中被省略了，或许正如伯吉斯的传记作者斯图尔特·普维斯（Stewart Purvis）和杰夫·赫尔伯特（Jeff Hulbert）所写，是因为他“判断《泰晤士报》的读者可能还没准备好面对某些细节的剖析”。
伯恩是一个激情极其短暂且耐心有限的人，他决心品尝生活中的一切，但很少坚持下去。他曾是一个纳粹同情者，后来变成共产主义者，再后来变成天主教徒，但后来他又因为其
在逃往俄罗斯之前，伯吉斯在一次聚会上给伯恩打了电话。“我爱你，”他含糊地说道
作为《泰晤士报》的东欧特派员。
到1951年，伯吉斯在英国驻华盛顿大使馆担任二等秘书，但因酗酒和日益古怪的行为而面临被解雇的境地。金·菲尔比当时也在华盛顿，并已升至军情六处（MI6）站长的职位。
菲尔比发现美国人已经破解了克格勃（KGB）在战争时期的部分无线电代码，当局正逐步逼近麦克林。菲尔比告诉当时住在自己家的房客伯吉斯，让他返回伦敦并警告麦克林可能必须逃亡。
10月，回到伦敦后，伯吉斯在一次聚会上给伯恩打了电话，当时他酩酊大醉。“我爱你，”他含糊地说道。
伯恩再也没有见过他。几天后，伯吉斯和麦克林登上了一艘开往法国圣马洛港的船，随后逃往俄罗斯，再未返回。
前任情人的叛逃让伯恩深受打击。“人们后来因为与他的关系而遭受了很多苦难，”他写道，“但我没有。不知怎么地，我一直保持着距离，而且很快我就离开了《泰晤士报》，不再具有什么重要性。”
对同性恋的立场。他是一位战争英雄，一名婚姻幸福的双性恋者，一名贻贝养殖户，一名诗人，也是一名后来放弃事实而转向虚构的记者。伯恩从未感到无聊，并且直到2010年去世时（享年97岁），始终保持着乐观。
在某些方面，伯吉斯恰恰相反。他在年轻时就接纳了秘密共产主义，尽管生活混乱，但他从未放弃。
在另一个罕见的稳定性元素中，伯恩可能是伯吉斯一生中的挚爱。他的侄子寄给我的一份四页文档确实给人这种印象——一个来自坟墓之外的爱情故事。但它也留下了一个挥之不去的谜团。伯恩可能尝试过生活中的一切，但他从未涉足间谍活动。作为伯吉斯的朋友以及其他剑桥间谍的熟人，一个坚定的秘密共产主义者，且是一个极易受影响的冒险之人，伯恩本是招募的绝佳目标。伯吉斯与伯恩同床，向他传授共产主义，并将其引入一个充斥着间谍的世界。然而，他从未招募他。
至少，这是伯恩所声称的。■
SHUTTERSTOCK
《泰晤士杂志》 43
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这位来自威根的大学讲师如何成为百万富翁时尚大亨
维多利亚·马格拉思（Victoria Magrath）在攻读博士学位期间，将经营时尚博客作为一项业余爱好。起初这只是份兼职，但很快就变成了她的事业。如今，她拥有自己的化妆品系列，拥有一大批对他推荐的所有产品都深信不疑的追随者，以及一座用利润打造的豪宅（包括一个金色的浴缸）。
作者：哈丽特·沃克（Harriet Walker）
维多利亚·马格拉思，37岁， 由蒂姆·乔布林（Tim Jobling）拍摄于 米尔顿凯恩斯的家中
威尼斯电影节，2023
切尔西花展，2025
2019年在罗马
2021年在伦敦
伦敦时装周，2017
2013年，维多利亚·马格拉思最早的付费合作项目之一——当时人们才刚刚开始使用“影响力人物”（influencer）这个词——是在YouTube的一个短片中介绍一种新型巧克力口味的燕麦奶。
“它味道很好，而且听起来很简单；我想，为什么不试试呢？”这位威根本地人说道。
“那时候品牌合作甚至还不是一回事。我想我当时拿到了5,000 英镑——简直是天文数字。从那时起，事业就开始飞速发展。”
如今，这位37岁女性在Instagram上有120 万粉丝，YouTube有100 万订阅者，TikTok有828,000粉丝，Pinterest有145,000粉丝，Facebook有73,000粉丝。平均每分钟，至少有一名粉丝会通过联盟营销平台LTK上的推荐页面进行购物，她在该平台还拥有另外54,000名粉丝并赚取佣金。平均每小时，这些粉丝会花费£100。她于去年11月推出的化妆品系列Byfrow，在上市首日就接到了超过1,000份订单。
如果你没听说过维多利亚·马格拉思，你并不孤单。人们经常用她最初的博客名称Inthefrow来称呼她（“frow”是时尚界对“前排”front row的缩写），该博客由她在2012年23岁时创办。“我最好的朋友现在还叫我Frowy，”她说。
如今，马格拉思在网上的名称简单地被称为@Victoria；拥有一个仅由名字组成的账号，相当于影响力人物中的单名流行巨星，如麦当娜（Madonna）或普林斯（Prince）。然而，将她带到今天这个位置的并非运气。在创办博客时，马格拉思决定在全球范围内将“frow”这个词注册为商标，“以防万一”。当时，她正在研究一个关于消费者行为的博士课题，而研究结果似乎指向了一件事：我们的购物方式即将永远改变。
“在那时，用手机购物甚至还没进入人们的思考过程，”她说。“少数几个品牌有网站，但还没有应用程序。”
到24岁时，马格拉思成为了曼彻斯特大学的一名讲师，就在她曾就读本科的时尚零售系。她的梦想是进入电商网站Net-a-Porter工作；她甚至用第一笔讲课薪水买了一双鲁布坦（Louboutin）高跟鞋，准备穿到那里去。然而，她的研究让她意识到一个平行宇宙的存在，在这个宇宙中，维多利亚·马格拉思可能不仅仅是一名时尚爱好者，而是编辑、模特、营销团队和首席执行官的结合体。在观看了一段YouTube化妆教程后，她开始录制自己的教程。
“每天早上我都会查看有多少粉丝，总会有10或20个新粉丝。看到页面浏览量增长的感觉太令人兴奋了。”
一年之内，马格拉思开始在早上6点起床完成讲义的编写。下班后，她会撰写博客文章，然后开始构思下一组讲义。
“我和我最好的朋友住在一起，她非常支持我，但最终总得有所取舍。我没在睡觉。我达到了一个临界点，即从博客中赚到的钱比讲课赚得更多。于是我决定冒险。”
那位同样的朋友现在已经担任她的个人助理 13 年了，尽管对方曾评价她早期的 YouTube 视频“令人尴尬”。而那个因为她工作太努力而几乎见不到面的男朋友现在成了她的丈夫；他们 16 岁时相识，随后在 21 岁时再次相遇，并于 2019 年在普罗旺斯的一座城堡中结婚。那个结婚周末她换了五套新娘造型，这些都被记录在她的社交账号以及《时尚芭莎》（Harper's Bazaar）上。亚历克斯·马格拉思（Alex Magrath，他随妻姓）现在经常出现在妻子的视频片段中。他依然负责拍摄她所有的照片并剪辑所有视频，就像在人们创造出“Instagram 男友”这个词（用来形容那些在赚钱的女性面孔背后的男性）之前的那些年里一样。
“每天早晨我都会查看增加了多少粉丝。那种感觉太令人兴奋了”
而且这种奢华随处可见。电动大门、跑车、设计师手袋：她的生活看起来像个足球运动员。据互联网估计，在与欧莱雅、维多利亚·贝克汉姆和迪奥（而非燕麦奶品牌）合作 13 年后，马格拉思的净资产为 £120 万。这对她来说听起来准确吗？
“我从未真正谈论过这件事，”她说，“但是的，我确实赚了超过一百万。所以我想我是一个百万富翁。我并非出身富裕，我一直努力工作来维持生计。”
马格拉思的父亲曾是一名房产过户律师，当她和哥哥上中学时，她的母亲成为了当地学院的一名学习支持人员。在威根的英格兰教会迪恩里高中（C of E Deanery High School）就读的青少年时期，马格拉思“绝对不是个受欢迎的孩子”。她还曾在当地一家餐厅担任洗锅工，后来晋升为服务员，最终成为助理厨师。
“我不喜欢称自己为影响力者（influencer），”她说，“这让我做的事情感觉像是一种交易，而我开始时并非如此。那是我痴迷的一项爱好。”
马格拉思更倾向于使用“内容创作者”这个词，而她布置精美的家（在白金汉郡进行的一次大规模翻修，并在所有平台上进行了报道）表明她依然如此。美容产品被摆放得恰到好处，以便拍出完美的“货架照”；梦幻般的步入式衣橱成为了理想的背景。在走廊里，一台配有绒毛麦克风的紧凑型 Vlogging 摄像机像她的腊肠犬一样期待地待在那里。她几乎每天都发布内容，最近是在谈论尝试全职搬到康沃尔郡。
“我简直就像对着朋友一样对着相机说话，”她笑着说，“我有 12 年在网上没有说过脏话；现在我会说了。我认为人们在渴望真实且未经滤镜处理的东西——更少完美，更少消费主义。”
但其他人的消费正是她商业模式的核心支柱。马格拉思是影响力营销的一部分
前页：发型 CHRISTOPHER LONG，化妆 GABRIELLA FLOYD，使用 BYFROW 化妆品，本页：盖蒂图片社（GETTY IMAGES）
46 《泰晤士杂志》
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“我到了一个靠博客赚的钱比讲课还多的阶段。于是我决定冒险尝试”
数字营销学院（Digital Marketing Institute）估算该行业的价值为 341 亿美元（250 亿英镑），高于去年的 325.5 亿美元。高盛预测，她所处于核心地位的更广泛的“创作者经济”到 2027 年将达到 5000 亿美元。品牌在网红营销上每投入 1 美元，平均可获得 5.78 美元。
这就是为什么马格拉思在很多年前获得了她的第一个 5,000 英镑：在一个最推崇“真实性”这一流行词的经济体中，讨人喜欢的人是一种宝贵的商品。从她打开家门的那一刻起——门边摆着装饰有曼彻斯特蜜蜂图案花盆的绣球花——她拉我过去拥抱时，马格拉思就让人无法不喜欢。
“我有一种无法摆脱的热情，”她笑着说，“有些时候我去大时尚品牌那里试装，他们会觉得，这个脸上带着笑容、话很多的人是谁？但到最后，他们的态度会完全改变。”
她的北方口音是否与此有关？
“很长一段时间我认为这在阻碍我。我是房间里唯一的北方人；我担心人们不会认真对待我。但我认为安迪·伯纳姆（Andy Burnham）之所以能取得突破，也是因为这个。如果你能用一种能引起共鸣的方式说话，那就是一座金矿。”
“能引起共鸣”（Relatable）是我们这个时代的另一个流行词。如果你不能引起共鸣，就无法被喜爱——而在社交媒体上，如果你想赚钱，点赞就是一切。
“公众热爱并信任维多利亚，”LTK购物平台的美国联合创始人安伯·文兹·博克斯（Amber Venz Box）说道。该平台托管了马格拉思的内容，估值 20 亿美元。两人十年前在伦敦时装周首次相遇。
当马格拉思推出她的化妆品品牌 Byfrow 时，她拒绝了四家大型零售商（“那些你听说过的品牌”）的入驻邀请，以便能按自己的方式经营。
上个月底，她推出了一款售价 £30 SPF50 Hue Glazing Balm（对你我而言就是透明腮红），适用于唇部和面颊。Byfrow 还推出了售价 £19 唇线笔，马格拉思认为这款产品让她彻底告别了曾经尝试过的填充注射。
“几年后我意识到我不喜欢注射后嘴唇的样子，”她耸耸肩说，“然后我学会了画唇线，效果更好。”
马格拉思成为网络红人已经很久了，她的前几个阶段就像是在谷歌上可以搜到的“人类进化史”。例如，尽管身高 5 英尺 7 英寸，但她一直像洋娃娃一样，而现在她看起来像个车库里放着 Reformer 普拉提床的人（我见过）。即使在聊天时没化妆，她依然拥有那种时刻面对镜头般的精致感。早期她染过紫色头发，然后是铂金色和经典金色。现在她是草莓金，粉丝们经常预约她的发型师，要求染成她那样的颜色。但评价并非总是赞美之词。
“我见过你能想象到的最可怕的威胁，”她说，“社交媒体就像美国西部荒野——没有监管，没有界限。人们会说最恶毒的话，而且变得越来越残酷。温暖在减少。”
在生活成本危机期间，人们确实对 Instagram 上那种富有的光鲜感产生了反弹（无法引起共鸣）。随着许多人缩减开支，上个月的一项调查发现，74% 的人不信任网红的评论。去年《零售公告》（The Retail Bulletin）报道称，由网红驱动的购买比例从 2023 年的 54% 下降到 2025 年的 50%，而 65% 的人表示他们更倾向于信任口碑。然而，如果影响力营销不是大规模货币化的口碑，那它又是什么呢？
“即使是我，买的大多数东西也是因为在网红那里看到的。但我们内容创作者在诱导过度消费方面绝对负有责任，”马格拉思说，“我有这么多漂亮的包和鞋——所有我曾经想要的东西——但我并不需要这么多。”
她坐在奶油色的沙发上，周围环绕着迪奥（Dior）的毯子和罗意威（Loewe）的香氛蜡烛——这些要么是因为她巨大的网络影响力而获赠，要么是用此赚来的钱购买的。这并不是我想听到的话。不过，马格拉思的职业生涯最初就是因为她大胆尝试新方向而开启的。那么，这一次她对消费者行为的预测是什么？
“现在有太多虚假的 AI 产物了；人们想要远离手机，”她说。“我已经接受了减少内容创作、减少佣金收入。现在的重点是拥有那些让你铭记的体验，而不是另一条你很快就会忘记的牛仔裤。”
在离开时，我忍不住问她那条带有红色缝线口袋的白色宽腿牛仔裤是从哪里买的。我实在没忍住。■
《泰晤士杂志》 47
Everyman 电影院买一送一电影票
每周三，Times+ 会员可与一名好友一同前往 Everyman 电影院享受观影时光。在全英 49 个分店中，您可以体验到配备豪华沙发、全功能酒吧和绝佳美食的完美电影体验。请访问 thetimes.com / timesplus 查看我们的电影评论家对最新上映影片的推荐与点评。
TIMES+ / EVERYMAN
适用条款与条件。仅限周三。
嘟嘴！
夏季轻盈妆容
作者：Nadine Baggott
“最少努力，最大效果”是我的美容格言，在夏天尤其如此，因为比起画全脸浓妆，总有更值得做的事情。以下是使用护肤 / 彩妆混合产品的方法，它们涂抹后质感轻盈，但具有持久力。
1 THE CULT BB CREAM Missha M Perfect Cover 精华 BB 霜（£12.90, 共八种色号；boots.com） 这款韩国经典 BB 霜在首尔畅销 20 多年，终于登陆 Boots，而且效果很好。本质上它是带有色素的护肤品，因此初次体验就像在使用精华液或超轻盈的乳液，只不过它能轻松模糊毛孔和细纹，缓解泛红或色素沉着。我要坦率地说，它需要更多色号，但如果在这里获得成功，后续会增加的，所以快去 Boots 尝试寻找适合肤色的色号吧。它的质地相当轻盈，因此比全覆盖底妆更自然。
2 THE LIQUID LIGHT BRONZER Lumene Invisible Illumination 液态古铜色修容 Summer Glow 色（£23.90; boots.com） 同样是一款超轻盈的精华液，但这款带有色调，能带来光泽感和淡淡的晒黑效果。有时液态修容很难晕染，但这款除外。是的，可以用温暖的指尖涂抹，也可以尝试用刷子点蘸这款液体，然后将其揉入皮肤中。它不会增加覆盖力，只会带来健康的红润光泽。
3 THE SOFTEST CREAM BLUSH e.l.f. Soft Glam 膏状腮红（£7; superdrug.com） 很多膏状腮红的显色度很高——在冬天很棒，但在出汗的夏季皮肤上简直是灾难。这款非常漂亮，能带来轻盈的色彩红晕和淡淡的健康光泽，且没有闪粉或油光。此外，它还可以点涂在嘴唇上，打造简单的夏季妆容。Gumball 色对我来说是绝对的赢家。
4 THE NO-SMUDGE MASCARA Sweed Cloud 睫毛膏 黑色（£26; cultbeauty.co.uk） 如果您还不知道的话，管状睫毛膏（tubing mascara）不是基于蜡质的，而是含有聚合物
我对有色防晒霜持怀疑态度，但这款确实有效
它会在睫毛上形成一层包裹，然后在一天结束时用温水洗掉（因此得名“管状”）。为什么？这使得它们几乎防汗且不晕染。当然，它也有缺点：没有超大容量的丰盈感（因为没有纤维），也没有太多的增长效果，但如果你希望睫毛看起来状态最佳且不过分浓妆，那么夏天正是尝试这种配方的完美时机。
5 水感唇釉 Laneige Juicepop Box 唇釉（£15.99，共八种色号；asos.com） 这就像是用于嘴唇的皮肤润色产品。它质地轻盈，感觉像是一款带有极美淡色的唇部精华。它可以涂满整个嘴唇以打造自然妆感——只需选择最接近你自然唇色的颜色——甚至可以涂在那些持久型染唇液之上，营造一种全天候的、毫无负担的柔和红润感。
6 一步到位的染眉胶 Kosas Air Brow（£20，共十种色号；spacenk.com） 这真的是一款傻瓜式的染眉胶 / 修眉膏和色彩合一产品。对于我们这些没有像卡拉·德尔薇妮（Cara Delevingne）那样华丽眉毛的人来说，小刷头让涂抹变得简单，但它能在几秒钟内增加色彩深度，填补一些稀疏的空隙，并带来整洁的妆感。另外：它还能遮盖白眉毛。
7 有色 SPF 底妆 Merit The Uniform 有色矿物防晒霜 SPF50（£34；sephora.co.uk）
我对有色防晒霜总是持怀疑态度，但这款确实有效。即使是对深色皮肤，它的色号也具有包容性，而且确实超级轻盈（它仅作为 SPF 补涂产品，如果你计划长时间在阳光下坐着，则需要一款专门的防晒霜），并且没有那种油腻、不美观的妆效。事实上，它提供了一种柔焦的、适合所有人的覆盖力。
8 新定义裸眼妆 Giorgio Armani 眼影液（£33，共 20 种色号；boots.com） 我知道，夏天用眼影——但请听我解释。它的感觉像是一款柔软的精华，能增加一层淡色并与皮肤融合而无黏腻感，同时为眼睛增添最微妙的精致感，尤其是如果你选择像 Sand、Cedar 或 Tobacco 这样肤色中性但能勾勒轮廓的色号。绝对不会出错的眼影——是的，真的。
9 烟熏粉末眼线笔 Made By Mitchell 巧克力块色 Cake 眼线笔（£13；boots.com）
忘掉夏天容易晕染的铅笔眼线吧；相反，尝试用斜角刷掌握粉末眼线，因为 a) 它更柔和且更美观，b) 它不会晕染或抹花。只需涂在上睫毛根部，甚至涂在睫毛之间，就能让眼睛看起来轮廓更清晰、更大，并在几秒钟内完成眼妆。这款产品也可以用湿刷涂抹，以便在夜晚或冬季获得更浓郁的效果。但提醒一点，只要有合适的斜角刷，任何深巧克力色的眼影都足够了。■
可以在 Instagram @nadinebaggott 找到 Nadine，她会在那里回答你所有的美容问题
《泰晤士杂志》 49
TIMES 旅行合作伙伴
五天行程起
£999*
每人
黑斯廷斯战役与拜约挂毯
2027年4月25日及6月20日
在这场迷人的旅程中，回到中世纪英格兰的世界。您将获得在英国本土欣赏标志性拜约挂毯的罕见机会，并访问塑造了国家历史的历史城堡和战场。
在这场激动人心的旅程中，穿越回1066年。拜约挂毯在近一千年后首次离开诺曼底，为您提供在英国本土观看它的绝佳机会。该文物目前被借展于备受期待的英国博物馆展览中，
这件非凡的艺术品通过精细的细节生动地展现了诺曼征服英格兰的真实景象。我们还将探索挂毯中所记载的地点，包括黑斯廷斯战役的古战场和战役修道院（Battle Abbey），征服者威廉在此赢得了胜利，并从此改变了英国历史的进程。在这次对肯特郡和东萨塞克斯郡的迷人探索中，访问博迪亚姆城堡、海弗城堡和彭斯赫斯特庄园将进一步勾勒出中世纪英格兰的图景。
我们热爱
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Odysea ajvar 辣椒茄子酱
(200g, £3, waitrose.com)
一种由辣椒和茄子制成的土耳其蘸酱，也可以直接作为意面酱，且没有太重的“预制感”。
脆洋葱
(100g, £1.80, ocado.com)
我以前习惯自己做。那么多切片工作，那么多油！现在我直接把这些加入 mujadara（一种由香料米和扁豆组成的经典素食料理）中。
Veetee 全谷物巴斯马蒂米
(2 x 130g, £1.15, sainsburys.co.uk)
微波炉米饭的最佳品牌，其全谷物巴斯马蒂米是最省时的选择，1分钟即可完成，而炉灶烹饪则需要25分钟。
冷冻洋葱丁
(500g, 99p, aldi.co.uk)
无论你的刀工多么出色，切洋葱都需要时间。这些洋葱从开始到结束只需5分钟即可准备就绪。
Gaea 火烤红椒
(290g, £3.30, ocado.com)
无论制作北非蛋（shakshuka）还是库斯库斯沙拉，这些红椒能为您节省至少20分钟的烤制、冷却和剥皮时间。
Merchant Gourmet 普伊小扁豆
(250g, £2.15, sainsburys.co.uk)
我知道这很偷懒，但就每公斤价格而言，这些并不比买原材贵多少。不过，我不推荐该系列中的调味品种。
So Organic 鹰嘴豆
(380g, £1.30, sainsburys.co.uk)
只要再加一小撮盐，这些鹰嘴豆就几乎和某个价格贵近两倍的罐装品牌一样好。
Ottolenghi 烟熏蜂蜜腌料
(270g, £4, waitrose.com)
这是辣蜂蜜中较为可接受的一种。我用它来腌制鸡腿肉，但会在混合物中加入少许柠檬汁以中和甜味。
Belazu 罗勒青酱
(135g, £3, sainsburys.co.uk) 我才不会去碰那些罐装货，但这个是值得放在冰箱里备用的便捷选择。
De Cecco 土豆团子 (gnocchi di patate)
(500g, £2.75, tesco.com)
显然是用来搭配那一桶青酱的。这是我最喜欢的品牌，因为它们在煮熟后能很好地保持形状。
西班牙压碎番茄面包涂酱
(250ml, £2.50, ocado.com)
我几乎尴尬得不敢承认，但现成的番茄泥？为什么不呢？
Payst 泰式绿咖喱酱
(100g, £5.50, payst.co.uk)
我尽量在文中推荐超市产品，但 Payst 的泰式咖喱酱系列（由 Farang 餐厅团队打造）实在太出色了，你们必须了解一下。 ■
《泰晤士杂志》
51
外出就餐
盖尔斯·科伦
“面条被子（非常像一张没铺好的床上的被子）太棒了。有点像被压扁的辣味千层面”
Jiaonest
“那么通常现在会发生什么？”辛迪·于（Cindy Yu）说道，她放下啤酒，拿起伦敦东区哈格斯顿（Haggerston）Jiaonest餐厅的菜单。
“嗯，”我说，“通常人们会说，‘噢，盖尔斯，你对中国菜这么了解，为什么不帮大家点餐呢？’”
辛迪挑了挑眉毛。
“但这次，既然你以前来过这里，我愿意平分这个责任。”
于是，在“小盘菜”部分，辛迪点了鸭鸭米饭吐司和顶级花菇——“耐心地炖至酥烂，直接来自重庆，由其山林塑造，带有泥土气息且芬芳”，以及带有“麻痹警告”的香料招牌沙拉配脆猪耳。我还加了凉面——“重庆深受喜爱的夏季菜肴；丝滑的豌豆面拌入坚果香、辛辣和微麻的平衡酱汁中，并由甜味和酸味提升风风”，因为这听起来……能提升精神。然后我们点了麻婆豆腐、药膳鸡腿、面条被子以及芦笋木耳，这似乎差不多了。辛迪表示同意。
你认识辛迪。她是《泰晤士报》相对较新的成员，此前曾担任《旁观者》（The Spectator）的广播编辑，而且至关重要的一点是，她曾在利多超市（Lidl）担任店长。她出生在南京，九岁时来到这里，她能出色地撰写关于许多事情的文章，但主要是关于中国，并且她与中国大使馆保持着一种友好的关系，使她能够礼貌地询问：“那么，有入侵台湾的计划吗？”而对方也会礼貌地回答：“我们为什么要入侵一个是中国的一部分的地方？”
她会做而且确实会做中国菜（我们在点麻婆豆腐时提到了这一点），但“令人尴尬的是，我这一切都是通过阅读傅霞（Fuchsia Dunlop [英国在中文尤其是川菜烹饪领域的伟大先驱]）学到的，而不是跟我妈学的”。她对Jiaonest非常兴奋。去年年底我们第一次见面时，她建议共进午餐，而我，作为一个极端的种族主义者，说我很乐意，只要她能帮我找一家我以前没去过的真正出色的中餐厅。
她花了六个月时间，但她做到了。Jiaonest是主厨兼店主杨华（Hua Yang）的作品，她在重庆父母的药店长大，这座超级城市（人口：3200 万）
52 《泰晤士杂志》
毗邻四川，其饮食与四川一样依赖于“麻辣”，即四川花椒的麻（ma）与干辣椒的辣（la）所构成的奇妙双重火力。
杨华（那天晚上她不在，或者留在厨房里）最初来到伦敦学习空间设计，随后通过东伦敦的私人晚餐俱乐部（supper clubs）开设了自己的店。店址位于金斯兰路（Kingsland Road）一个带空调的地下室里，上方是一家名为“A Bar with Shapes for a Name”的简陋酒吧（如果你想知道的话，名字里是三角形、正方形和圆形）。这里相当简朴，有没铺桌布的桌子、白墙、偶尔可见的猫像、花瓶里的羽毛，以及远端光井处一个贯穿整面墙的中药柜。你的椅子座垫里有一个抽屉，装着药材、四川花椒等——在Jiaonest胡说八道，说出来的话都是辣的。但这里的氛围很柔和，播放着安静的爵士乐，没有嘈杂声。没有道尔斯顿（Dalston）那种可怕的喧嚣。而且食物非常出色。
首先上桌的是凉面（£10.50），长条形，矩形，像刚出生的小老鼠一样滑溜，看起来有点像几何形状的欧防风，足够坚挺，可以用筷子夹起并悬在那里，折成两半，但如果晃动可能会断掉，在舌尖上感觉很凉爽，配以浓郁的花生味辛辣酱汁——在另一个33摄氏度的伦敦夜晚，这令人心旷神怡。
这些菜肴与一款名为 Treeton 的玛格丽特河（Margaret River）霞多丽白葡萄酒非常契合，这款酒带有橡木桶气息且口感清爽，是菜单上最贵的白葡萄酒，售价 £72——加价幅度还算合理。这里的绝大多数葡萄酒显然都是“天然酒”，毕竟这里是哈克尼（Hackney），但 Treeton 属于“极低”干预而非“无”干预，味道极佳。其口感足够浓郁，足以抗衡麻辣味。
我很喜欢那道苦叶沙拉 (£13)，由于使用了四川风味的酱汁，它附带了一个“麻痹警告”，而冰凉的猪耳脆皮条融入整体的爽脆感中，口感极佳。那道顶级花菇 (£8) 简直令人惊叹：大小和重量像个板球，切成五片，质地非常浓密、冰凉、多肉，带有某种“森林枯木之下”的风味，咀嚼时会流出相当浓郁的醋汁。我挺喜欢，但辛迪（Cindy）更喜欢。我的意思是，她真的非常、非常喜欢。
在经历了特大号蘑菇片那种冰凉、酸淡（但并非不好吃）的松软感后，我很高兴能通过鸭肉糯米吐司 (£11.50) 回到热烈且油润的世界。这道菜简直不可思议：一英寸厚的肥美焖鸭肉和糯米，夹在两片酥脆的油炸面包之间，切成四块并撒上芝麻。它的感觉就像直接从 20 世纪 70 年代英式粤菜食谱中走出来的芝麻虾吐司，但肉感十足。一口下去极其震撼。像是一道深炸的炖菜。一个英雄级别的三明治。
面条被褥 (£10) 同样精彩，扁平且有嚼劲的面片随意地卷在一起（非常像一张没叠好的床上的被子），配以炸酱（菜单上出色的词汇表将其称为“基于中国北方经典大豆酱的四川变体，浓郁且咸鲜；传统上与肉末炒制”）、碎鹰嘴豆和辣椒油。有点像是一道被压扁的辣味千层面。
鸡腿肉 (£16) 是干净、甜美、精致的小块，辛迪认为“药味没那么重”，而麻婆豆腐 (£16.50) 则是对经典菜肴的一种优雅且不繁琐的呈现，据说基于 Hua 祖母的食谱，而且并不特别辣。对此我感到庆幸。因为一个年长的白人胖子在伦敦空调地下室里，在一名年轻女性面前像加热灯下的烤火腿一样大汗淋漓，并不是我想追求的形象。接着，我们两人突然异口同声地认为，最棒的其实是那道芦笋丝配脆黑木耳（mu'er）的小配菜，几乎没怎么煮，只是焯水后拌入咸鲜的蒜味酱汁 (£7.50)。简单、俏皮、微甜且令人着迷。
那是一个炎热的夜晚，我没有点主厨推荐的麻辣牛短肋 (£21.50)，尽管这道菜似乎评价很高，因为我实在无法面对吃一样像支撑牛身体的结构横梁那样沉重的食物。我们也没有尝试烟熏焦香绿辣椒酱蒸整条海鲷 (£25.50)。但我们几乎尝试了其他所有菜品，这是一次胜利。它让我想起了一家已故且令人惋惜的餐厅——位于 Parkway 的 Mr Ji，同样是一家主打中国菜的年轻、时髦的小酒馆。Mr Ji 没能挺过“当前气候”的恐怖冲击，但我确信这家店能挺过去。因为你每个月都会去两次的，对吧？
下周：雨果·里夫金德（Hugo Rifkind）带我去一家苏格兰餐厅（开玩笑的。没人想看那个）。■
Jiaonest
230 Kingsland Road, London E2 (jiaonest.life)
烹饪 8
故事 8
药膳 9
评分 8.33
价格 每人 £50（不含饮品）。
《泰晤士杂志》
53
树立更安全梯子的标准
HENCHMAN®
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汤姆·佩克
“我开始每天穿完全相同的一套衣服。这并非邋遢——而是纯粹的天才之举”
今年夏天，起初是偶然，后来是刻意，我进入了一套我称之为“全套衣橱”（Total Wardrobe）的系统。“全套衣橱”的第一条规则——而且它只有这一条规则——就是我每天穿的所有东西，毫无例外，全部完全相同。而我对此简直爱极了。
我的“全套衣橱”之旅始于几个月前，当时我在网上发现了一组三件装海军蓝保罗·史密斯（Paul Smith）T恤的特价商品。价格实在太诱人了（三件共£25），以至于在第一批货到达之前，我又订了一组。后来我弄丢了第二组，于是买了第三组，但随后又找到了丢失的那组，所以现在我有九件，而且从那时起我就没穿过别的。正如瑞基·贾维斯（Ricky Gervais）和布洛比先生（Mr Blobby）所发现的那样，这是一种极高妙的生活方式。
唯一让我担心的是，校门口的其他家长可能会认为我只有一件衣服，并且在连续三次打破纪录的热浪中，我已经连续一个月每天穿着它。我想不出有什么微妙的方法能让他们知道我其实有很多件，除非写一篇报纸专栏，然后把链接发到班级WhatsApp群里。
自从这场T恤革命以来，我以一种类似“死星”般的破坏力清理了我的衣橱。上个月这个时候，里面还有六条斜纹棉布短裤。我决定选出最喜欢的一款，买了两条相同的，然后把剩下的全部扔掉。糟糕的是，它们也是深海军蓝色的，就像我的两顶完全相同的深海军蓝帽子一样。当你把这整套行头配上我的两副完全相同的黑色雷朋（Ray-Ban）眼镜时，这意味着我整个夏天穿得就像那些在2016年欧洲杯马赛伏击英格兰球迷的俄罗斯国家支持的流氓一样，尽管可以说我的肌肉量要少那么一点。
“全套雷朋”其实有点风险。有好几次我去学校接女儿，回到家才发现一副眼镜戴在眼睛上，另一副戴在头上。另一个问题是，现在每次我打开笔记本电脑，都会收到保罗·史密斯T恤的广告，所以我没能克制住自己，又买了一组浅蓝色的，严格规定仅用于度假，然后还让我两岁的儿子也加入其中。两周前在希腊度假时，我们经常穿着配套的衣服，在其他酒店客人的眼中，我们可能像是一对极不寻常的韩国蜜月夫妇。
到目前为止，“全套衣橱”中最令人满足的部分是“全套袜子”（Total Sock）。毫不夸张地说，“全套袜子”改变了生活。在几个圣诞节前，我因为不小心没带袜子，不得不通过亚马逊Prime给岳父母家寄九双纯黑色普林格（Pringle）袜子。不知怎么地，我现在还剩八双，于是我又买了四双，所有其他袜子现在都被放逐了。
你可能认为这意味着我有12双相同的袜子，但你错了。我没有“双”袜子。我已经超越了“袜子对”这个概念。现在，每一只袜子都可以，而且确实在与它选择的任何一只袜子配对，然后在第二天立刻寻找另一个追求者。我的袜子抽屉就是一个自成一体的“伍德袜音乐节”（Woodsock Festival）。它甚至比那更狂欢，因为里面的每个人都是一个彻头彻尾的“全袜性恋者”（pansocksual）。
“全套人字拖”同样是个赢家，但老实说，我几乎在整个成年生活中都在遵守这条规则。我在二十多岁时就意识到，如果你一直买同一款海军蓝哈瓦亚娜（Havaianas），那么每双鞋的寿命会延长一倍，而且我坚持了整整二十年。当“人”字断了，买双新的但保留“拖”字，然后当“拖 2.0”报废时，让最初的那个“拖”回归，然后砰！你又可以穿人字拖了。这真的是天才之举。就像特里格的扫帚（Trigger’s broom）一样，只不过是用在鞋类上。
“全套内裤”是我坚持了很久的另一套系统。最近我在亚马逊的购买记录中发现，自2009年以来，我一直以像节拍器一样精准的规律购买同一款凯文·克莱因（Calvin Klein）三条装黑色内裤。有些人如果想为失去的十年经济潜力而感到沮丧，会去查看房价，但我的内裤讲述了一个更加凄凉的故事。
毫不夸张地说，在过去的16年里，三条装凯文·克莱因内裤的价格上涨幅度几乎与我的收入增长完全同步。但我现在步入中年，正处于事业巅峰。我可以在一周内毫不犹豫地买九件大幅打折的T恤。但年轻人怎么做？他们怎么买得起内裤？这有点令人担忧。你不能把所有问题都归咎于牛油果吐司。
我越来越意识到冬天快到了，这将挑战我对这种新生活方式的忠诚度。“全套连帽衫”我肯定会尝试，牛仔裤也是，但毛衣？西装外套？奇诺裤？工作衬衫？大衣？我还没完全决定，但别担心，我会随时告知你们。■
罗伯特·克兰普顿（Robert Crampton）不在岗
汤姆·佩克与两岁儿子在希腊
© Times Media Limited, 2026. Published and licensed by Times Media Limited, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF (020 7782 5000). Printed by Walstead Bicester Ltd, Oxfordshire. Not to be sold separately.
58 《泰晤士杂志》
--。
《泰晤士报》活动
凯特琳·莫兰谈如何保持希望
欢迎参加一个极其幽默且令人振奋的夜晚，《泰晤士报》专栏作家凯特琳·莫兰将登上舞台，开启其全国巡演的伦敦站。凯特琳将与她的朋友兼同事——泰晤士电台主持人雨果·里夫金德进行对话，共同探讨她至关重要的新书《如何保持希望：尝试在一年中减轻对世界的糟糕感》（How to be Hopeful: A Year of Attempting to Feel Less Awful About the World）的主题。
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THE 4TH TIMES
CAITLIN MORAN WHO'LL BE IN MY WILL?
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15.08.26
HE'S WITH THE BAND! GIVE IT UP FOR DAMIAN LEWIS!
The actor on surviving loss and making music By Will Hodgkinson
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5 Caitlin Moran I'm updating my will. Time to settle old scores. 7 What I've learnt I was told that beauty is a powerful currency for a woman, says Katie Piper. 8 Cover story Damian Lewis As the actor releases his new album, he tells Will Hodgkinson about his lifelong love of music. 14 I trapped my abuser How one woman risked her life to get her abusive partner convicted. 20 From Love Island to global podcaster Meet Chris Williamson, the man behind Modern Wisdom, one of the world's biggest podcasts. 24 Generation Pain What explains the rise in young people living with chronic pain? 27 Eat! My encounter with Anthony Bourdain, plus his French recipes. 38 The spy who loved me Ben Macintyre on the extraordinary life of Micky Burn, Times journalist, war hero and lover of double agent Guy Burgess. 44 The millionaire fashion influencer She began blogging as a student. Now Victoria Magrath has her own business empire. 49 Pout! The best lightweight make-up for summer. 51 A foodie's top kitchen cheats Save time and effort with 12 shortcuts. 52 Giles Coren reviews Jiaonest, London E2. 58 Beta male: Tom Peck I wear the same outfits every day. It's genius. Robert Crampton is away
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CAITLIN MORAN
I'm updating my will – which means that I can finally settle some old scores
I set aside a day to chew through the kind of paperwork one mentally files under 'Awful Grown-Up Tedium'. Mortgage stuff, life insurance, warranties. Everything you'd file in a box labelled 'Boring – Until Something Dreadful Happens. Then Vital'.
Having resentfully yet efficiently dealt with it all, I finally found, at the bottom of the Boring Box, my will – dusty and untouched since the day it was stamped and sent back to me in 2001. Mindful that a will should be regularly updated, I took a look at it – and was horrified to see that, as 'executors', I'd put a TV presenter I haven't talked to in 17 years and a vicar who has subsequently moved to Australia.
Not the ideal people to deal with my grieving children, and solicitors – based in Chester – if and when I croak.
'This will needs updating!' I said. 'Doing this will be my final, and biggest, piece of Boring Admin for today.'
Nine hours later, I can admit, I was both disconsolate and peeved. As the previous will was knocked out when my first child was just six weeks old – in an anxious, postpartum rush – it was a very standard, boilerplate affair. It didn't feel very... personal. It simply said that, if I died, everything went to Pete – and if he died, in the same terrible shark attack as me, everything went to the kids.
After flicking through the first, dull few pages, I decided that Will 2026 was going to be a much more detailed and emotional affair – like the kind of 19th-century wills that are read out aloud in Dickens and Austen. Full of florid tributes to unexpected beneficiaries ('To my devoted and faithful DPD deliveryman – an umbrella! To protect you from the vicissitudes of north London's unseasonable weathers, which harry your noble duties'), and the odd drive-by grudge ('To the GP who described my breasts as 'lumpy' – absolutely nothing! Save a moment to reflect on your language, which I also find to be 'lumpy'')
And, most importantly, tender and personal bequests. I wanted loads of tender and personal bequests. You know the kind of thing: 'To my gentle and fair sister Cheryl – my ivory haircombs and seed-pearl fob watch. To my friend Lauren – my morocco-bound copy of Rasselas, and the ormolu inkpot. And to Nadia – the dowager's cottage, in the county of Salop, in memory of all the merry evenings spent
I try to write a list of my precious objects to bequeath. But all I have is a picture that Jamie Oliver drew for me and an email from David Bowie
taking draughts of laudanum on the ha-ha.'
I wanted that kind of will very badly. However, as I walked around the house with a notepad, to write down a list of all my most precious and unusual objects, I reached the final bedroom – page still embarrassingly empty.
How, in the past 51 years, have I collected no fabulous and personal objects? Sure, I've got stuff – a very big colander, Le Creuset mugs, an air fryer – but it's the stuff everyone has. You don't bequeath that. Bequests are lapis lazuli brooches, elephant-foot umbrella stands, the ship's bell from HMS Invincible. I have none of those.
After a three-hour deep-dive, the most 'precious and unusual' objects I could find were a) a Hole access-all-areas tour laminate from 1993; b) a picture Jamie Oliver drew of the inside of his head, explaining that 80 per cent of his thoughts were 'cheese'; and c) an email from David Bowie, where he said, 'That's my girl!'
As much as I treasure all these things, it would be hard to bequeath them. I mean, the email was just... an email. Even if I print it out and put it in a frame, it doesn't feel very bequeathable. Presumably we're now in an era where many people have, rather than boxes of foolscap correspondence, 'precious' emails on their phones – but those aren't going to be snapped up by the Bodleian Library archive, as and when they die.
Francis Crick's letter to his son, explaining what DNA is, sold at auction for $6 million. Rainer Maria Rilke's correspondence with a young writer was eventually published as the immortal Letters to a Young Poet.
Given this, my 2010 text from Jon Ronson – 'Where are you? We're by falafel stall' – sent when we lost each other at Glastonbury, seems very... mortal, and unlikely to be published, as part of a volume, for the future inspiration of others.
That's why, in the end, I left the will as it is. Even the terribly out-of-date executors. If I can't leave any of my loved ones precious and unusual objects, at least I can leave them with a precious and unusual diversion from their – doubtless paralyzing – grief: ringing a very confused showbiz agent and asking them, 'Could you contact your client, and inform them that they are needed to work out which of Caitlin's seven siblings gets the air fryer, and who gets the Le Creuset mugs? I'm sorry. It's just – she seems to have forgotten to update her will.'
ROBERT WILSON
The Times Magazine 5
Virgin Atlantic Holidays have got your Wild West road trip ready.
But not just the premium flights. Or the luxury wheels.
We've mapped out the sunset hike; the midnight stargazing; and found golden hour views so gorge you might end up missing that off-the-beaten-track dinner reservation.
It's enough to make you 'yee' a little 'haw'.
So the only thing you need to ask yourself is...
What I've learnt Katie Piper
Katie Piper, 42, grew up in Hampshire. In 2008, when she was 24, an acid attack by her ex-boyfriend damaged her face and left her partially blind in one eye. The 2009 documentary Katie: My Beautiful Face was nominated for a Bafta. Her Katie Piper Foundation supports burns survivors and she was appointed OBE for services to charity in 2022. She has presented two documentaries about prisons and published several books. She has two daughters with her husband, Richard.
After the attack, my face was an idiot filter. Because I would never attract a man who might fall out of love with me because I've aged or gained weight, or because he meets a younger model – he just wouldn't fancy me in the first place.
When I was growing up, I was told that beauty is one of the most powerful currencies a woman can possess. So when you've lost your beauty, what now? I've learnt that being the most confident woman isn't about being the best-looking woman in the room.
People put a picture of me into AI and said, "Make her normal, perfect, beautiful." Is what they did morally or ethically wrong? I don't know. Did it hurt me? No. Would it hurt someone else who didn't have 20 years of rebuilding confidence and self-esteem? Yes, I think it would.
My mum supported me in hospital. And she has had her own medical journey with cancer. My mum is very stoic – silent but strong. She is not like this [new] generation that would write all their feelings on the internet. I watched her endure lots of things and be very graceful. It inspired me to be like that.
Overall, I don't believe in the incarceration of women. [Piper presented the documentaries Locked Up in Louisiana and Jailhouse Mums.] I believe in rehabilitation, in other programmes to support and empower women, to get them well again mentally and physically. Often women are defending themselves in domestic violence situations, they have no previous criminal record and in a moment of self-defence they commit murder or serious assault.
I would never say to a burns survivor, "It's what's on the inside that counts. You're beautiful anyway." Because that isn't the truth of the world we live in. Dating now mostly relies on digital apps and photos where those of us who don't fit that box of symmetry may be rejected on a headshot. So it's really unfair to tell people that lie. That doesn't equip them for the world.
I felt close to a lot of the women lifers in prison. I really believe that all of us are one bad decision or one bad day away from that happening to us. We got Parkrun into the prison and we were doing 5ks around the grounds.
INTERVIEW Georgina Roberts
When my career looks like it's going really well, my kids are closer to my husband, and I don't know what bedtime story they like or what's going on at school. But if I'm at home doing Plasticine and baking cakes, I am envious of my colleagues, feeling insecure and worrying that other people have opportunities that I missed out on.
We tried to have a third child, but it just didn't happen. We tried for two and a half years. I was getting into my forties and I was like. I don't want to be 60 at the school gates, so maybe we should stop. We gave up and adopted a puppy instead.
There's a lot of misinformation and scaremongering on social media.
My biggest worry is that people are dehumanising others. That's dangerous. We always need to lead with empathy.
I've never been so financially secure. I've never been so successful professionally. My forties are my heyday.
My husband doesn't need a lot of attention – he's not like me. When I got the OBE, they only let you take one person. My husband wasn't around when the reason for my charity work took place [the 2008 acid attack], so he kindly stood down and said, "I shouldn't be your plus-one. It should be your mum or your dad." It was a really good thing to do with Mum, to give her back something that was joyful.
I fell into the trap of my career becoming my identity before I had kids. I learnt the hard way that jobs and TV shows end, book deals might not get renewed, and people change their minds about you. ■
Still Beautiful: Embracing Age with Power and Purpose by Katie Piper (DK Red, £10.99) is out now in paperback
The Times Magazine 7
'I ENJOY MUSIC
BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT
HENRY V,
YOU'RE NOT
HENRY VIII.'
He's one of the nation's greatest actors, with starring roles from Wolf Hall to Homeland – so why is Damian Lewis touring Britain's clubs in a van? Will Hodgkinson finds out
Damian Lewis, 55, photographed by
Tom Jackson. Styling: Free White
When one of the great actors of his generation, who made his name bringing Tudor paranoia to Henry VIII in Wolf Hall and inner conflict to the American marine turned al-Qaeda operative Nicholas Brody in Homeland, releases an album, the first question you are drawn to ask is: why?
"If it's not too bold a claim," Damian Lewis says, "I would like to release some beauty into the world. It's an 18th-century idea: making a piece of work that might just illuminate and transcend, and I feel I have something to say. It's not easy, but a play, a novel or a song can achieve that."
Lewis is a man with a certain solidity about him. Over lunch at Shoreditch House in east London, during a winding conversation that takes in early adventures in music, the roles that have defined him, the death of his actress wife, Helen McCrory, and the forces that drew him to make albums in his fifties, he emanates an old-fashioned strain of Englishness: well mannered and rather stoic, but with a sensitivity that lies hidden under that carapace of propriety. After all, old Etonians don't typically let it all out on songs about love, lust, motorbike crashes and, as Louis MacNeice put it in his poem Snow, the drunkenness of things being various. They all feature on Sweet Chaos, his follow-up to 2023's Mission Creep, on which he made his album debut at 52. As it turns out, making music is an itch that Lewis has been trying to scratch for a long time.
"I was learning classical guitar when I was 12, 13 and I wanted to sing and play," Lewis says of his new, or perhaps old, second career at 55. "And I was busking. At 18, 19, 20, 21 I hopped on a motorbike, took a tent and went round Europe in the summer. I could run from Bowie to the Beatles, from Elvis to Bob Marley... A smorgasbord of well-known songs."
Like so many of us with a reasonable amount of comfort to fall back on have done at some point or another, Lewis was living the bohemian dream: singing for his supper, travelling on his own, making enough money to go from town to town while staying in campsites along the way. "In Avignon, during the theatre festival, I would set up on the river and everyone coming back late at night, drunk or whatever, would sit down and listen. I would be playing to about 100 people and it was fantastic."
In other words, before joining the Royal Shakespeare Company in 1997 and setting off on his life's path, Lewis was a roving troubadour. "I was listening to loads of fifties rockabilly – Carl Perkins, Eddie Cochran, Elvis Presley – and that's what I was trying to get out of a
'There were songs that were unquestionably about Helen, but it was not an act of therapy'
With his wife, Helen McCrory, in 2013
voice and an acoustic guitar. You listen to Elvis's Mystery Train and it's unbelievably rhythmic. It was my first love, and the first album came from that place."
It would be easy to dismiss Lewis's musical turn as an indulgence, a midlife crisis or, perhaps, as I suggest to him, a form of therapy after the death of McCrory in 2021. He says it was more a case of taking up acting as the (slightly) less risky career option. When he was growing up in St John's Wood in north London, the son of an insurance broker father and a mother who served on the board of the Royal Court, the theatre had a more respectable tinge to it than dreams of rock, or at least singer-songwriter, glory.
"At school I always acted, always sang, always played an instrument. I think because of the culture in which I grew up, of private schools and my parents being theatregoers, it seemed like the right option," he says. "I don't think there was a fork in the road; it wasn't that dramatic. From the age of 16 I felt I wanted to be an
actor. My parents were very cool about it and I went to drama school instead of uni. It was the thing that was most knowable, and while I loved doing music, I had no real contact with it beyond being in school bands and busking. It was a passion that would sit alongside the thing I'd make money doing."
Nor was Eton the hotbed of theatrical talent it is sometimes portrayed as, with former pupils Eddie Redmayne, 44, Tom Hiddleston, 45, Dominic West, 56, and Hugh Laurie, 67, spread across the school's alumni over two decades. "Out of 250 people leaving school that year, there were only two people who wanted to do anything in the arts," Lewis points out. "The other guy is called Gresby Nash and he also went to drama school, acted for a bit and became a musician and composer. Back then, stating that you wanted to be an actor felt like the Wild West – not an act of defiance as such, but there just wasn't anyone else doing it."
Coming from the establishment does mean Lewis can get under the skin of patrician figures. He plays Bernard "Monty" Montgomery in the forthcoming Pressure, a Second World War drama about the build-up to the D-Day landings, with Andrew Scott's meteorologist arguing against Montgomery and General Eisenhower's plans because of an impending storm. It's a film about Britain's finest hour in the war against Nazi Germany, but it's also about the weather. It doesn't get more English than that.
"There's no getting away from it: Pressure is a film about weather forecasts," Lewis accepts. "I had schoolboy knowledge of Monty, our great hero, besting Rommel, the Desert Fox, at Alamein. Then I did some reading around him and he was a complicated character: a man of a certain era and a certain class, repressed, maybe sexually, certainly emotionally. And he had a slightly complicated relationship with young men, whom he kept as pen pals. He married the first woman he had sex with, and then she died and he was never with another woman again."
When I suggest that Lewis's own need to express himself in song may have come from the repression brought by boarding school, given he was sent to Ashdown House in East Sussex at the age of eight, he rejects the idea as armchair psychology. But he does know that world and it shows in his acting. Lewis was never better than in his portrayal of Henry VIII as a godlike figure in Wolf Hall, beset with a complex mix of unquestionable authority and psychic torment – a bit like so many survivors of the public-school system, in fact.
"Stanislavski, in his book on acting, wrote about emotional memory: you borrow from your own life and attach it to whatever it is you're playing," Lewis
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10 The Times Magazine
As Bernard Montgomery in his new film, Pressure
confirms, when I ask if he draws on his own experience to inform his roles. "I don't do that consciously but there's no question it happens subconsciously, and acting is the imaginary journey you take to meet the character in the world he's in. Henry becomes increasingly paranoid. He's frustrated with his health and he feels the weight of being a monarch, which he believes is his divine right. But one of Henry's strengths was that he liked men of the world, like Wolsey and Cromwell. He promoted them. He elevated them. And then he killed them."
I put it to Lewis that he may share something of Henry VIII's approach. "Executions?" he inquires casually, catching my eye over a forkful of new potatoes. "Assassinations?"
I was thinking more of shaking off the shackles of fame and getting out on the road in a rock'n'roll band, just as Henry enjoyed the company of the sons of butchers and blacksmiths. "I was always putting together bands at the end of shoots, playing at the wrap party, and it's amazing how many musicians are now working in props or the sound department," he says by way of answer. "They pull out a bass, say, 'Yeah, I nearly had a record deal when I was 24,' and turn out to be incredibly talented. But you know how hard it is for musicians to make it."
Lewis's own break, musically speaking, came after he sang a handful of jazz standards on a Radio 2 show and a man in the audience called Steve Abbott, who is now his manager, suggested recording some material. "By then I was used to being an actor so it was quite left-field, but I thought: life is short. Why not? Now I've spent the past five years of my life making two albums and loving it."
Does he suffer from impostor syndrome? "I make most of my decisions out of instinct and it felt natural, so the answer is no. But to other people, looking
Playin' Henry VIII in Wolf Ball
in, the decisions you make might seem either courageous or foolish. I never feel that way. I had things I wanted to say and, although it was in a different medium, the central proposition is the same: telling stories to get to the nub of the thing that makes us all tick. There is a lot of cross-pollination."
When Lewis released the jazzy, languid,
With his partner, Alison Meashart of the Kills
'At 18 I was busking around Europe with a tent and a motorbike. It was fantastic'
With Claire Danes in Homeland
rather sad Mission Creep in 2023 it was just two years after the death of McCrory, mother to his children, Manon and Gulliver, now 19 and 18, when she was 52. "I started [writing songs on the album] before Helen died," he says, at the suggestion that her death prompted the need to make sense of it in song. "But if you accept that an album is like a journal, even if you're Bruce Springsteen and you're writing about New Jersey, it's going to be infused with where you are at the time. So yes, there are songs that are unquestionably about Helen, or loss, but it's not an act of therapy."
What was McCrory like? "She was a great actress with an artist's soul and way of thinking, and she was curious. And she loved Bob Dylan more than anyone." Was she encouraging of his new direction? "She was, but in all honesty she was ill by then and we were dealing with bigger things. There wasn't a lot of chat about it."
During the recording of that first album, there were times when Lewis thought he was hitting something euphoric and energised. It's only when he listened back to songs like Wanna Grow Old in Paris and She Comes, which are clearly about McCrory, that he saw how much his grief had affected the tone. "It must have been because of my state of mind, because I was fragile," he says. "Now I realise what a tender record it is. It's the same as making a movie: your own moods and personality infuse it, so it ends up as something you didn't necessarily intend. Occasionally I play back my first album and think, 'I really like that. I wonder who did it?''
This time round, Lewis has gone towards rock and folk with a bit of big-voiced balladry thrown in. The title track to Sweet Chaos, a portrait of a "charming man, never vulgar or rude", has shades of Scott Walker's overarching drama. "I think it's about relinquishing control in the
The Times Magazine 11
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chaos of life,” Lewis says of the song. “In grief, in chaos, all you can be is in the moment. You cannot control it and it is oddly freeing. On top of that, our minds have been scattered by the modern world and if you’re someone who is prone to anxiety about forgetting the thing you’re meant to do at the end of the week, it can be difficult. As my mum said: make lists.”
It’s not all big themes. Pentonville Prison is about a motorbike crash Lewis had on the London street of the title. Grey at the Temples is a sweet, folky tune about having a bad memory. And there is a jaunty song with the less than delightful title of Leech, the subject of which has made me rather nervous. “So we talk about the weather and you compliment my sweater and you ask me where I got my boots from,” it goes. “You say they look designer, must have cost more than a fiver, and I wonder where this question comes from.” A lot of actors are wary of journalists. Only a few of them immortalise a journalist’s duplicity in song.
“I don’t like dishonesty,” Lewis says of the experience, which sounds like a familiar scenario: lots of compliments during the interview and an unfavourable profile afterwards, or at least one that Lewis read as unfavourable. “This person behaved badly, so there’s a song. That’s all you need to know.”
Having a public profile clearly provides material to write about. Many years ago Lewis had a stalker, who showed up to first nights before ending up writing letters with increasingly violent threats. “In the end, the studio I was working with in Los Angeles put out an injunction and she left me alone,” Lewis says, when I ask if a song called No Man’s Land, with its words about love smelling like blood, is about the incident. “Actually it’s not about her, but it is my most paranoid song: love as an act of aggression. Love should always be wonderful, but there are periods in life when it is not. People reading this might think, ‘What a weirdo,’ but love can feel oddly hostile. It’s to do with one’s state of mind.”
These days Lewis has a new girlfriend,
Alison Mosshart, the Florida-born singer of the scuzzy rock duo the Kills. When I ask if she has been an influence, he says he would rather not talk about her beyond confirming that she’s been supportive of his new direction. What he will say is that he has signed up for the privations of the touring life, with its motorway service station meals and pitiful fees, at least as much as acting commitments allow. He’s off again in October, doing it, he says, for the love of the music.
“We get in the back of a van and go
charging across the country,” he says. “Typically I’m playing before 250-400 people, and I really enjoy it because you’re not Henry V, you’re not Henry VIII: you’re just you. And it has to wash its own face. That’s what you step into, slightly unwittingly. I just wanted to write some songs and now, with everyone in the band getting paid, I’m running a business. I’m not touring like Oasis. It’s playing the clubs and travelling in a splitter van. We’re playing at the Garage [in London, October 14]. You can come, Will. Abandon your big revival concerts. Slum it with the real people.”
I can indeed, although one of the real people I’ll be slumming it with is Damian Lewis, star of Band of Brothers, Homeland, Billions and many, many more. He has to admit, he does have a leg up over the average singer-songwriting hopeful.
“Well, that might be good once,” he concludes. “But in the long run it’s unhelpful.” Because you’ve got to prove more? “I think so.” And with that, Damian Lewis picks up the bill for the both of us. ■
Sweet Chaos is out now. Damian Lewis is on tour from October (damian-lewis.com). Pressure is in cinemas from September 9
TOM JACKSON, JOSEPH LYNN, JACKET, JIM ANDERSON, JOHN TROUSERS, DORCOM BOOTS, JIMMYCHOCOM, HAT, LOCKHATTERS, CO. UK
‘Making music was left-field, but life is short’
The Times Magazine 13
I RISKED MY LIFE TO GET MY ABUSIVE PARTNER CONVICTED — AND JAILED FOR 23 YEARS
Lucy Godley's partner seemed like a loving, caring man. But when she fell pregnant, he embarked on a horrifying campaign of physical and sexual abuse. Fearing for her life, she and her mother carried out a secret and dangerous plan that would, eventually, save her
Louise Carpenter reports
Lucy Godley, 25.
photographed by
Gabi Ohaeda
God Bless
the taste of a glass and a half
W
hen Lucy Godley went into labour in December 2021, two weeks early, no questions were asked about why. She was 24, she delivered her daughter naturally with an epidural and she appeared to have a loving partner who held her hand throughout. Less
than an hour later, with her baby lying beside her in the hospital bassinet, the new mother sensed that danger loomed. Her boyfriend's mood flipped. His eyes had blackened. Deranged accusations of sexual infidelity would follow.
'I could feel it coming,' she remembers. 'I thought, 'Should I ask the nurses for help? Do I say something?' The nurse left the room and her boyfriend, that same man who had put on a loving show during labour, assaulted her in the hospital bed as their baby lay by her side. He assaulted her later too in their bedroom after they drove their daughter, Lyla, home in her car seat. She was a 'slag' and 'slut' and the baby wasn't his. 'It wasn't even an hour later,' she says of the hospital attack. 'He then started crying. He used to just flip. It's hard to describe but he would look totally different. His pupils would change and when I saw those big black pupils I'd think, 'Oh my God.' And as the assaults got worse and he got away with them, I think he got a thrill out of it. The antenatal unit had seen I was covered in bruises but I explained them away as being the results of seizures.'
Those seizures, however, had been brought on by chronic stress, starting shortly after his first acts of violence towards her in the summer of 2021 when she was 20 weeks' pregnant, 'when he knew I was stuck with him'. He kicked her in the legs with steel-capped boots, strangled her and bit the backs of her arms. It was just the start.
She had begun dating him in January 2021, her 23, him 21, both from Portsmouth, on the rebound from a recently ended relationship with the father of her two-year-old son, Arthur (they successfully co-parent Arthur). She knew of her new boyfriend through friends. Nobody spoke of any history of violence. Nobody knew of any propensity for rage. 'It was green flags all the way,' she says. 'He was loving, held doors open for me, wanted to pay for meals and above all was wonderful with my son. When I told him that my son mattered more than anything else, he was completely in agreement.'
Domestic abuse is common in the UK. Figures from the charity Refuge show that one in four women in England and Wales will experience abuse in their lifetime. On average, one woman is killed by an abusive partner every five days in
Another of the images used as evidence
'The first thing on your mind when you are being assaulted is survival. Quite literally'
England and Wales, and the police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds. And yet it is estimated that fewer than 24 per cent of domestic abuse cases are reported. Crown Prosecution Service figures for last year (ending March 2025) show that 74.7 per cent of cases brought to court were successful (41,070 convictions), but 13,917 cases were not successful; 2,167 of these were acquittals and 6,624 unsuccessful cases were seen as 'victim-related', either through a victim backing out – probably out of fear – or through non-attendance. A further 4,191 were as a result of conflicting evidence or 'missing legal elements'.
The success rate is encouraging but there are thousands of examples where lawyers working for women are unable to get cases over the finish line. They provide context for the story that Lucy Godley, now 29 and finally free of the man who she feared would kill her, is brave enough to tell.
As of March, and after a harrowing two-week trial, her attacker is now in prison for 23 years, guilty of 10 out of 11 counts of violence, including sexual violence, against her. Her case illustrates not just her bravery and resilience, but also how even when she feared for her life she had a full, bleak understanding of how the system was stacked against her and what was needed. She began gathering the evidence in a well thought-through plan also involving her mother. She knew it was necessary if she had any chance of putting him away. She was right.
She collected photos and videos of her wounds and injuries and stored them
in a secret file; these photos showed her often minutes after an attack, or later, black and blue, and were sent to her mother as part of their plan. Her attacker found those pictures on her phone after six months and deleted the lot. 'But I had plenty more I'd been sending.'
As a victim, she is far from alone. Only recently, a woman in the southwest who was beaten unconscious had the foresight to hide her phone in a flowerbed after dialling 999 just beforehand. The operator thought she was hearing the woman being beaten to death on the line. How has it come to this? The footage shows officers arriving to ask, 'Is she still breathing?'
Today, the newborn baby from that hospital room is playing outside the room where Godley and I talk. She is now four and she pushes a pram with a doll in it, playing mother. She has no idea of what life was like for her own mother when she was the size of the doll and being pushed in a pram. Godley's son is now seven. They all still live in Portsmouth. An indefinite restraining order is in place. Godley's abuser will not see his daughter unless she decides to contact him once she reaches 18.
Between the summer of 2021, when Godley was 20 weeks' pregnant, through to October 2023, she was regularly beaten. Her head was smashed with a glass diffuser, its contents poured over her face causing burns. From the summer of 2022, she was sexually assaulted as part of the violence, for which she needed hospital care but never sought it.
Her abuser's sentence of 23 years comprised not an amalgamation of years for the abuses involved in the separate counts but one whole sentence of 22 years for the last attack. This involved a steak knife that was held at her neck on the kitchen floor while he carried out a brutal sexual assault. It was considered to be so serious that, when issuing the ruling, the judge went to the 22-year ceiling of the sentencing bracket. The one additional year, taking the total to 23, was for witness intimidation. Her ex-boyfriend had issued death threats to her and her family.
'That last time, I wasn't scared of dying for myself,' she says. 'I was scared of him killing me and my children being the ones who found my body. That's what I told the judge.' Her abuser is now appealing against both his conviction and sentence.
Godley has a huge following on social media, built from posting content she made initially as therapy for herself and is now free to share online. Doorbell footage of her friends returning to her home to tell her of the guilty verdict shows her collapsing into their arms in relief. It went viral with 21 million views. After living in such darkness for so long, Godley, through her posts, is trying to bring domestic abuse into the daylight, exposing it for what it
LUCEY/GODLEY/INSTAGRAM
The Times Magazine 17
is so that other women feel less alone: 'I'm about helping others now.'
She is free now but distrustful of the court system. 'Individual police officers were brilliant but ultimately it is the victim who is on trial, not the perpetrator.' She almost walked away from the trial and, she says, 'The only time I ever felt safe was when he was in prison.'
Her win was about as good as it could have been, but it came as a result of putting herself at immense risk. In gathering a body of evidence with the help of her mother, Sharon, she essentially turned into a detective on her own case. And in the process she and her mother became very ill.
'The first thing on your mind when you are being assaulted is survival,' Godley says. 'Quite literally. You don't naturally think, let's get my phone out and record this. You are always safety planning. When he is strangling you, you are thinking, how do I get his fingers from my throat? When he is throwing something at you, you don't think, I'm taking a picture.'
Except she saw that you have to think like that to escape in the long term, 'because there is no life with him'.
By the second part of 2022, Godley had reached breaking point. Her boyfriend controlled her movements, had access to her bank account and restricted her contact with others. Her mother had suspected what was happening much earlier but Godley had denied it.
Eventually, she confessed. Her injuries were all over her face for everybody to see: black eyes, split lip – and there were the internal injuries nobody could see too. Godley came up with a plan. (The first time her mother saw the bruises during Godley's pregnancy, she became hysterical and wanted to phone the police. Her daughter convinced her she had fallen down the stairs.)
It would take Godley a year between 2022 and 2023 to secretly build the evidence she needed.
Godley is, of course, a victim of trauma, but today she is also defined by that act of bravery.
Her dossier of photographic evidence was later verified by the police to be genuine. It proved her case. And yet it feels bleak in what it reveals about British law and how much is demanded of domestic abuse victims in standing up their allegations.
'Of course, my mum wanted to go to the police. We argued about it all the time but I sat her down and said, 'I've hardly got any evidence. It's really hard to provide evidence of sexual assault.' I said, 'Mum, I've been on Google. I've been looking for help. We have to do this.' By then I understood the success rates for [convictions for] domestic violence
were so low [without proper evidence]. And I knew he'd make my life hell. He'd already threatened to kill me if I went to the police.
'Mum was heartbroken. But I said to her, 'Either you help me do this and we put him away or he will get worse.' It was very, very difficult for her. She lost so much weight. I was down to six stone too.
'She had to look at pictures of me with black eyes, burns on my face. She'd often have to put her phone down before going to bed after I'd sent her the latest picture. But she never slept. She told me later she'd always be weighing up: do I ring the police now and ruin [the plan] for Lucy? Or do I not ring the police and then one day get a call from them to say, 'I'm sorry, your daughter Lucy has been killed?'
'It's been really difficult for Mum. I know a lot of people have since [talked about] my bravery, but it's my mum's too. People have criticised her on social media since finding out what she did, saying, how could she have watched it play out? It's because of my mum that we got that 23-year sentence. She is my hero.'
'I'd plan ahead with my phone. I learnt to count his footsteps. If he went to the kitchen [after abusing me], I knew I'd have 20 seconds to take and send the picture to my mum. I'd keep my phone nearby. I knew I only had a tiny window.'
If she sensed an attack coming, she would try to set up her phone on record.
She stored her pictures in a secret Snapchat file. She does not advocate this for other victims because he caught her. It was exhausting trying to keep safe 24/7 while staying three steps ahead on evidence gathering.
'I had been ready to go to the police. He deleted the whole lot. That's when I started being under house arrest. He put a tracker on my phone. I didn't see my mum for three months.'
At her work at a care home, he would
turn up and get her into the smoking area where he would pinch her leg, a sign of control. 'There is such shame for the victim. As if somehow you have made them do this to you. You get told that a lot. And for a long time, I loved him. He'd show remorse. He would hold Lyla and say he'd protect her.' Until the next time.
'What he didn't know was that I'd been sending images to my mum. I phoned her and said, 'We need to be more careful. I am going to send you stuff as soon as I can and then delete it my end. Do not message me back asking if I'm OK. He might see your text and know what we are doing.'
Latterly, the police were involved. Some visits were prompted by neighbours hearing her screams. These were met by his denials and accusations that she was his abuser. He told her she'd lose her children. Then she began to call the police herself. 'Please don't say I called you,' she'd tell the operator. But the officers would arrive and say, 'We got a call from somebody called Lucy...' He'd be dragged away only to be released 24 hours later, leaving her in even more danger than she was before.
The scenes that Godley describes are beyond imaginable. After the last attack, before he was charged, he was hiding in a wardrobe. A police officer opened one door but not the other. They were called back again and finally found him hiding under the bed, but even then she had to tip off her friend who called 999 saying, 'Tell the officers he's hiding under the bed.'
Godley cries twice during our two hours together. Both times are prompted by thinking about what other people went through as a result of her abuse, mostly her mother but also her friends. She was numb for a lot of the time she was with him. When he was arrested, her mental health plummeted.
She lost a lot of friends as a result. It was too hard for them to watch her go back to him during the abuse. 'Yes,' she says, 'I did love him.' But she knows that it was the friendship group that she sent to court to hear the verdict that would have got her through had the outcome gone another way. 'I'd have felt suicidal, but I knew if they were with me, they'd have supported me.'
Her abuser's conviction is everything, 'particularly because I was believed on the sexual assault'. In October, she is running a half-marathon for Women's Aid.
'My friends came over in the heatwave. 'Look at you,' they said. 'What do you mean?' I asked. 'The back door is open!' And it was. I'm not frightened any more.' ■
Refuge can be contacted at refuge.org.uk; for Women's Aid, go to womensaid.org.uk. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247
18 The Times Magazine
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WINNER
2026 WORLD CAR AWARDS
WORLD CAR DESIGN OF THE YEAR
6
MAZDA
WARRANTY
FROM LOVE ISLAND
TO WORLD'S TOP PODCASTER
Chris Williamson is a former nightclub promoter from Teesside who appeared on the first season of Love Island. Now his podcast has been downloaded more than a billion times – making it one of the most influential in the world.
By Mark Smith
Chris Williamson, 38, photographed by Chris Davis. Opposite: on Love Island in 2015
OPENING SPREAD: BY SHUTTERSTOCK, THIS SPREAD: WENN, CHRISWELL, INSTAGRAM
To mark the billionth download of his interview podcast, Modern Wisdom, Chris Williamson rented the biggest digital video wall in Texas to recreate the dusty plains of a near-future American midwest: a homage to the Christopher Nolan film Interstellar, which stars
Matthew McConaughey.
The spectacular set was in honour of a star guest: McConaughey himself, who obliged Williamson with a two-hour conversation in which the pair discussed the MeToo movement (both think it inadvertently made good men feel ashamed of their masculinity) and the difference between being a nice guy and a good man, often finishing each other's sentences approvingly.
It became one of the most-shared episodes of Williamson's podcast. This viral 1,000th episode was a marker of how far Williamson, 38, a former model and nightclub promoter from Stockton-on-Tees, had come. It also spoke to the changed fortunes of podcasters. Podcasting now has cultural and political clout – and from its 'bootstrapped' beginnings in Williamson's bedroom in Newcastle, last year Modern Wisdom placed eighth in Spotify's global year-end chart.
Williamson is talking to me from his office in Austin, Texas, a city that has quietly become a magnet for podcasters, provocateurs and self-made media figures – among them Joe Rogan (number one on Spotify) and Andrew Huberman, both of whom have appeared on Modern Wisdom. Williamson is wearing a T-shirt, tight enough to explain how he became a cover model for steamy novels in the 'dark romance' genre. 'My mum asked for copies and she is not allowed to read them,' he says.
Modern Wisdom's core terrain is male self-improvement. The other, related, one is evolutionary psychology.
This can be controversial territory, especially when his podcast subjects are merchandised via clickbaity contractions ('Why Modern Women Are Failing') or clipped down to bald pronouncements about, say, declining birthrates. 'Evolutionary psychology and behavioural genetics are the two horsemen of the academic cancellation apocalypse,' he jokes, before adding, 'I'm not saying that because something is there, it's good. Analysis is not justification.'
One female critic recently wrote that the podcast 'features an impressive parade of contrarians and pseudo-experts'.
His guest list is cited by other critics as evidence of a particular worldview: Jordan Peterson, Douglas Murray and Konstantin Kisin – men who think men are unfairly maligned, biology is destiny
and progressive institutions have failed.
A weeks-long deep dive of his content on YouTube seems to have resulted in that platform thinking that I, a married gay man of 45, could be in the market for 'a bride from abroad'. But guests have also included the Democratic senator Bernie Sanders and the British porn star Bonnie Blue.
He has just signed a deal with Penguin, making him a stablemate of his hero, Alain de Botton, another repeat guest. Neutonic, the nootropic drink he co-founded, is stocked in Sainsbury's, Tesco and Walmart. He is preparing to bring his live show, Mostly Wise, to sold-out venues across the UK.
The unlikely wormhole into this universe was the ITV2 reality show Love Island. In the summer of 2015, Williamson, then 27, was the first contestant to walk through the doors of the Mallorcan villa when the revived format launched its first series. Williamson knew the cast of MTV's Geordie Shore via his work as a club promoter and DJ, and considered Love Island a shrewd career move, like ascending to 'the Champions League of being a professional party boy'.
On one of the weekly fallow days when there was no coupling up and minimal filming – when producers would instruct contestants to be 'as uninteresting as possible' – Williamson kicked back with a fellow contestant, Jordan, and explained at length the science of gravitational time dilation as described by the physicist Kip Thorne in his companion book to the aforementioned Interstellar.
'I'm not sure that is canonical garden-variety club-promoter chat,' Williamson says. What he did not know or had forgotten that day was that his microphone was live. When he emerged the following morning and went to the canteen, two sound engineers appeared at his shoulder, eager for more. 'The only thing you could guarantee wouldn't be broadcast was the only thing these people, who'd been listening to everything I'd said for three weeks, cared about,' he says. 'That was fascinating.' Is it too tidy to think of this as a lightbulb moment? Probably, he says. 'Life must be lived forwards,' he says, paraphrasing the 19th-century philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, 'but it only makes sense in reverse.'
At the time Williamson was growing up there, Stockton-on-Tees was notable for having the highest teen pregnancy rate in
He made enough to pay for his master's degree in cash – 'I handed over eight grand in a shoe box'
England. 'Then it lost that,' he says, with sardonic affection. He is the first person in his family to complete a university degree. His mother worked as a travelling marketing rep for Colman's Foods and Clintons Cards – 'a very independent, high-powered job for a woman to have through the Eighties', he notes. His father had left school at 16, 'no O-levels', and became a blue-collar engineer. 'I really had the two ends of the barbell.'
An only child, he was sensitive, introverted and, by his own account, 'chronically unpopular in school' and 'bullied quite a bit'. Cricket was his distinguishing feature. He played to such a high level that a sympathetic admissions tutor at Newcastle University reduced his entry requirements so he could play for the university team.
He arrived in Newcastle in 2006 to study business management. 'A lot of people were from significantly more highfalutin' institutions than I was: boarding school, private school. There weren't many that had come from the kind of background that I was from.' After freshers week left him broke, he found common cause with a neighbour in his quantitative methods seminar, Luke Betts from Hull, who suggested they get into flyering for local clubs (Betts is still his business partner today).
This was Williamson's first foray into a fruitful career in club promotion. He became a regional promoter for a brand of pub crawls across university towns called Carnage. 'Your T-shirt was your ticket and there were tasks on the back [for example]: swap shoes with a random.' In October 2009, a Sheffield Hallam student wearing one was photographed urinating on a poppy wreath on top of a war memorial during an event. It was, Williamson admits, a shameful episode and 'a f***ing headache' for Carnage. 'The T-shirt bar crawl and the lairy British culture has been muted by many things,' he says. 'People caring about health and the cost of living. But I think it's also the fact that you can be captured on camera and put on the internet for the rest of time.'
Carnage made him enough money to pay in cash for a master's international
22 The Times Magazine
He smuggled Viagra into the Love Island villa and was voted best torso (he didn't use the pills)
marketing. "Eight grand in a Converse shoebox," he says. "Put it down in front of the ladies in the admissions office, who looked at it in absolute horror." He says he ultimately became disenchanted with further education. "Uni was the set of train tracks that I was on, but the actual game that I was playing was that I wanted to be great at business."
By his mid-twenties he was running his own events across the northeast and spending "30 weeks a year in Ibiza". He was the modern multihyphenate: "DJ, commercial male model, promoter – basically all the red flags that you don't want in your future son-in-law," he says.
He smuggled five Viagra pills into the Love Island villa in the lining of his washbag. Despite being deemed, via a task where the girls created a photographic composite of the boys' parts, the male housemate with the best torso, he didn't find a use for his pills and was voted off in episode 16 for not having "come out of his shell". This was correct, he says, but not in the sense that was implied. What he was suppressing "wasn't lairiness, but sensitivity". He cried when he left – not for the girls ("I didn't have a single romantic emotion") but for his "boys".
Three years later, in June 2018, he made an episode of his fledgling tiny podcast about the experience of participating in Love Island. In the spoke in passing about Sophie Gradon, a contestant from season two whom he described as "cut from a similar cloth: a little bit mindful, a little bit introverted, keen intellectual interests". He said he knew she had been struggling. He predicted, with horrible accuracy, that the exposure the show generated would claim casualties. "There's going to be someone who goes on like me, plays a role... gets put on a pedestal and realises,
shit, the game is over and I can't take the costume off." Ten days after the episode went live, Gradon had died by suicide.
When I raise this with him, he goes quiet. "To hear that back is harrowing. The hairs on my arm are standing up," he says. He knew Gradon and considered her a friend. "She was the girlfriend of a friend of mine. She lived in the house behind my house a year before that." Then came the death of the season three contestant Mike Thalassitis and then the show's presenter, Caroline Flack, whom Williamson knew socially. "The environment of mass social media exposure for people who are not prepared for it – it's so unreal, so surreal if you're the kind of person who actually takes things to heart," he says.
"I burnt every bridge with ITV for doing that," he says of that podcast episode, recorded as soon as the non-disclosure agreement with the broadcaster had expired. But it got Modern Wisdom past the 1,000 YouTube subscribers required to monetise the account. "That was the handing off of an old world to a new one," he says. For the first 800 episodes, he "found every guest myself, wrote every script, recorded every ad read, mastered every audio file, designed every thumbnail. Up until one or
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two in the morning, repeatedly, for years."
The move to America was about "fishing where the fish are", according to Betts. When I ask Williamson about his admiration for Joe Rogan – still the "final boss" of his social anxiety, the man whose show makes his heart rate spike even now – I raise Rogan's repeated platforming of Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist who told the parents of Sandy Hook murder victims that their children's deaths were staged. Is that a line Williamson wouldn't cross? He is careful in his reply. He talks about "the law of large numbers" – implying that, with so many guests on his own show there are bound to have been some kooks. "There will be people that believe birds aren't real. There will be people that believe Antarctica doesn't exist." He does not quite answer the question. "Once you keep bringing people
back who have got claims and credibility issues," he eventually offers, "there's a different kind of culpability."
What he had not anticipated was a personal health crisis when the property he rented turned out to be riddled with mould. "My health deteriorated," he says. "I forgot words. One day I looked down and I'd forgotten how to tie my shoes. I couldn't bear the smell of standing water. I couldn't bear the smell of cut grass. I couldn't bear the sound of porcelain. This is all nervous system interacting with environment, being tuned up."
Over the past two years he has flown to Lithuania for natural killer cell infusions, to Mexico to spend three days in a hospital with a line in his jugular cleaning his blood, and to Vienna for what he calls "whole-body hyperthermia" – being held at a forced temperature of 40C for four hours to make the body inhospitable to microbes. "I've had two full-time jobs for two years," he says. "The mould and the show."
This chapter sits ambiguously with a man who has built a following on the rigours of self-improvement. On one hand, it's very on-brand: self-optimisation through cherry-picking from a menu that mainstream medicine hasn't necessarily validated. He has text access, he notes, to figures ranging from Gabrielle Lyon, a physician who specialises in "muscle-centric medicine", to Bryan Johnson, the tech millionaire attempting to biologically reverse his ageing at a cost of $2 million a year.
On the other hand, he has had to contemplate his limits. "I've been very gentle with myself for the past two years," he says. "I've trained less hard, pushed less hard. Slept more." He has begun to worry, he says, that the culture he helped to create has curdled into what he terms grindstop. "Sometimes personal development can feel like homework. You feel like you're never doing enough, no matter how hard you are working."
If footage from previous tours is representative, when the Mostly Wise tour reaches the UK in October, the post-show meet-and-greets (from £140 at the London Apollo) are likely to include people who credit him with saving their lives. One review on Ticketmaster attests to Modern Wisdom as "a world of comfort".
A recent episode, "The Painful Psychological Cost of Becoming a Dad", featured an interview with the clinical psychologist Dr Darby Saxbe. I ask Williamson whether he sees fatherhood in his future. He is 38 and unmarried, he replies, so a golden retriever is likely to come first. "I've spent a long time working on myself... I'm so excited for that adventure, when it happens," he says. But for now the goal is simple: "To have people feeling less alone." ■
The Times Magazine 23
'I've tried every painkiller and treatment, but every day I'm in debilitating, crippling agony'
GENERATION PAIN WHY ARE SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SUFFERING IN SILENCE?
The proportion of young people experiencing chronic pain has risen sharply – and it's not because they have 'gone soft'. Jack Burke, 31, right, who lives with constant shoulder pain, investigates
From left: Jack Burke
photographed by Tom
Jackson; Jenny Tong, 29,
and Will Catchpole, 31,
photographed by Tim Jobling.
Styling: Susie Lethbridge
Story continues on page 34
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PEOPLE SPECIAL
ANTHONY BOURDAIN'S
FRENCH CLASSICS
A new film celebrates the original bad boy chef, a true one-off with the recipes to prove it
I spiked an article by Anthony Bourdain long before he became famous. Years later, I still regret it, Tony Turnbull admits
Tony, the film released yesterday about a formative summer in the teenage life of Anthony Bourdain, will introduce the irascible American chef to a new audience more than eight years after he took his own life at the age of 61 while filming in France. It just shows that the writer, presenter, iconoclast and professional grouch is still able to draw us in from the other side of the kitchen door in the sky.
I have my own place as a footnote in his story. The Anthony Bourdain Reader, a collection of his unknown essays and writings published last year, included one piece about life in a US restaurant, which was described as having been commissioned by The Times of London but not published for unknown reasons. Now I can reveal that, yes, that reason was me. I'd spiked it.
In my defence, this was back in the mid-Nineties when Bourdain saw himself more as a writer of fiction than a chronicler of New York's culinary underbelly. Bone in the Throat, a satirical mafioso novel, was an all right book, but the piece he wrote to promote it felt too insidery and, if I'm honest, too far-fetched to land with British readers still in thrall to fine dining and country house hotels.
How I regretted that decision after the huge success in 2000 of his gritty memoir, Kitchen Confidential, in which he enthralled and terrified in equal measure as he described the chaotic, drug-fuelled yet deeply disciplined glamour of life in a professional kitchen. It encouraged a generation of misfits to sharpen their knives and try their luck as chefs.
Bourdain's immense popularity stemmed from his complete lack of pretence and his magnetic rock'n'roll sensibility. In an era dominated by polished celebrity chefs, Bourdain offered unvarnished truth, celebrating line cooks, dishwashers and street-food vendors over fine dining. A former heroin addict, he admitted that if the kitchen hadn't saved him, he'd have "ended up sticking up liquor stores".
He was also a master storyteller who changed the face of food and travel in programmes such as A Cook's Tour and No Reservations, where he approached the unfamiliar and bizarre with a gonzo-like enthusiasm. "The only thing I didn't eat was live monkey brain. I'm not going to torment a monkey for novelty, and I had
Anthony Bourdain
PREVIOUS SPREAD: ROMAS FOORD, GETTY IMAGES. THIS SPREAD: BOBBY FISHER, BOB GREEN, ROMAS FOORD, GETTY IMAGES
28 The Times Magazine
FRENCH BISTRO CLASSICS
no expectation that it would taste good," he once told me.
That was the thing about Bourdain: every time he spoke, the quotes tumbled out of his mouth fully formed. The next time I saw him it was with our own bad boy of the kitchen, Gordon Ramsay. I interviewed them together to ask about the tough love they showed to their staff and I have to say the New Yorker outgunned Ramsay at every turn.
"When you're chewing on your crew and utterly eviscerating them, it really does help if you do it well and with some style," Bourdain said in his deadpan 60-a-day baritone. "It's important for the recipient and the casual observer. You've got to get a bit creative."
He also loved to play up the street fighting that he felt inevitably came with the territory. "There have been a couple of interrogations that have been pretty brutal," he added in a cross between Tony Soprano and Liam Neeson. "The
'VEGETARIANS ARE FRIGHTENED, ANGRY, BITTER PEOPLE,' BOURDAIN TOLD ME
job needed to be done. I needed to break someone down right away. I happen to be very good at that."
Another time I emailed him for a piece I was writing about the growing fashion for vegetarianism, knowing he would be good for a counter quote to offset all the love and tolerance I was hearing.
"Vegetarians are frightened, angry, bitter people," he fired back within seconds. "It always stems from some traumatic event – 'My husband left me,' 'I got fired,' 'After my divorce I was looking for something different,' 'I dropped too much acid.' I often feel if it wasn't vegetarianism, it would be some other fundamentalist belief, and I hate orthodoxy of all kinds. If I find out someone is a vegetarian, it's like when you're dating and you go back to a girl's apartment and she goes to the bathroom, so you look through her record collection and you see the complete Billy Joel collection – I'm not there when she comes out of that bathroom."
So, a man of words, but also one of action and one who knew his onions, especially when it came to classic French cuisine. He developed his passion for gastronomy during childhood trips to France. After graduating from the Culinary Institute of America in 1978, he spent two decades battling in the high-pressure trenches of New York kitchens before finding his home in 1998 as executive chef at the French bistro Brasserie Les Halles in Manhattan, where he stayed for the next four years.
You can see for yourself his passion in these recipes taken from the book he wrote while there, Les Halles Cookbook, published in 2004. He talks the reader through everything from onion soup to veal tongue with madeira sauce, all delivered with his trademark knowledge, enthusiasm and underlying sense of menace.
1. SOUPE AU PISTOU
Serves 6 (overleaf). Total time: 2hr, plus soaking time
A French vegetable soup not unlike minestrone. Pistou is similar to pesto.
225g white beans (pinto, great northern or Tarbais are all good) 28ml olive oil - 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced as in Goodfellas 1 medium onion, diced small 450g seeded, chopped, fresh, ripe tomato 2 leeks, washed thoroughly and cut into 6mm slices - 2 small courgettes, diced small (remember to use only the outer parts of the courgettes and the yellow squash. Do not use the seed cavities; throw them out) 2 small yellow squash, diced small - I fennel bulb, diced small - 900ml light chicken stock or broth - 1 bouquet garni - 75g elbow macaroni
Pistou
- 1 bunch of fresh basil leaves, picked from stems, washed and dried
- 6 garlic cloves 120ml extra-virgin olive oil 112g grated parmesan cheese
Equipment
Large, heavy-bottomed pot, wooden spoon, ladle, mortar and pestle (or food processor, if you're criminally lazy)
First
The day before you make the soup, soak the beans in plenty of cold water for 24 hours. Since you have time, you might consider making your own chicken stock at this point.
The Times Magazine
29
Eat! ANTHONY BOURDAIN
Next day
- Put on some music. Drain and rinse the beans, then cook in either water or chicken stock until nearly done – meaning still a little hard in the middle. Do not cook the beans to mush, please. When ready, drain and rinse in cold water to arrest cooking. Put aside. You'll need them later. Do all your knife work, meaning the dicing, slicing and so on.
-
Now we are ready to begin the actual cooking. Right? You've got everything? Assemble your prepped ingredients in an organised fashion. You've got your "meez" together? Let's go...
-
In the large, heavy-bottomed pot, heat the olive oil. When the oil is hot, add the garlic and onion and sauté on low heat for a few moments to release the flavours. When the onion begins to clear and become translucent, add the rest of the vegetables and continue to sauté on low heat (sweating them) until slightly soft. Add the chicken stock or broth and the bouquet garni and bring to a quick boil on high heat, then immediately reduce the heat until you have a nice, gentle simmer. Add the elbow macaroni and continue simmering until it's nearly cooked through. Drop in the beans. Simmer, stirring occasionally,
remembering to skim, skim, skim with the ladle to remove scum and foam.
-
While the soup is simmering, make the pistou. In the mortar and pestle, grind and pound the basil and garlic together until it becomes a sludge-like paste. With a fork, slowly incorporate the olive oil a little at a time. Fold in the parmesan at the end. Season with salt and pepper. You can, I suppose, cheat and use a food processor for this; plenty of, if not most, restaurants probably do. But that would be wrong.
-
After about 30 minutes, when the soup is ready (meaning the macaroni and the beans are cooked through but not mushy or overcooked, still maintaining their structural integrity), whisk in your pistou, salt and pepper to taste, and serve immediately.
2. FAUX-FILET AU BEURRE ROUGE
Serves 4. Total time: 1hr 15 min
- 110ml red wine
- 1 shallot, finely chopped
- 225g butter, softened
- 1 sprig of flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 4 x 225g New York strip steaks (trimmed sirloin steaks)
- 1 tsp oil
Equipment
Small pot, mixing bowl, food processor, rubber spatula, clingfilm, brush, outdoor grill or grill pan
Make the red wine butter
- In the small pot, combine the wine and shallot and bring to a boil over high heat. Cook until the wine has almost completely evaporated, taking care not to let the shallot burn. Transfer the mixture to the mixing bowl and let cool. In the food processor, add the softened butter, the shallot wine mixture, the parsley and salt and pepper to taste. Mix well.
- Scrape the butter out of the food processor with the rubber spatula and place in the centre of a large piece of clingfilm. Gently form it into a 1-inch diameter log, shaping and squeezing and rolling it like you would roll a joint – or a nori roll. Don't worry – you can't mess it up. It's like Play-Doh: you can always go back and do it again. When you've got it right, twist the ends of the film tightly and refrigerate in the film until the butter is firm enough to slice.
Cook and serve the steaks
Take the steaks out of the refrigerator 10 minutes before cooking. Season the steaks with salt and pepper. Lightly brush them with the oil. Grill them, or cook them in the grill pan, to desired doneness. Put a slice of the red wine butter on each steak just before serving.
30 The Times Magazine
PHOTOGRAPHS Romas Foord
Eat! ANTHONY BOURDAIN
2
The Times Magazine 31
Eat! ANTHONY BOURDAIN
3
3. SKATE GRENOBLOISE
Serves 2. Total time: 20 min
Long thought of as a "trash fish", skate is one of the truly great seafood items: tender, sweet, well textured – and cheap. Which is why many chefs are evangelical about running it as a special. Removing the thick, rubbery skin is tricky, so have your fishmonger do the work...
- 56g flour
- 2 skate wings, skinned and boned out
- 4 tbsp butter
- 1 tbsp capers
- 112g croutons
- 1 lemon, juiced
- 1 sprig of flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
- 1 lemon, peeled, seeded and segmented (optional)
Equipment
Shallow bowl, sauté pan, fish turner or slotted spatula, serving platter
Prep
Put the flour in the shallow bowl and season it with salt and pepper. Dredge the fish in the flour and shake off the excess. Re-season the fish with salt and pepper.
Cook
In the sauté pan, heat 1 tbsp butter over medium-high heat. When the butter has foamed and subsided, add the fish
© Anthony Bourdain, 2004. Recipes extracted from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook: Strategies, Recipes, and Techniques of Classic Bistro Cooking, published by Bloomsbury
and cook over high heat for 2 minutes. Add 1 more tbsp butter and turn the fish, cooking the other side for 2 minutes. Transfer the fish to the serving platter.
Finish
Discard the butter from the pan and then add the remaining 2 tbsp butter. Cook over high heat until it foams and subsides, then add the capers and croutons. Cook for 30 seconds, then add the lemon juice and parsley. (You can add the lemon segments at this point as well.) Remove from the heat and spoon the sauce over the fish.
4. MOULES NORMANDE
Serves 4. Total time: 1hr
- 112g slab bacon, cut into 1cm cubes
- 4 tbsp butter
- 1 shallot, thinly sliced
- 6 small white mushrooms, thinly sliced
- Half an apple, cored, peeled and cut into small dice or chunks
- 75ml good calvados
- 225ml heavy cream
- 2.7kg mussels, scrubbed and debearded (just before cooking)
Equipment
Small pot, large pot with lid, wooden spoon
Cook
- In the small pot, cook the bacon over medium-high heat until the meat is brown and the fat has been rendered, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally to avoid sticking. Discard the fat and reserve the meat.
- In the large pot, heat the butter until it foams. Add the shallot and cook until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the mushrooms and the apple and cook for 5 minutes, then stir in the calvados, scraping the bottom of the pot with the wooden spoon to dislodge any good brown stuff that might be clinging there. Stir in the cream and season with salt and pepper.
- Once the mixture has come to a boil, add the mussels and cover. Cook for 10 minutes, or until all the mussels have opened. Shake. Cook for another minute. Shake again. Serve immediately.
5. TARTE ALSACIENNE
Serves 8. Total time: 2hr
- 3 tbsp butter
- 75g sugar
- 4 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1cm slices
- 4 eggs
- 110ml milk
- 110ml heavy cream
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 x 25cm prebaked shortcrust pie case
32 The Times Magazine
Equipment
2 baking sheets, 2 sheets of parchment paper, large mixing bowl, whisk, small saucepan
Prep the apples
Preheat the oven to 150C. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and grease the paper with 1 tbsp butter. Sprinkle the paper with 1 tbsp sugar and arrange the apples on the paper so that they do not overlap. Cut the remaining 2 tbsp butter into very small pieces and dot the apples with the butter. Sprinkle another 1 tbsp sugar over the apples and bake in the oven for about 40 minutes, or until the apples are soft but still holding their shape. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
Prep the custard
In the mixing bowl, combine the eggs and the remaining sugar and whisk. In the small saucepan, combine the milk, cream and vanilla extract and bring it to a boil. Remove this mixture from the heat and slowly add it to the egg mixture, whisking constantly until it is all incorporated and the mixture is slightly thickened.
Assemble
Increase the oven heat to 180C. Line the other baking sheet with parchment paper and place the piecrust on it. Arrange the apple slices in a circular pattern in the crust. The apples should fill up the shell. Pull the oven rack out halfway and place the baking sheet and crust on the rack. Now, carefully pour the custard mixture into the piecrust, filling to the top but not overfilling it. Carefully push the rack back into the oven and bake until the custard is set, about 25 minutes. Allow to rest for 15 minutes before serving. ■
The Times Magazine 33
Generation Pain Continued from page 25
The doctor is standing over me when I come round from the anaesthetic, which, I have learnt, is never a good sign.
"I'm afraid it's worse than we thought," he says, glumly. Amputation? Have they operated on the wrong arm?
"We put a camera in the shoulder. On a scale of one to four," he says, "one being a healthy joint with perfect cartilage, four being no cartilage whatsoever, bone on bone [he pauses, like Stephen Mulhern on Deal or No Deal], you're a four."
Gulp.
"It might explain why you've been in so much pain all these years."
Once the word arthritis used to make me think of swollen-knuckled pensioners struggling to open a purse, but it turns out it can strike at any age. I am 31 and living with an arthritic shoulder, the legacy of repeated dislocations and failed surgeries.
The first time it happened was pathetic. I slipped in a shower at university, which, I was told, is an unexpectedly common injury among young men. And once a shoulder goes at that loose-ligamented age, it just keeps on going.
I was sent for routine surgery and recovered perfectly, but a few years later I smashed it up again playing a football match. A collision in the park resulted in a big bloke landing on my mended shoulder, ripping it out and cracking off the front of the socket. I was blue-lighted to A&E – and reconstructed once again.
But the pain has never disappeared. In fact, it has cost me more – and I don't say this lightly – financially, emotionally and physically, than testicular cancer five years prior. Cancer came with a plan: surgery, chemo, a hopeful endpoint. The shoulder offered nothing but uncertainty, and for a long time that uncertainty did more damage than the diagnosis ever had. An imagined sense of future, robbed. I would catch myself watching young dads lift their kids in the park, feel a twinge of pain and torture myself with the conviction that this would never be an option for me.
I have ping-ponged from surgeon to surgeon, physio to physio, each with a different theory pinpointing why it still hurts: tightness, stiffness, articular damage, nerve pain. I have had a parade of surgeries to try to fix a problem that, after all that, is unfixable. The joint is now something to be managed, rather than mended.
The pain will follow me for the rest of my life. And it turns out I'm not alone. Among the young, chronic pain is on the rise. The most recent national audit, the 2024 Health Survey for England, found a little over a quarter of adults hauling around some chronic ache, a figure that idles at about 12 per cent among the
My shoulder pain was worse than when I had cancer – both emotionally and physically
under-25s and climbs, decade by creaking decade, to 40 per cent of the over-75s.
But the proportion of those young people whose pain is severe enough to disrupt work, relationships and daily life has risen sharply, from one in five people to one in three – the only age group to spike like that.
Nobody can agree why. Is this simply an age of unprecedented self-monitoring? Is it, as one surgeon put it to me, that we have gone "soft, so that any slight deviation from a pain-free existence is noticed and seized upon"? Or is there something peculiar to 21st-century life that is leaving a generation in more pain than previous ones?
Joshua Fein-Brown certainly thinks so. He is 34, an osteopath and pain therapist who splits his time between an NHS chronic
pain service and his own private practice. He believes the rise can be explained by modern life, which "has drastically changed the way we use our bodies. We're mostly sedentary, doing repetitive tasks for long stretches of time." And when we do exercise, he says, we push ourselves hard at the gym or pound the pavement in spongy running shoes. This is the way the young and fit live now: at their computers all day but bookended by extreme exercise – marathons, Hyrox, CrossFit.
And underneath all this, he says, sit two deluded, but understandable, assumptions. "One," he argues, "is that there's a cure for every disease. And two, that we're built perfectly, that our bodies are designed for health. We're not. A lot of our biology is designed quite badly."
But this is a generation raised on optimisable health culture, the fitness app and the conviction that the body is a problem with a solution. Go to the GP, come away with a pill or a referral and the issue is fixed. You learn, without realising it, that pain is a temporary state to be corrected.
"Pain is the body's scream," Fein-Brown says. "And we've forgotten how to listen."
Fein-Brown has a name for what happens when you outsource that listening to a gadget: "Whoopitis", the affliction of the perpetually over-monitored, named after Whoop, the popular wearable fitness tracker. We have built a generation fluent in its own data but illiterate in its own sensation, and young people wonder why they hurt.
Dr Anthony Ordman, a pain consultant at the Royal Free Hospital, says it's not just our bodies that have gone quiet, but our lives around them. We socialise less, and the community that once sustained us has thinned to almost nothing. This matters, because the link between loneliness and pain is not conjecture.
Ordman sees this in who walks through his door. "There's a subgroup," he tells me, "people with social difficulties, who don't have a network of friends or family, who often have never worked. They seem to get long-term pain of all sorts."
There is a growing body of research into social connection as an analgesic. "Our propensity to live more behind a screen," Ordman says, "is severing those connections." The generation raised on phones is the loneliest yet and, it seems, among the most in pain.
So why, and how, do we feel pain at all? It's a more slippery question than it sounds, and to answer it I went to Professor Irene Tracey, vice-chancellor of the University of Oxford and a pain neuroscientist. She has spent 35 years putting people inside scanners to watch them hurt.
"Pain, at its most basic, is one of our oldest sensory and emotional
34 The Times Magazine
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'IT'S LIKE BEING STABBED IN THE BACK WITH A KNIFE'
Sidonie Wilson, 33, on a sports injury 18 months ago that has confounded medical experts
I used to think I had a high pain threshold. Growing up with an older brother, I'd joke, had set me in good stead. Whenever someone sticks a needle in me now, I barely flinch. And yet pain is the very thing that has completely turned my life upside down for the past 18 months.
Last February, I injured my back playing netball. There wasn't a dramatic pop or a heavy fall, but hours after an intense, competitive game, my back began to seize. Within weeks I was trapped in a debilitating, crippling agony that left me unable to walk. Scans soon revealed an L4-5 annular tear – a common disc injury that sports doctors assured me happens all the time to people my age (I'm 33) who spend the week hunched over a desk before throwing themselves into intense sport at the weekends.
But there has been nothing common about my experience. The pain has simply refused to leave. Instead, it kick-started a gruelling cycle of steroid injections, nerve blocks, physio and acupuncture. I've tried everything: cryotherapy, LED and infrared treatment, a mini hot water bottle strapped to my torso for months, and a Tens machine glued to my skin. I drowned myself in a heavy concoction of codeine, naproxen and diazepam, but nothing touches the sides.
According to the NHS, chronic pain is defined as anything lasting longer than three months. By bitter coincidence, that is also the exact point my medical insurance stopped paying for scans and appointments because my condition had transitioned from acute to chronic. Read: a lost cause.
Chronic pain slowly creeps into every corner of your daily routine until getting out of bed feels like an impossible mountain to climb. Desperate at the end of last year, I tried what the doctors called a "circuit-breaker", taking a few months off work to let my back, and my nervous system, reset.
Nothing worked. I still spend uncomfortable nights lying flat on my back, scrolling through medical journals, desperately searching for an unexplored avenue. I have even found myself wishing a broken bone would show up on a scan, just to have some physical proof to validate what I feel. Instead, I have nothing to show for a relentless agony that feels like being stabbed in the lower back with a knife dipped in lighter fluid.
Being in constant pain is exhausting. Most days, my remaining energy is entirely consumed by the simple acts of getting dressed and making it to work. I force myself to keep pushing, whispering that it can't be like this for ever. When my own resolve wavers, my partner steps in with the same encouraging words.
But over time, I can feel both of us growing weary. It's stopped us talking about the future without the caveat of "when my back gets better", and delayed planning for big life steps my other thirtysomething friends are doing.
Pain becomes an all-encompassing disease; you cannot think or talk about anything else with your partner, yet you are acutely aware that it is driving a wedge between you. It naturally suffocates intimacy. There is nothing less sexy than being asked if your back hurts when your
partner tries to cuddle up to you in bed, or spending your days rating your suffering on a scale of one to ten.
Alongside the physical toll, there is the psychological weight of watching my body change without the ability to stop it. Where muscles used to stand proud, now all I see is an out-of-shape body. The mental battle is worse. Pain makes me want to retreat from the world.
People stop asking how you are. I am bored of talking about my back, so I certainly don't expect anyone else to. On a good day, I might manage a gentle swim; most days, my activity is limited to the walk to work. I look back in disbelief at the days I used to pound the treadmills at Barry's Bootcamp. I know I am lucky compared with some – I tell myself it could be worse – but that thought doesn't make it any easier.
The Times Magazine 35
experiences,” she tells me. “It’s a teaching signal. You don’t remember putting your finger in a candle for the first time, but you certainly don’t do it again.”
Pain is not, as we all assume, felt in the place that hurts. Our cells cannot speak to our awareness directly; they do not “feel” anything at all. They can only fire signals through the nervous system, a reaction to pressure or heat or the chemical broth of inflammation, sent to the brain, which reads the message and decides whether to manufacture the thing we call pain, and how much.
The proof is in how badly damage and pain match up. “There’s a nonlinearity between injury and perception,” Tracey says. “You can have half your leg chopped off and feel almost nothing, because the body blocks the signals so you can get away. And you can have no injury at all, just a fear or an expectation, and the circuits switch on and give you a full pain experience. Huge wound, no pain; no wound, agony – and everything in between.”
Pain is less a thing that happens to you than a thing your brain does for you, mostly to keep you alive.
But the brain is never neutral. “It depends on your baseline, your mood, the chemicals your brain is bathed in,” says Elisa Burato, an osteopath with a London clinic. “If you’re a catastrophiser, or someone who’s positive, that changes the whole equation of how bad the pain is.”
Emotion, past trauma and life stresses all turn up the dial. Ordman has seen how emotional injuries and traumatic childhoods can predispose people to getting long-term pain conditions. On Tracey’s scans an anxious, stressed brain lights up like Vegas, whereas a neutral one, with an equivalent pain input, looks more like Slough.
Burato also points to the nocebo effect, placebo’s evil twin. She has watched practitioners reach for it with one eye on the invoice: “We need an x-ray, we need an MRI, you need to see me another three times,” she says, miming the slow inflation of alarm. “That creates a feedback loop of anxiety, and this person, I can guarantee, their pain perception will go through the roof.”
And this is the thing, Tracey says, that most people, and most of medicine, get wrong. “Chronic pain isn’t just a symptom. The old model – that if you fix what started it, it goes away – hasn’t worked. It’s why so many people are in pain for 20, 30, 40 years. For a growing number of conditions, chronic pain is a disease in its own right.”
Will Catchpole, a 31-year-old PE teacher and master’s student from Norfolk, was 22, fit and playing rugby in Dubai when a knock to the head turned on him two days later. He awoke at four in the morning
‘Chronic pain consumes your life. Unless you’ve had it, people are terribly judgmental about it’
screaming, not knowing where he was or who he was, so disorientated that the friend he was staying with came running in convinced he was watching someone die. Hospital ruled out a bleed on the brain, which should have been the good news. Instead there was nothing to point at, nothing to fix, just the reassurance that he’d improve in time.
He didn’t. The pain never left. It sat behind his eyes and throbbed – not quite migraine, not quite anything with a name. Brain fog thickened until sentences slipped away mid-thought. Fatigue flattened entire days.
Catchpole had to give up graphic design, the job he’d trained for, because screens made everything worse. He moved back to Norwich, into his childhood bedroom, and stayed there, largely bed-bound, for the best part of two years.
Worse than any of that was the isolation. “You’re drifting along in a separate universe,” he says, “while everyone else is just living their life as normal.” He hasn’t been able to have a relationship since it happened.
Doctors were increasingly perplexed, fumbling for a diagnosis. Eventually, it was Catchpole who broke the cycle, not them. “I stopped seeing the doctors because they were making me worse, trying different medications. It felt like it was stifling my progress rather than helping it.”
He read voraciously and looked for remedies: eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing therapy (EMDR); diet; breathwork; and eventually an app called Curable, built around the neuroscience of pain and founded by three people who’d had chronic pain themselves. A smattering of meditation, visualisation, journaling, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). “That was probably the point I made the most progress since the very start.”
That led him to magnetic stimulation and a self-funded trip to a clinic in Australia. A scan there mapped his brain’s connectivity against thousands of others who’d never had an injury. What it showed was a nervous system stuck on guard, unable to find its way back to its old baseline, bracing instead for the same thing to happen again. “It’s guarding you,” he says, “by giving you so much pain that you keep yourself in a safe place.”
None of it made the pain go away. “It’s still there all day, every day, eight years on,” he says. What’s changed is his relationship to it. And with that has come some
relief from its most debilitating effects.
Today he works as a PE teacher, is completing a master’s in psychology and works with the same Australian clinic to help other patients navigate recovery. “I’ve probably learnt more in the past eight years,” he says. “I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. But there’s something about shared experience that you can’t replicate.”
Professor Simon Lambert is the specialist to whom I was referred when the other doctors had run out of explanations. He has done more than any other surgeon to broaden my understanding of why my pain has become chronic.
“None of us are aware of any of our joints until our attention is brought to it,” he tells me. And when a joint gets damaged, the brain – ultimately a prediction machine – scrambles to account for the change, and usually gets it right. But when the pain persists, the prediction itself curdles. The brain starts to expect the pain, to brace for it, to find it, whether or not it is still there. And in doing so, the neural pathways become overly sensitised, reinforced like a bottom indenting a sofa over many years.
One of the reasons my shoulder was so problematic, I came to realise, is that it was loaded with symbolic meaning. It was while I was recovering from reinjuring it in late 2020 that I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. After six months of chemo, and another six months to get over the worst of the side-effects, I was given the all-clear and told to get on with my life. But the shoulder refused to get better.
It became my focus, a painful reminder of vulnerability. I would lie in bed at night looking for the pain, yanking my shoulder around to the ends of its limited range of motion, as if to point out to myself that, yep, the pain is still there.
All I wanted to do was return to normal, to leave the world of pain and consulting rooms behind me. But the shoulder, the unending dull ache of pain and mystery as to its cause, held me back. I kept looking for a fix that would not come.
When I speak to Jenny Tong, a 29-year-old athlete, she tells me she hunted the same fix for the better part of a decade, and has travelled further into the dark than I ever did.
Jenny was not always an athlete. At 16 she was a Brit School kid with a fake ID, breezing into nightclubs on the weekends. Sport was the last thing on her mind. Then she got to university, wanting, she says, to “reconnect with my body”. She wandered into a sports fair, spotted the weightlifting stall, picked up a barbell and reorganised her life around it.
Within months, her body began to fall apart. The injury list is long: knee, back, hip, an ACL that has never been repaired.
THE JOB NO. WILL WEAR TO THE SHRT MANAGING PROCESS JENNY WEAVER, DREW, NORWOOD SCHOOL, BUCKS, MANAGING PROCESS.COM
36 The Times Magazine
The obvious question is why she kept going. "I fell in love with the person I became because of sport," she says. "I met a version of myself I never knew existed." So she took the necessary steps to recover – albeit temporarily – and carried on.
What frightened Tong most, when her back went one day in the gym, was not her athletic career. "My first thought was not, 'Will I lift again?' but, 'What if I can't run in the park with my imaginary future dog? Or pick up my imaginary future children without pain?' The future was what concerned me most. You spend years being told you're capable. And you believe it. Chronic pain changes your relationship not just with your body but with yourself."
Today she is never not in pain. "I don't know what it feels like to go an hour without pain somewhere in my body, even at rest." Week in, week out she visits osteopaths and physios. "Chronic pain isn't just pain," she says. "It's admin. And it's expensive."
What, then, can be done when medicine isn't the answer?
If pain is built by the brain, predicted by the brain, amplified and locked in by the brain, then understanding mindset and changing your attitude can have measurable effects.
Professor Tracey is emphatic on this. She has the scans to back it. "The science
shows pain is in your head," she says. "You've got these extraordinary systems that can make it worse or better. If you don't accept that, you're missing half the trick. And frankly these mechanisms are more powerful than any drug."
Patients hate being told this, she says, because they hear it as an accusation that they are making it up. But the great gift of brain imaging is that it answers the accusation. Tracey's scans can prove to patients that a positive mindset is a way to tap into the body's natural medicine cabinet. Accepting the pain, changing your attitude towards it, doing the things you love – "These fire the same circuitry as a placebo, by releasing the body's painkillers. We call it top-down modulation."
Almost everybody, however, first goes looking for the cure. Ordman watches them arrive in his clinic having already toured half the profession. He calls them the doctor-shoppers, the ones who will spend their lives on "an eternal search for a fix that isn't coming".
Instead, he draws a distinction between pain and suffering. The pain is the signal. The suffering is the story you wrap around it, the future you imagine. He can do something about the pain, with injections and exercise and time, but only to a point.
The rest of the work is for the patient to do. "The best physios," he says, "are those who also do psychology without telling anybody."
Fein-Brown did the psychology on me. He spent the first session understanding why the pain held so much emotional resonance. He got me to stop hunting for it, to find the ranges of movement that did not hurt. He even got me to write a letter to the pain, which I would once have mocked but ended up being cathartic.
"When you are always caught up in fixing yourself, you make it worse," Fein-Brown says. "When you shift your focus away from fixing things, things get better."
It is hard to accept physical limitations when you're young. But once I reframed the injury, the "pain" became less intense. If you learn not to feed it with oxygen, the flames of pain burn less fiercely.
It does still make me feel weaker and less "powerful" than before. I've got a certain Quasimodo-like imbalance to my torso. But I have stopped complaining about it. Not least because there's a finite amount of sympathy for people with any long-term soreness.
Near the end of my chat with Tracey, she says, "People need to understand. Pain consumes your life, your identity, your ability to move on and enjoy things. And unless you've had it, we're terribly judgmental about other people's pain. The one thing I'd want people to know is that it's hard, it's complex, it's all-consuming, and we should be kinder about it." ■
The Times Magazine 37
Micky Burn with Unity Mitford at a Nuremberg rally in 1935
Audrey Hepburn in 1950
In 1936 Micky Burn joined The Times, reporting from Austria, Yugoslavia and Hungary. He was a flamboyant bisexual, a Nazi sympathiser who became a committed communist, a war hero and Colditz prisoner of war. He saved Audrey Hepburn’s life and was Guy Burgess’s lover.
Could he also have been a spy?
SEX, LIES AND SECRETS THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OF MICKY BURN
By Ben Macintyre
Micky Bora, photographed by Scott Van Osdol in 2016
Last week I was sent a four-page, unpublished document written four decades ago by Micky Burn, one of the strangest and most interesting journalists to work at The Times.
Burn joined this newspaper in 1936 and went on to become its correspondent in Austria, Yugoslavia and Hungary after the war. A skilled reporter and writer, he was also flamboyantly bisexual, a novelist, playwright and poet, a decorated war hero and Colditz prisoner of war, a Nazi sympathiser who became a committed communist. He probably saved the life of the young Audrey Hepburn and ended up as a failed mussel farmer in Wales.
In the document, written in 1987, Burn describes his long and tempestuous love affair with Guy Burgess, the diplomat, KGB double agent and member of the so-called Cambridge Five spy ring. A remarkable depiction of gay life in the Thirties, Burn's account also reveals that the Soviet intelligence services deliberately set out to recruit journalists on this newspaper as spies.
"The Times had a very high priority among possible agents for the Russians, even higher than the Foreign Office," Burn wrote.
The KGB planted communist spies throughout the British establishment: three of the Cambridge Five were diplomats, one an M16 officer, and one a distinguished art historian and surveyor of the King's/Queen's pictures. But its primary target, according to Burn, was The Times. Moscow wanted its agents planted inside Britain's undisputed "paper of record". And it succeeded.
Kim Philby, perhaps the most notorious double agent in history, joined The Times in 1937 on the instructions of his Soviet handler, and went on to cover the Spanish Civil War and the retreat from Dunkirk. Harry Smollett, another KGB recruit, was the paper's correspondent in postwar Vienna. David Holden, the Times and Sunday Times journalist mysteriously murdered in Cairo in 1977, may have been a double agent working for the KGB, according to a new book. The Australian-born journalist Wilfred Burchett, who reported on eastern Europe for The Times during the postwar period, was later identified as a KGB informant.
Burgess himself wangled his way onto
The Times before the war with a trial stint as a sub-editor on the Home News desk. Disruptive, witty, untidy, malodorous and usually drunk, Burgess lasted exactly 26 days as a Times man before being fired for incompetence.
As a communist and veteran Times reporter, Burn was an obvious target for the KGB. In his note, Burn claims that Burgess never overtly tried to recruit him as a spy, yet he was clearly sizing up his lover as a possible addition to the Cambridge spy ring and the roster of KGB agents on the newspaper. Burn notes that, "Now and then in a mysterious way he mentioned secret service. Would one be prepared to spy in Stockholm as well as Paris...?" He also extravagantly praised Burn's writing, which may have indicated "he had me in mind as recruit".
Burgess first met Burn at a May Ball in Cambridge in 1933 and promptly seduced him. A year and a half older, Burgess was in his final year at Trinity College,
where he had come to know Philby and Anthony Blunt. All three were secret communists who would be recruited by Soviet intelligence two years later.
Burn was dazzled by Burgess. "He was very brilliant, funny and good company," he writes in his account of their relationship. "He came across and invited me back to his room. I spent most of the night with him and then climbed out to rejoin the girls who had invited me to Cambridge." So began a love affair that would continue, on and off, until Burgess defected to Russia with fellow spy Donald Maclean in 1951.
When he met Burgess, Burn had just been sent down from Oxford after one year for doing no work at all. (He did find time to ghost the autobiography of the motor-racing champion Tim Birkin.) The son of the King's solicitor, Burn had been raised in a grace and favour house opposite Buckingham Palace. He was louche, handsome, naive and, by his own account,
'I am now living in a castle, as the best people do,' he wrote to his parents from Colditz
Burn being captured by German troops, and making a secret V for victory sign
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40 The Times Magazine
Ella van Heemstra and her daughter, Audrey Hepburn, in 1959
Hitler inscribed a copy of Mein Kampf for him. Burn treasured it before leaving it in a taxi
extremely spoilt: "I only had to lift a finger, and it was all laid on." When Burn's father discovered his homosexuality, Burn was given Benzedrine injections by George V's doctor, which made him hyperactive, but not heterosexual.
The year he met Burgess, Burn travelled to Bayreuth to soak up Wagner's music and fell under the spell of Nazism. "My mix of ignorance, blindness and semicriminal benevolence turned me into a dupe," he later wrote. The British fascist Unity Mitford introduced him to Hitler, who inscribed a copy of Mein Kampf for the young Englishman. Burn treasured this nasty memento for one day, before getting drunk and leaving it in a taxi.
At a Nuremberg rally, Burn described the "great lights in the sky, moving music, the rhetoric, the presentation, timing, performance, soundtrack, exultation and climax". Sitting alongside him was another Nazi enthusiast, the Dutch aristocrat Baroness Ella van Heemstra, with whom he started an affair.
Back in Britain, Burn hurtled in the opposite ideological direction, embracing
the politics of the far left after concluding that "what Hitler was offering me as soul-saving was shit".
Burgess played a key role in converting Burn to Marxism-Leninism. "He made no secret of his communism at that time and taught me a lot about it," Burn writes.
Burn joined The Times on the Imperial and Foreign News desk, and worked closely with the editor, Geoffrey Dawson, during the abdication crisis of 1936.
Through Burgess, Burn was introduced to a hard-living, frequently bisexual upper-class set and met numerous literary celebrities. He offended EM Forster (and amused Burgess) by telling the famous author that he thought Somerset Maugham "the greatest living novelist". In Cambridge, he recalls, "We climbed a wall to stare at AE Housman reading in [his] garden." The poet did not spot them.
"Guy was brazen about his homosexuality and seemed to think pretty much everyone great in history had been gay either openly or undercover... He liked to show me off to his gay friends." In An Englishman Abroad, Alan Bennett described
Burgess as a "rumpled Etonian mud lark".
Burgess was wildly promiscuous, but his feelings for Burn went deeper. The scientist and MI5 officer Victor Rothschild told Burn that Burgess was in love with him. "I suppose he was, as far as he was capable of it... I was not in love with him," Burn writes in his account of their relationship.
It was during this time that Burn met Kim Philby, a glamorous war correspondent and rising star on The Times. Philby had joined the paper on the orders of his KGB handler, Arnold Deutsch, a charismatic Czech intellectual. "Once you're inside, you'll look around and decide which way to go."
Burgess also introduced Burn to Anthony Blunt and Donald Maclean, another diplomat. By this time Burgess, Philby, Blunt and Maclean were all secretly spying for the Soviets. Burn himself might have been drawn into the spy ring, had the war not intervened.
On the outside, Burn was a dilettante, a social butterfly who hopped from bed to bed and idea to idea without pausing to think very deeply. But he also possessed extraordinary reserves of raw courage.
His war record reads like an account in the Boy's Own Paper. Burn immediately joined the Special Service Brigade, a volunteer unit of crack commandos, and took part in the defence of Norway following the German invasion of 1940, armed only with "a Jane Austen and a little ammunition".
"You are now a war hero," Burgess teased him when he came home. "You look beautiful in your uniform." Burgess himself had no intention of going to war. "He wouldn't have lasted long in any regiment," Burn writes.
In March 1942, Burn played a leading role in Operation Chariot, an amphibious attack on the dock at St Nazaire used by the Nazi fleet. In one of the most daring operations of the war, Captain Burn led his unit of 28 commandos on a mission to destroy the port's gun emplacements while a destroyer, disguised as a German ship and laden with high explosives, rammed the dock. Half Burn's troops were killed but he fought his way ashore and was finally captured with bullet and shrapnel wounds to his arm, thigh and back. He was later awarded the Military Cross. The Germans published a propaganda photograph of Burn being led away at gunpoint by German sailors with his hands in the air: the photographer failed to notice that Burn's left hand was surreptitiously raised in the V for victory sign. He was locked up in Colditz with hundreds of captured Allied officers.
"I am now living in a castle, as most of the best people do at this time of year," Burn wrote to his parents. There he established himself as the prison's resident philosopher, "a born optimist, and one
The Times Magazine 41
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of the few men in Colditz who never got depressed'. He also contrived to have sex with other men, an aspect of Colditz life rigorously suppressed in every subsequent account, even though 'anything of that sort' was a challenge since it was 'very difficult to find sufficient privacy to make it enjoyable'. With his journalist shorthand, he took down the nightly BBC broadcasts on the secret radio concealed in the attic, which were read out to the prisoners. In captivity he studied for an Oxford diploma in social sciences, learnt Russian and gave lectures on Marxism. These did not go down well with fellow prisoner Douglas Bader, the legless flying ace and a man of violent prejudices. Burn's flamboyance and left-wing views made him 'a dangerous menace', according to Bader.
In October 1945, following his release from Colditz, Burn received a letter from his former lover Ella van Heemstra. Like him, she had abandoned her earlier flirtation with fascism and had suffered greatly under Nazi occupation. Van Heemstra's daughter, known as 'Edda', had dreams of becoming a dancer, but was suffering from jaundice, anaemia and an infection caused by malnutrition. Van Heemstra asked Burn if he could obtain penicillin, a new wonder drug that could save her daughter's life. Burn sent thousands of cigarettes, which Van Heemstra sold on the black market to buy the medicine. The girl recovered and went on to become Audrey Hepburn.
Back in London after the war, Burn found Burgess much reduced, dishevelled and almost permanently drunk. The strain of his wild lifestyle and the stress of his espionage was taking a toll. 'He was drinking a lot and getting rather blowsy,' Burn notes.
Burn had returned convinced he was fully homosexual but then swiftly fell in love with a woman, Mary Booker, to whom he was married for the next three decades. He introduced her to Burgess: 'I was told you had married the most beautiful woman in London, and it's true,' said Burgess, ever the charmer.
It was Burn's continued homosexuality (apparently conducted with his wife's knowledge) that led to his estrangement from Burgess.
'I now and then used to pick up boys round about Piccadilly... Not very many, but now and then,' he writes. One day, Burn read in the News of the World that a male brothel had been raided and several men arrested for homosexual offences. Fearing his name might appear on some list, he went to Scotland Yard and asked to speak to the inspector in charge of the case.
'I told him that I had a problem. I gave my name and address at Buckingham Gate. I hoped he would advise and help. He was amazed. All he said was that he was sure I would marry and get over it.'
When he related the story to Burgess, the KGB spy was visibly alarmed. 'He then pulled himself together and said, 'Micky, that was very objective of you.'
Burgess now apparently saw Burn as a security risk. 'I suppose, as a spy, it was not at all a good thing for him to associate so closely, let alone be in love with, someone who took their problems to the police... After that, his interest in me dwindled.'
Nonetheless, Burgess still tried to seduce him from time to time. 'You don't understand, I'm married,' Burn told him.
'Don't be so pompous,' Burgess said. Burn campaigned for the Communist Party but later disavowed Marxism after reporting on the reality of communist
Burn turned to fiction. His Colditz novel, Yes, Farewell, was a disguised socialist manifesto pronouncing the death of the old class structure. This was followed by a torrent of books, plays and poems of variable quality. His mother pressed his poetry on various literary luminaries: JB Priestley thought Burn's verses 'very promising', but TS Eliot considered his poetry 'immature, and often awkward'. His father was blunter: 'I hate poetry unless it rhymes.'
Burn moved to Porthmadog Harbour, where he established a mussel-farming cooperative run on socialist principles. Predictably, it was a financial failure.
He wrote about his affair with Burgess in a 2003 article in The Times headlined 'Guy Burgess: The Spy who Loved Me'. Burn recalled his former lover's air of 'sham innocence, as if he had just run away after ringing some important person's doorbell.' Most of the details in his four-page note were omitted from the article, perhaps, as Burgess's biographers Stewart Purvis and Jeff Hulbert write, because he 'judged that readers of The Times might not be quite ready for some of the forensics'.
A man of intensely short-lived passions and limited patience, Burn was determined to taste everything in life, but stuck to little. A Nazi sympathiser turned communist turned Catholic, he also renounced that religious faith over its
Just before he fled to Russia, Burgess called Burn from a party. 'I love you,' he slurred
rule as the Times correspondent in eastern Europe.
By 1951, Burgess was second secretary at the British Embassy in Washington but facing dismissal due to his drinking and increasingly erratic behaviour. Kim Philby was also in Washington, having risen to the post of MI6 station chief.
Philby discovered that the Americans had cracked some of the KGB's wartime radio codes and the authorities were closing in on Maclean. Philby told Burgess, by now his lodger, to return to London and warn Maclean that he may have to flee.
In October, back in London, Burgess called Burn from a party, very drunk. 'I love you,' he slurred.
Burn never saw him again. Days later, Burgess and Maclean climbed onto a boat sailing for the French port of St Malo and then fled to Russia, never to return.
Burn was badly shaken by the defection of his former lover. 'People suffered a good deal afterwards for their association with him,' he writes. 'I never did. Somehow I had kept clear and anyhow I soon left The Times and had no importance.'
stance on homosexuality. A war hero, happily married bisexual, mussel-breeder, poet and journalist who later abandoned facts in favour of fiction. Burn was never bored and remained an optimist to his dying day, in 2010, at the age of 97.
Burgess was, in some ways, the opposite. At a young age, he embraced secret communism and, despite the chaos of his life, he never abandoned it.
In another rare element of consistency, Burn may have been the love of Burgess's life. The four-page document sent to me by his nephew certainly gives that impression – a love story from beyond the grave. But it also leaves a lingering mystery. Burn may have tried everything once, but he never put his hand to espionage. As a friend of Burgess and acquaintance of the other Cambridge spies, a convinced secret communist and a highly suggestible man of adventure, Burn was ripe for recruitment. Burgess slept with Burn, taught him about communism and introduced him to a world packed with spies. Yet he never recruited him.
That, at least, is what Burn claims. ■
SHUTTERSTOCK
The Times Magazine 43
The college lecturer from Wigan who became a millionaire fashion mogul
Victoria Magrath started a style blog as a hobby while finishing her PhD. What began as a side gig soon turned into a career. Now she has a make-up line, an army of followers who hang on her every recommendation and a house built on the profits (gold bath included)
By Harriet Walker
Victoria Magrath, 37, photographed at home in Mixon Keynes by Tim Jobling
Venice Film Festival, 2023
Chelsea Flower Show, 2025
In Rome in 2019
In London, 2021
London Fashion Week, 2017
One of Victoria Magrath's first paid partnerships in 2013 – as what had only just become known as an 'influencer' – was to talk about a new brand of chocolate-flavoured oat milk in a short clip on YouTube.
'It was delicious and it sounded easy; I thought, why not?' the Wigan native says.
'Brand deals weren't even a thing back then. I think I got £5,000 – crazy money. From there it just boomed.'
These days at least one of the 37-year-old's 1.2 million Instagram followers, 1 million YouTube subscribers, 828,000 TikTok fans, 145,000 Pinteresters and 73,000 Facebook followers shops every minute from her recommendations page on the affiliate platform LTK, where she has a further 54,000 followers and earns commission. On average they spend £100 per hour. Her make-up line, Byfrow, which launched last November, took more than 1,000 orders on its first day.
If you haven't heard of Victoria Magrath, you are not alone. She is often called by the name of her original blog, Inthefrow ('frow' is fashion industry shorthand for front row), which she launched in 2012, aged 23. 'My best mate still calls me Frowy,' she says.
These days Magrath is known online simply as @Victoria; having a first-name-only handle is the influencer equivalent of mononymous pop stars such as Madonna or Prince. Yet it isn't luck that's brought her here. When she started the blog, Magrath decided to trademark the word 'frow' globally, 'just in case'. At the time, she was researching a consumer behaviour PhD that seemed to point to one thing: the way we shopped was about to change for ever.
'This was before shopping on your mobile was even a thought process,' she says. 'A few brands had websites but there were no apps.'
By 24, Magrath was a lecturer at the University of Manchester, in the same
fashion retail department where she'd been an undergraduate. Her dream had been to work at the ecommerce site Net-a-Porter; she even bought a pair of Louboutin heels to wear there with her first lecturing pay cheque. Yet her research awakened her to a parallel universe in which Victoria Magrath might be not just a fashion enthusiast but an editor, model, marketing team and chief executive combined. After watching a YouTube make-up tutorial, she started recording her own.
'Every morning I'd look at how many followers I had and there'd be 10 or 20 new ones. Seeing the page views was so exhilarating.'
Within a year Magrath was waking at 6am to finish writing her lectures. After office hours she'd write blog posts, then start composing the next set of lectures.
'I lived with my best friend and she was so supportive, but eventually something had to give. I wasn't sleeping. I'd hit the point where I made more money from the blog than from lecturing. So I risked it.'
That same friend has now been her PA for 13 years, despite pronouncing those early YouTube videos 'cringe'. The boyfriend Magrath hardly saw because she was working too hard is now her husband; they met at 16, then again at 21 and married in 2019 in a Provençal château over a weekend that featured five bridal looks and was documented on her own social feeds as well as Harper's Bazaar. Alex Magrath (he took her name) now regularly stars in his wife's video clips. He still takes all her pictures and edits all her videos, just as he did in the years before
'EVERY MORNING I'D LOOK AT HOW MANY MORE FOLLOWERS I HAD. IT WAS SO EXHILARATING'
anyone had come up with the phrase 'Instagram boyfriend' for the men behind the women whose faces make the money.
And there is a lot of it. Electric gates, sports car, designer handbags: her life looks like a footballer's. After 13 years working with L'Oréal, Victoria Beckham and Dior rather than oat milk brands, Magrath's net worth is £1.2 million, the internet estimates. Does that sound about right to her?
'I've never really spoken about it,' she says. 'But yeah, I have made over a million. So I suppose I'm a millionaire. I didn't come from money. I've always worked hard to pay my way.'
Magrath's father was a conveyancer and her mother became a study-support worker at the local college when she and her brother went to secondary school. As a teenager attending C of E Deanery High School in Wigan, Magrath was 'certainly not a popular kid'. She was also a potwash at a local restaurant, working up to waitress and eventually assistant chef.
'I don't like to refer to myself as an influencer,' she says. 'It makes what I do feel transactional, and I didn't start that way. It was a hobby I was obsessed with.'
Magrath prefers the term 'content creator', and her well-appointed home (an extensive renovation in Buckinghamshire that was covered on all platforms) suggests she still is. Beauty products are laid out for the perfect 'shelfie'; the walk-in closet of dreams makes for an ideal backdrop. In the hallway a compact vlogging camera complete with fluffy mic sits as expectantly as her sausage dog. She posts almost every day, recently about trying to move full-time to Cornwall.
'I literally talk to the camera as if it's a friend,' she says, laughing. 'I didn't swear online for 12 years; now I do. I think people are craving the real and unfiltered – less perfection, less consumerism.'
But other people consuming is the central plank of her business model. Magrath is part of an influencer marketing
PREVIOUS SPREAD: HAIR, CHRISTOPHER LONG, MAKE-UP: GABRIELLA FLOYD MAKEUP USING BYFROW, THIS SPREAD: GETTY IMAGES
46 The Times Magazine
'I'D HIT THE POINT WHERE I MADE MORE MONEY FROM THE BLOG THAN FROM LECTURING. SO I RISKED IT'
industry valued at $34.1 billion (£25 billion) by the Digital Marketing Institute, up from $32.55 billion last year. The wider 'creator economy', of which she is at the heart, is projected by Goldman Sachs to reach $500 billion by 2027. For every $1 spent on influencer marketing, brands make an average of $5.78.
That's why Magrath got her first £5,000 all those years ago: in an economy whose favourite buzzword is 'authenticity', likeable people are a valuable commodity. From the moment she answers the door of her home – flanked by hydrangeas in planters decorated with Manchester bees – and draws me in for a hug, Magrath is impossible to dislike.
'I have a warmth that I can't get rid of,' she says, laughing. 'There have been times when I've gone for fittings with big fashion brands and they'd be like, who's this chatty person with a smile on her face? But by the end their whole demeanour would change.'
Does her northern accent have something to do with it?
'For a long time I thought it was holding me back. I was the only northerner in the room; I worried people wouldn't take me seriously. But I think Andy Burnham is going to cut through because of it too. If you're speaking in a relatable way, it's a goldmine.'
'Relatable' is another buzzword of our age. You cannot be liked if you are not relatable – and on social media, likes are what matter if you want to make money.
'The public loves and trusts Victoria,' says Amber Venz Box, the American co-founder of the LTK shopping platform, which hosts Magrath and is valued at $2 billion. The two first met at London Fashion Week a decade ago.
When Magrath launched her cosmetics brand, Byfrow, she turned down stockist offers from four major retailers ('ones you've heard of') so she could do it her own way.
Late last month she released a £30 SPF50 Hue Glazing Balm (sheer blush, to you and me) for lips and cheeks. Byfrow also launched with £19 lip liner pencils, which Magrath credits with killing off the filler injections she used to have.
'I realised after a few years I didn't like how my lips looked with them,' she says, shrugging. 'Then I learnt to overline my lips and they looked better.'
Magrath has been an internet personality for so long, her previous incarnations are a googleable evolution of man. For example, she was always doll-like, despite being 5ft 7in, but she now looks like someone who has a reformer Pilates bed in her garage (seen it). Even without make-up on as we chat, she has that constantly-on-camera polish. In the early days she had purple hair, then platinum and classic blonde. Now she is a strawberry blonde and fans regularly book in with her hairdresser to request whatever she has had done. But they haven't always been complimentary.
'I've seen the most awful threats you can imagine,' she says. 'Social media is like the Wild West – there's no policing, no boundaries. People will say the worst things and they're becoming more cruel. There's so much less warmth.'
There has certainly been a backlash against Instagram's wealthy gloss vibes during a cost-of-living crisis (not relatable). As many people tighten their belts, last month a survey found that 74 per cent of us don't trust influencer reviews. Last year The Retail Bulletin reported the number
With her husband, Alex, in Venice in 2021
of purchases driven by influencers was down from 54 per cent in 2023 to 50 per cent in 2025, while 65 per cent of people said they were more likely to trust word of mouth. Yet what is influencing if not word of mouth monetised on a grand scale?
'Even me, most of the things I buy, it's because I've seen them on an influencer. But we content creators are absolutely at fault for influencing excess,' Magrath says. 'I have all these beautiful bags and shoes – everything I ever wanted – and I don't need it all.'
Sitting on her cream sofas surrounded by Dior blankets and Loewe candles that have been either gifted because of or paid for by her giant online presence, this isn't what I was expecting to hear. Then again, Magrath's career first kicked off when she took a punt on a new direction. What is her prediction for consumer behaviour this time round?
'There's so much fake AI stuff now; people want to get away from their phones,' she says. 'I've made peace with making less content, less commission. Now, it's about having experiences you'll remember rather than another pair of jeans you won't.'
On the way out, I ask where her white barrel-leg pair with red-stitched pockets are from. I can't help it. ■
The Times Magazine 47
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Pout!
LIGHTWEIGHT MAKE-UP FOR SUMMER
By Nadine Baggott
Minimum effort, maximum results is my beauty motto and never more so than in summer, when there are always better things to do than a full face of opaque make-up. Here's how, with skincare/make-up hybrids that go on sheer but have staying power.
1 THE CULT BB CREAM Missha M Perfect Cover Serum BB Cream (£12.90, in eight shades; boots.com) The cult Korean BB cream, a bestseller for more than 20 years in Seoul, has finally landed at Boots, and it's good. Essentially it is skincare with pigments, so the first experience is a serum or superlight lotion that just happens to blur pores and fine lines, soften redness or pigmentation with ease. I will be brutal and say it needs many more shades but they will come if it's a success over here, so get down to Boots and try to find a skin-matching shade. It's pretty sheer, so it is slightly more forgiving than a full coverage base.
2 THE LIQUID LIGHT BRONZER Lumene Invisible Illumination Liquid Bronzer in Summer Glow (£23.90; boots.com) Again a superlight serum, but this one is tinted to give glow and a hint of a tan. Sometimes liquid bronzers can be hard to blend but not this. Yes, apply with warm fingertips, but also try stippling a brush into this liquid and then buff into your skin. It doesn't add coverage, just a healthy glow.
3 THE SOFTEST CREAM BLUSH e.l.f. Soft Glam Cream Blush (£7; superdrug.com) So many cream blushers have high pigment payoff – great in winter, a disaster on sweaty summer skin. This is really pretty, gives a sheer flush of colour and a hint of a healthy glow without shimmer or shine. What's more, it can be dabbed onto lips for an easy summer look. The Gumball shade is a clear winner for me.
4 THE NO-SMUDGE MASCARA Sweed Cloud Mascara in Black (£26; cultbeauty.co.uk) In case you didn't know, a tubing mascara is not wax-based but has polymers
I'm sceptical of tinted sunscreens but this one really delivers
that coat the lashes then wash away with warm water at the end of the day (in tiny tubes, hence the moniker). Why? This makes them pretty much sweatproof and smudgeproof. Now, there's a downside: no supersized volume (as no fibres) and not much lengthening, but if you want your lashes looking their best and not overly made-up, then summer is the perfect time to try a formula like this.
5 THE WATERY LIP TINT Laneige Juicepop Box lip tint (£15.99, in eight shades; asos.com) This is a skin tint but for lips. It's light, and feels like a lip serum with the prettiest hint of a tint. It can be used all over lips for a natural look – simply choose the colour closest to your natural lips – or even applied over one of those long-lasting lip stains for an all-day soft flush that feels like nothing.
6 THE ONE-AND-DONE BROW GEL Kosas Air Brow (£20, in ten shades; spacenk.com)
This really is an idiotproof brow gel/groomer and colour all in one. The small spoolie makes it easy to apply for those of us with less than Cara Delevingne glorious brows, but it will add depth of colour, fill in a few sparse gaps and give a groomed look in seconds. PS: it also covers greys.
7 THE TINTED SPF BASE Merit The Uniform Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF50 (£34; sephora.co.uk)
I am always sceptical of tinted sunscreens but this one really delivers. It is shade-inclusive even on dark skins, it truly is superlight (it is just a top-up SPF, so you'll need a dedicated one if you plan on sitting out in the sun), and it doesn't have a shiny, unflattering finish. In fact it provides a soft-focus, suits-all coverage.
8 THE NEW NAKED EYE Giorgio Armani Eye Tint (£33, in 20 shades; boots.com) I know, eyeshadow in summer – but hear me out. This feels like a soft serum, adds a wash of colour and blends into skin without stickiness, yet adds the most subtle polished look to eyes, especially if you choose a skin-neutral but defining shade like Sand, Cedar or Tobacco. Foolproof eyeshadow – yes, really.
9 THE SMOKY POWDER LINER Made By Mitchell Cake Eyeliner in Choco Block (£13; boots.com)
Forget smudgy pencil eyeliners in summer; instead, master a powder liner with an angled brush because a) it is softer and more flattering and b) it will not smudge or smear. Just apply to the base of upper lashes, even between them, to make eyes appear more defined, larger and to complete an eye look in seconds. This one can also be applied with a wet brush for a more intense finish in the evening or in winter. But, heads up, with the right angle brush any dark, chocolatey eyeshadow will suffice. ■
Nadine can be found on Instagram @nadinebaggott where she answers all your beauty questions
The Times Magazine 49
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Travel back to 1066 on this exciting tour, featuring the once-in-a-lifetime chance to see the Bayeux Tapestry on British soil as it leaves Normandy for the first time in nearly a thousand years. On loan for the highly anticipated exhibition at the British Museum,
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KITCHEN SHORTCUTS
THE FOODIE'S TOP 12 CHEATS
No time to chop? Too busy to char? Tony Turnbull reveals his secret hacks
Odysea ajvar
(200g, £3, waitrose.com)
A Turkish dip of pepper and aubergine that also makes an instant pasta sauce without tasting too "ready-made".
Crispy onions
(100g, £1.80, ocado.com)
I used to make my own. All that slicing, all that oil! Now I just add these to mujadara, that veggie classic of spiced rice and lentils.
Veetee wholegrain basmati rice
(2 x 130g, £1.15, sainsburys.co.uk)
The best brand for microwavable rice, and its wholegrain basmati is the biggest time saver, ready in 1 minute compared with 25 minutes on the stove.
Frozen diced onions
(500g, 99p, aldi.co.uk)
No matter how good your knife skills, onions take time to chop. These will be ready in 5 minutes, start to finish.
Gaea flame-roasted red peppers
(290g, £3.30, ocado.com)
These save you at least 20 minutes of charring, cooling and peeling peppers for anything from shakshuka to couscous salad.
Merchant Gourmet puy lentils
(250g, £2.15, sainsburys.co.uk)
Lazy, I know, but kilo for kilo these are not much more expensive than buying raw. I don't rate the flavoured varieties in the range, though.
So Organic chickpeas
(380g, £1.30, sainsburys.co.uk)
With a pinch of extra salt, these chickpeas are almost as good as a certain brand in jars that cost nearly twice the price.
Ottolenghi smokey honey marinade
(270g, £4, waitrose.com)
The acceptable face of hot honey. I marinate chicken thighs with this but add a little lemon juice into the mix to cut the sweetness.
Belazu basil pesto
(135g, £3, sainsburys.co.uk) I wouldn't touch the stuff in jars, but this is a handy standby to keep in the fridge.
De Cecco gnocchi di patate
(500g, £2.75, tesco.com)
To go with the tub of pesto, obviously. This is my favourite brand because it holds its shape well after cooking.
Spanish crushed tomato bread topper
(250ml, £2.50, ocado.com)
I'm almost too embarrassed to admit to this, but ready-grated tomato? Why not?
Payst Thai green curry paste
(100g, £5.50, payst.co.uk)
I've tried to keep to supermarkets here, but Payst's range of Thai curry pastes, made by the team behind the restaurant Farang, are so brilliant you need to know about them. ■
The Times Magazine
51
Eating out
Giles Coren
TOM JACKSON, LOLA LEE
‘The noodle duvet (very much the duvet of an unmade bed) was wonderful. Kind of a smashed, spicy lasagne’
Jiaonest
‘So what usually happens now?’ said Cindy Yu, putting down her beer and lifting up the menu at Jiaonest in Haggerston in east London.
‘Well,’ I said. ‘Usually people go, ‘Ooh, Giles, you know so much about Chinese food, why don’t you order for everyone?’’
Cindy raised an eyebrow.
‘But on this occasion, seeing as you’ve been here before, I’m willing to share the responsibility evenly.’
And so, from the ‘Small plates’ section, Cindy ordered the duck duck rice toast and the gourmet flower mushroom, ‘patiently braised until tender, straight from Chongqing, shaped by its mountain forests, earthy and fragrant’, and the ‘numbing warning’ spiced house salad with crunchy pig ear. And I threw in the jelly noodles, ‘a beloved summer dish from Chongqing; silky pea noodles tossed in a balanced dressing of nutty, spicy and lightly numbing flavours, lifted by sweetness and acidity’, because it sounded... spiritually uplifting. And then we got the mapo tofu and the medicinal
chicken thighs and the noodle duvet and the asparagus and wood ear and that seemed about enough. And Cindy agreed.
You know Cindy. She’s a relatively recent arrival at The Times, having previously been broadcast editor at The Spectator and, crucially, a store manager at Lidl. She was born in Nanjing but came here when she was nine, writes brilliantly about many things, but mostly China, and has the sort of amicable relationship with the Chinese embassy that allows her to politely inquire, ‘So, any plans to invade Taiwan?’ and them to politely reply, ‘Why would we invade somewhere that is part of China?’
She can and does cook Chinese dishes (which came up when we ordered the mapo) but ‘embarrassingly I learnt it all from reading Fuchsia Dunlop [the great British trailblazer in Chinese and especially Sichuan cooking], not my mum’. And she was very excited about Jiaonest. When we first met at the end of last year she had suggested lunch and I, being a massive racist, said that I’d love to, as long as she found me a really great Chinese restaurant that I hadn’t been to before.
It took her six months, but she nailed it. Jiaonest is the work of chef/owner Hua Yang, who grew up in her parents’ herbal medicine shop in Chongqing, the supercity (population: 32 million) which
52 The Times Magazine
is adjacent to Sichuan and whose cuisine shares the Sichuan dependence upon "mala", the wondrous double fire of numbing Sichuan peppercorn heat (ma) and dried chilli peppers (la).
Hua (who wasn't in that night, or stayed in the kitchen) came to London originally to study spatial design and drifted via east London supper clubs into her own place, which is in an air-conditioned basement on Kingsland Road under a dive called A Bar with Shapes for a Name (a triangle, a square and a circle, if you want to know). It is quite spartan, with uncovered tables, white walls, the odd cat statue, feathers in a vase and a wall-length Chinese medicine cabinet in a lightwell at the far end. Your chair has a drawer in the seat containing medicinal herbs, Sichuan peppercorns etc – speak out of your arse at Jiaonest and it comes out spicy. But it's a mellow atmosphere, quiet jazz, no clatter. No hideous Dalston din. And the food is tremendous.
First out of the blocks were the jelly noodles (£10.50), long, rectilinear, slippery as newborn mice, looking a little like geometrical salsify, firm enough to get up on chopsticks and hang there, doubled over, but likely to break if jiggled, cool on the tongue with a rich peanutty, spicy dressing – welcome on another 33C London evening.
They went very well with an oaky but refreshing Margaret River chardonnay called Treeton, the most expensive white on the list at £72 – not too bad a mark-up. Most of the wine here is "natural", obviously, because it's Hackney, but the Treeton has "minimal" rather than "no" intervention and is perfectly delicious. Easily robust enough to stand up to the mala.
I loved the salad of bitter leaves (£13), which came with a "numbing warning" on account of the Sichuan dressing and the way the crackle of the cool strips of pig's ear folded into the general crunch. The gourmet flower mushroom (£8) was an extraordinary thing: the size and heft of a cricket ball, in five slices, very dense, cool, fleshy, under-a-dead-log-in-the-forest sort of flavours, quite vinaigrous juices when chewed. I liked it but Cindy liked it even more. I mean, she really, really loved it.
After the cool, sour-bland (but not undelicious) flabbiness of the outsized mushroom slices, I was delighted to return to the land of the hot and fatty with the duck duck rice toast (£11.50), which was a quite incredible thing: an unctuous inch-thick braise of fatty duck meat and sticky rice, between slabs of crunchy fried bread, quartered and sesame seeded, that came on like sesame prawn toast straight out of the 1970s Anglo-Cantonese repertoire, but
meaty as all hell. A stupendous mouthful. A deep-fried stew. A sandwich for heroes.
The noodle duvet (£10) was wonderful too, the flat sheet of chewy noodle curled up willy-nilly (this was very much the duvet of an unmade bed) with zhajiang (which the menu's brilliant glossary calls "a Sichuan variation built on classic northern Chinese soya bean paste, rich and savoury; traditionally stir-fried with minced meat"), crushed chickpeas and chilli oil. Kind of a smashed, spicy lasagne.
The chicken thighs (£16) were clean, sweet, dainty little chunks which Cindy reckoned "weren't all that medicinal", and the mapo tofu (£16.50) was an elegant, unfussy manifestation of the classic, based on Hua's grandma's recipe, apparently, and not especially spicy. Which I was glad of. Because a fat old white man schwitzing like a roast ham under a heat lamp in front of a young woman in an air-conditioned London basement is not a look I seek to achieve. And then we both, from nowhere, suddenly thought that the best thing of all was the little side dish of shredded asparagus and crunchy black wood ear mushroom (mu'er), barely cooked, just blanched and tossed in a savoury garlic dressing (£7.50). Simple, cute, sweetish and compelling.
It was a hot night and I hadn't ordered the chef's special mala short ribs (£21.50), highly regarded though they seem to be, because I just couldn't face eating anything as heavy as the structural crossbeams that hold a cow together. Nor did we try the steamed whole sea bream in a smoky, charred green chilli sauce (£25.50). But we got across almost everything else and it was a triumph. Reminded me a little, in its being a young, hipsterish bistro whose cuisine just happens to be Chinese, of the late, lamented Mr Ji on Parkway. That didn't survive the horrors of "the current climate" but this will, I am sure. Because you'll be going there twice a month, won't you?
Next week: Hugo Rifkind takes me to a Scottish restaurant (not really. Nobody wants to see that). ■
Jiaonest
230 Kingsland Road, London E2 (jiaonest.life)
Cooking 8
Story 8
Medicine 9
Score 8.33
Price £50/head sans grog.
The Times Magazine
53
SETTING THE STANDARD FOR SAFER LADDERS
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Tom Peck
‘I’ve started to wear the exact same outfit every day. It’s not filthy – it’s plain genius’
This summer, first by accident and later by design, I have moved into a system I am calling Total Wardrobe. The first rule of Total Wardrobe, and it only has one rule, is that everything I wear, every day without exception, is exactly the same, and I am absolutely loving it.
My TW journey began a couple of months ago when I spotted a bargain online for a three-pack of navy Paul Smith T-shirts. The price was so good (£25 for all three) that I ordered another before the first had arrived. Then I lost the second, so bought a third, but then found it, so now I’ve got nine and I’ve not worn anything else since. It is, as Ricky Gervais and Mr Blobby have discovered, a sublime way to live.
The only thing that’s causing me concern is that the other parents at the school gate may assume I only have one and that I have worn it every day for more than a month, for three consecutive, record-shattering heatwaves. I can’t think of a subtle way to get the word out that I actually have many, apart from maybe writing a newspaper column about it, then posting the link in the class WhatsApp group.
Since the T-shirt revolution, I’ve set upon my wardrobe with Death Star-like destruction. This time last month there were six pairs of chino shorts in there. I decided which were my favourites, bought two more of the same, then chucked the rest. It’s not ideal that they’re dark navy too, as are my two identical dark navy caps. And when you set that entire ensemble off with either of my two identical pairs of black Ray-Bans, it rather means I’ve spent the entire summer dressed like one of those state-backed Russian hooligans who ambushed England fans in Marseille at Euro 2016, though arguably with a fraction less lean muscle mass.
Total Ray-Ban is a bit of risk, actually. On more than one occasion I’ve collected my daughter from school only to get home and discover that pair one is over my eyes and pair two is on my head. A further problem is that I now get served adverts for Paul Smith T-shirts every time I open my laptop, so I was unable to prevent myself from adding a light blue trio, strictly for holiday wear, and then getting my two-year-old boy in on the act too. On holiday in Greece a couple of weeks ago, we regularly wore matching outfits, perhaps appearing to the other hotel guests like a very unlikely pair of Korean honeymooners.
By far the most satisfying substrate of Total Wardrobe is Total Sock. It’s no
exaggeration to say that Total Sock is life-changing. I already had nine pairs of plain black Pringle socks when I had to have them Amazon Primed to the in-laws a couple of Christmases ago after accidentally arriving with none. Somehow I’ve still got eight, so I bought four more pairs, and all other socks have now been banished.
You might think that means I’ve got 12 pairs of identical socks, but you’d be wrong. I have no pairs of socks. I have moved beyond the very concept of sock pairs. Now every sock can, and indeed does, pair with any sock of its choosing and then find another suitor as soon as the very next day. My sock drawer is a self-contained Woodsock Festival. It’s even more bacchanalian than that, because everyone in it is a fully practising pansocksual.
Total Flip-flop is also a winner, but to be honest, I’ve been observing that rule almost all my adult life. I realised back in my twenties that if you keep buying the same pair of navy Havaianas, then each pair lasts twice as long, and I’ve stuck to it for two full decades. When flip snaps, buy a new pair but keep hold of flop, then when flop 2.0 perishes, bring the OG flop out of retirement and bosh! You’re flip-flopping again. It’s genius really. Like Trigger’s broom, but for footwear.
Total Pant is another system I’ve been sticking to for a long time. Recently I discovered in my Amazon purchase history that I’ve been buying the same black Calvin Klein three-pack with metronomic regularity since 2009. Some people look at house prices if they want to get depressed about lost decades of economic potential, but my pants tell an even bleaker story.
It’s no exaggeration to say that the cost of a three-pack of Calvin Klein briefs has risen over the past 16 years in almost complete lockstep with my earnings. But I’m middle-aged now, at the peak of my powers. I can buy nine heavily discounted T-shirts in a week without blinking. But what are the youngsters doing? How can they afford pants at all? It’s a bit of a worry. You can’t use avocado toast for everything.
I’m increasingly aware that winter is coming and that it’s going to challenge my devotion to this new way of life. Total Hoodie I’m definitely doing, and Total Jean, but Total Jumper? Total Blazer? Total Chino? Total Work Shirt? Total Coat? I haven’t quite decided, but don’t worry, I’ll keep you informed. ■
Robert Crampton is away
Tom Peck in Greece with his two-year-old son
© Times Media Limited, 2026. Published and licensed by Times Media Limited, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF (020 7782 5000). Printed by Walstead Bicester Ltd, Oxfordshire. Not to be sold separately.
58 The Times Magazine
TIMES Events
Caitlin Moran on How to be Hopeful
Join us for a brilliantly funny and uplifting evening as Times columnist Caitlin Moran hits the stage for the London instalment of her nationwide tour. In conversation with her friend and colleague – Times Radio presenter Hugo Rifkind – Caitlin will unravel the themes of her essential new book, How to be Hopeful: A Year of Attempting to Feel Less Awful About the World.
Thursday, September 17 | 7.30pm
St Mary’s Church, Bryanston Square, London, W1H 1PQ
Book your tickets at thetimes.com/events
pooky
Have you seen the light?
www.pooky.com
制度与权力批判深度研判：The Times Magazine (2026-08-15)
▌ 本日全报思想与文化深思雷达 (Intellectual & Cultural Significance Radar)
在系统通盘梳理本期报纸所涉及的报道后，以下 2 个具体事件在思想史、文化政治与制度伦理层面最值得学者进一步深思：
-
【数字时代的遗赠危机与物质性消亡】
[F2_12, F2_21, F3_24]- 事件简述：凯特琳·莫兰在尝试更新遗嘱时发现，现代生活产生的“珍贵”记忆（如大卫·鲍伊的电子邮件、乔恩·朗森的短信）在法律与档案意义上缺乏可遗赠的物质实体。
- 思想文化深思切入点：探讨数字资本主义如何通过“去物质化”改变个体的历史连续性，以及当私人记忆转化为不可传输的数字信号时，传统的“遗产”概念如何面临挑战。
-
【美貌货币化与身体经验的价值重构】
[F1_3 🔍]- 事件简述：凯蒂·派珀（Katie Piper）指出美貌是女性的一种“强大货币”。
- 思想文化深思切入点：分析社会制度如何将生物学特征转化为一种社会资本，以及在权力运作中，身体的“价值”如何被量化为一种准入权力。
▌ 精选核心专题深度思想论证 (In-Depth Dialectical Monograph)
专题一：数字幽灵与物质性的丧失：论当代遗产制度在“去物质化”生活中的失效
在凯特琳·莫兰关于更新遗嘱的叙述中 [F2_12 🔍]，我们遭遇了一个极具现象学意义的困境：一个生活在21世纪的知识分子，在试图通过法律文件（遗嘱）来锚定其生命意义时，发现自己陷入了某种“物质性贫困”。莫兰渴望像19世纪小说那样遗赠具有独特历史质感的物品——如象牙发梳或摩洛哥皮装订的书籍 [F2_18 🔍]，但她的现实清单中仅剩下一封大卫·鲍伊的电子邮件 [F2_21 🔍] 和一条凡俗的短信 [F3_24 🔍]。这种矛盾揭示了当代生活的一种深层异化：承载记忆的物理媒介在迅速消失。
从话语策略上看，莫兰将遗嘱更新定义为“成年人的糟糕琐事” [F2_13 🔍]，这种修辞将法律制度的僵硬与个体情感的流动性对立起来。然而，深层冲突在于，法律制度（遗嘱法）依然建立在“所有权”和“可转移物质”的古典逻辑之上，而数字时代的生存状态则是“访问权”和“瞬时信号”。当莫兰意识到电子邮件无法被博德利图书馆（Bodleian Library）抢着收藏时 [F2_22 🔍]，她实际上是在质询：在算法治理的时代，个体是否还拥有能够跨越生死、传递精神特质的“物”？
这里可以引入本雅明（Walter Benjamin）关于“光晕”（Aura）的理论。传统遗赠的物品（如克里克的信件 [F3_23 🔍]）具有唯一性和原真性，其“光晕”源于它在特定时空中的物理存在。而数字信息是可无限复制且无实体的，它消解了“原件”的概念。当记忆被编码为二进制信号，它便失去了作为“纪念碑”的重量。莫兰最终决定不修改遗嘱 [F3_25 🔍]，这种看似幽默的放弃，实际上是对一个残酷事实的承认：在数字生活方式的浸染下，我们的生活世界被简化为一系列功能性消费品（如空气炸锅、马克杯 [F3_25 🔍]），而真正具有精神价值的连接则变成了无法遗赠的“数字幽灵”。
专题二：对称性的暴政：美貌作为货币的社会权力分析
凯蒂·派珀（Katie Piper）的观点 [F1_3 🔍] 提供了一个关于权力、身体与社会资本的深刻样本。她将美貌定义为女性的“强大货币”，这一隐喻精准地揭示了社会制度如何将生物学特征转化为一种阶级准入证。在这种逻辑下，身体的“美”不仅是生理特征，更是经济与社会资本的等价物。
从理论资源来看，这可以与福柯（Michel Foucault）的“生命政治”理论形成对话。现代社会通过一套无形的视觉标准建立起一种规训机制。当美貌被视为“货币”时，不符合该标准的人在进入社交或职业市场前，实际上在经历一种微观权力的过滤。这种过滤不再需要显性的法律禁令，而是通过社会认知的“价值贬值”来实现。
当代现实对这一理论的拓展在于：当美貌被制度化为一种“货币”，个体的自我认同便被强行拉入一个竞争性的市场体系中。派珀的洞察在于她揭露了这种货币交换的残酷性——它将人的主体性简化为一种可交易的视觉参数。在这种权力运作中，身体的“不对称”或“损伤”被解读为资本的丧失。因此，反抗这种“对称性暴政”的路径，在于将身体的真实经验（包括伤痕与破碎）从“货币价值”的逻辑中剥离，将其重新定义为一种生存的见证而非需要被修复的“资产损失”。
▌ 面向学者的开放性思想追问与研究路标 (Open Horizons for Scholarly Inquiry)
- 【数字遗产的本体论追问】：当个体的精神遗产从“物质实体”转向“数字访问权”时，法律制度应如何重构“所有权”概念，以防止人类历史记忆在技术迭代中发生系统性坍塌？
- 【身体资本的权力分析】：探讨“美貌货币化”在不同文化语境下的运作机制，以及这种基于生物参数的社会分层如何通过数字算法（如社交媒体筛选）得到强化？
- 【物质性与记忆的关联研究】：分析物理媒介（如手写信件
[F3_23 🔍]）与数字媒介（如电子邮件[F2_21 🔍]）在构建个体历史连续性方面的差异，以及这种差异如何影响人类的哀悼与纪念方式？
理性与情感辩证深度研判：The Times Magazine (2026-08-15)
▌ 本日生活世界痛感与情感政治深思雷达 (Lifeworld & Affective Significance Radar)
基于对本期报纸内容的系统梳理，以下事件在制度理性与个体情感冲突层面最具学术探讨价值：
-
【数字时代的遗赠危机与物质性消亡】
[F2_12-F3_25]- 事件简述：凯特琳·莫兰在尝试更新遗嘱时，发现自己缺乏能够承载个人历史与情感温度的“珍贵且不寻常”的实物遗赠，而仅拥有电子邮件等数字化碎片。
- 情感政治与伦理深思切入点：探讨制度化的法律文件（遗嘱）如何试图量化生命价值，以及在数字化生存中，人类如何面对“情感物质性”的丧失——当记忆被简化为服务器上的比特，传统的、具有触感的“生命传承”仪式感如何被技术理性所解构。
-
【美貌货币与社会价值的量化逻辑】
[F1_3 🔍]- 事件简述：凯蒂·派珀（Katie Piper）指出美貌是女性的一种“强大货币”。
- 情感政治与伦理深思切入点：剖析社会如何将身体特征转化为一种可交易的“货币”资本，探讨这种量化逻辑如何定义女性的社会价值，以及当个体失去这种“货币”时，如何通过重构主体性来应对制度性的审美压迫。
▌ 精选核心专题理性与情感辩证论证 (The Dialectic of Logos and Pathos Monograph)
专题一：数字化生存中的“物质性匮乏”：法律理性与生命叙事的断裂
在凯特琳·莫兰关于更新遗嘱的叙述中 [F2_12 🔍]，我们观察到一种深刻的制度理性与生活世界痛感的错位。从法律程序的角度看，遗嘱是一套标准化的 Logos 架构：它要求明确的执行人、清晰的资产清单以及无歧义的分配指令 [F2_14, F2_16]。这种技术官僚式的理性旨在通过消除模糊性来确保财产转移的效率，将死亡这一极具情感冲击的事件简化为一次行政性的“清算” [F2_15 🔍]。然而，莫兰在面对这份“模版化文件”时感受到的沮丧，本质上是对生命被简化为统计数据的反抗。她渴望一种 19 世纪式的、充满文学色彩的遗赠方式 [F2_17 🔍]，试图通过具体的实物（如象牙发梳、皮装订书籍）来锚定其生命在世间的痕迹 [F2_18 🔍]。
然而，这种对“物质性”的追求在当代数字化生存面前遭遇了剧烈的摩擦。莫兰发现，她最珍贵的记忆载体竟是一封来自大卫·鲍伊的电子邮件 [F2_21 🔍]。这里出现了一个极具张力的辩证矛盾：数字化技术在提升信息传递效率的同时，剥夺了情感的“触感”与“重量”。电子邮件虽然承载了极高的情感价值，但在法律遗赠的逻辑中，它缺乏作为“财产”的实体性，无法像弗朗西斯·克里克的信件那样在拍卖会上被量化为 600 万美元的价值 [F3_23 🔍]。这种“数字化碎片”与“制度化传承”之间的撕裂，揭示了当代人的一种深层生存焦虑：我们的生活世界被数字化理性接管，导致我们失去了能够被后代触摸、感知并由此构建生命叙事的物质支点。莫兰最终选择不更新遗嘱 [F3_25 🔍]，这种行为实际上是对冰冷行政程序的一种消极抵抗——她宁愿留下一个关于“空气炸锅”的混乱笑话，也不愿在数字化虚无中完成一次毫无温度的法律闭环。
专题二：美貌作为“货币”：社会资本的量化与肉身痛感的异化
凯蒂·派珀关于美貌的论述 [F1_3 🔍] 为我们提供了一个剖析社会审美理性与个体生存痛感冲突的样本。在社会运行的潜意识中，存在一套关于“美貌”的量化逻辑，即美貌被定义为一种“强大货币” [F1_3 🔍]。这种逻辑将女性的身体价值与某种特定的审美标准挂钩，形成了一套非正式但极具强制力的社会分层机制。当美貌被视为“货币”时，身体便不再仅仅是生命的承载者，而变成了某种可计算、可兑换的社会资本。
这里存在着一种深刻的辩证摩擦：制度端的“资本化”语言（将美貌视为货币）与生活端的“具象痛感”之间存在着巨大的温度差。当个体因为意外或疾病失去这种“货币”时，他们面对的不仅是生理上的创伤，更是社会资本的瞬间崩塌。这种量化逻辑导致了一种残酷的异化：个体的自我价值被简化为一套外部可见的审美参数。然而，通过将美貌定义为“货币”，派珀实际上揭示了这种社会机制的虚伪性与工具性。这种认知标志着个体在面对审美暴政时，通过解构“美貌”的资本属性，尝试将肉身的真实状态从“资本损失”的逻辑中剥离，从而在非货币化的维度上重构主体性的尊严。
▌ 面向学者的伦理与社会心理开放性追问与研究路标 (Open Horizons for Ethical & Sociological Inquiry)
- 【关于数字化遗产的本体论追问】：当人类的生命痕迹从“物质载体”（信件、物件）全面转向“数字载体”（邮件、社交记录）时，我们是否正在经历一场关于“死亡仪式感”的集体丧失？法律制度如何才能在维持效率的同时，接纳数字化情感资产的非物质性价值？
- 【关于身体资本与社会分层的探讨】：如果美貌被定义为一种“货币”
[F1_3 🔍]，那么这种资本的分配不均如何加剧社会的不平等？在算法推荐和视觉社交主导的时代，这种“美貌货币”的贬值或增值逻辑如何影响个体的心理健康与社会流动性？ - 【关于制度化行政与个体叙事的冲突研究】：以莫兰的遗嘱更新经历为样本，探讨现代行政管理（Administrative Logic）如何通过标准化模版抹除个体的独特性，以及个体如何通过“故意制造混乱”或“拒绝配合”来维持其生命叙事的完整性？